what would you say........

[WSM123]

I saw this on another forum and it was brilliant, so I decided to blatantly steal it. Some was hilarious, some was brutal but all a great vent no judgement
What would you love to say to your step kids but cant in real life??
I would say to SS7, when you get caught out in a lie, laughing and saying I was joking doesn't make it cute, its still a lie.

I don't treat my dsd like anything you have accused me of.

How am I supposed to know what you're frustrated and bitter about? But you're all projecting it on to me. Does it make you feel better?

So you haven't started lots of threads about your SD and how much you dislike her then?

We're ALL imagining it?

Okaaaaay then...

Pot Kettle Black.

Can't - have you read posts from other step-parents, not just on this thread, but on other threads?

I wonder if you see how differently you come across from those other step-parents, to those of us who have nothing to go on, but the words on the page.

I don't know you, and have no axe to grind. I'm not a step parent (this came up in active convos), I'm not an ex wife, and I've never had a step parent. No projecting, just reading.

I don't know who you were before your name change, I've nothing to go on, but this thread.

It's not happy reading - there's something going on that you're determined to deny, that seems very obvious to everyone reading your very own words.

I hope things get a bit easier for you, and that your relationship with your DP/DH improves soon.

I don't even understand why you post here tbh, though of course you can post wherever you like, but as I understand it there's quite a few boards out there for the more, er, critical step parent where you'd probably get a more pleasing reception.

so a lot happened when I wasn't looking,
DO ANY OF YOU SPARE A THOUGHT FOR THE STEPMOTHER YOU ARE BASHING?
its all well and good to stand up for the poor innocent kids, but how about the parent figure in their life who may well be on the brink after attacks like that? do you consider that people have feelings? do you consider that those feelings can be hurt badly by judgmental people? How do you think a kid would feel about losing a step parent to suicide or mental breakdown due to these awful nasty comments?

So being concerned for peoples well being is judging now????
I think my definition of judgment might be different to yours.

So you are concerned with the wellbeing of adults? But not so much about the wellbeing of children? Is that it?

No, I didn't expect the few people who actually had the balls to answer the question to get slammed as nasty people.
everyone deserves some respect, but it seems its in very short supply around here.
Just because you think something, or wish you could say something doesn't mean you would ever say nasty things out loud to the kids, or you hate the kids etc as implied by some.
we don't know each other, we don't know each others struggles but we all have the right to a bit of human decency

OH gooseberry you again. The difference is the adults you are slamming can read what you are saying to them, the kids cant.

Human decency? You can't even manage basic manners wicked.

Yeah it takes real balls to slag off your step children on an anonymous forum. Lots of heart in that.

OP just leave them to it. They thrive off responses.

To dsd 1 who is 20. I'm so proud of the lovely young woman you've become and I love the friendship we have.

To dsd 2 who is 12. I'm sorry that your mum has spent the last 3.5 years bitching about your dad and me to such an extent that you now parrot stuff at your dad which hurts him so much. You only know what your mum tells you and that's that we don't want you here. You don't see the emails from your dad asking to see you. You don't see how down he is when your mum emails back that you are busy or don't want to come. I doubt you are even asked. I don't care that you ignore me or treat me like shit but I pray for the day you finally stop playing your parents off against each other, stop lying to everyone and start rebuilding your relationship with your dad.

As do you. If you didn't you would have buzzed off long ago surely?

If somebody thinks awful things about their stepkids, chances are it is going to show in their interactions with them however much they think they are managing to hide their feelings. I don't think anyone seriously believes that someone could think their stepdaughter was, to use OP's example, a 'little slut,' and it having no bearing on how the child is treated in real life.

There is nothing wrong with having the odd negative thought or vent, the problem is when the negative feelings outweigh the good, as is often the case with some of the posters on this forum. Those posters have no business being in a stepfamily and it shows a real selfishness to chose to continue their relationship at the expense of children's well-being.

Wow. Just wow.

You say she goaded your DS over the cake. Can't you even entertain the possibility that he did the same to her over the sweets, just she reacted and he didn't?

I do actually wonder whether Cant actually quite relished the opportunity to allow her DS to eat sweets in front of DSD when she had none, as a little tit for tat exercise over the cake incident. I expect she probably got a little frisson of pleasure from it.

Of course she did catch! She cannot stand that little girl and hates that she came before her precious, HATES it! I think if she could make it so DSD disappeared from her life she most certainly would!

I feel so angry for that little girl

The little girls' parents, both of them, also have a part to play in this though surely? In protecting their child?

They shouldn't be leaving their child with Can't.

I think she's the poster who is largely responsible for her DSD when she's with her Dad. And that Mum regularly asks Can't to pick up DSD / provide holiday care in addition to a 50:50 arrangement?

If Can't is outwardly bitter and resentful to her DSD, both parents must know about it and should have taken steps to shield her. Presumably DSD doesn't much like Can't and will have relayed that sentiment to her parents. Maybe I'm wrong but I can't really get my head around why the kid is still with Can't so often.

Ultimately the responsibility for any child rests with his / her parents, no?

For me this a biggy when it comes to 'SP bashing'. If the SP is so vile, why on Earth are the parents of these poor kids leaving them in sole charge so often?