what would you say........

[WSM123]

I saw this on another forum and it was brilliant, so I decided to blatantly steal it. Some was hilarious, some was brutal but all a great vent no judgement
What would you love to say to your step kids but cant in real life??
I would say to SS7, when you get caught out in a lie, laughing and saying I was joking doesn't make it cute, its still a lie.

Things I'd say to my DSS that I can't:

"I bloody love you, you amazing lad. I'm so proud of and the young man you've become.
Come here and give us a cuddle!"

Actually, I can and do say these things to him as long as it's not in front of his friends and I embarrass him

"Lecture" or sharing information on my on personal situation that I didn't have to? Do you see your negativity there? You want to dislike this little girl, you don't want to make allowances. Your attitude is the reason why people fear SM in general. They're terrified they'll get one like you in their children's lives.

And no you don't need to take her to appointments but you could mention to her Dad and if she does have anxiety you need to stop being so disgustingly attacking and judgemental towards her.

nicki you'll not be able to reason with cantwait, she changed her name after being challenged about her very frequent awful posts regarding this poor little girl. It's 8 years or something since she married her dad, and is still resentful of it! Why on earth she's had 3 more children with a man she does not want to share I don't know!
Imagine of another woman spoke about her sons the same way she does DSD?! only then might she actually realise just how poisonous her relationship with the little girl is.

Re the cake thing

Why not just say 'DSD if you're not going to share can you just eat the cake please. You wouldn't like it if DS said that to you so don't say it to him'

End of.

Stop looking for evidence of goading on her behalf. You really should look up selective bias. You don't like her, you might not even realise you don't but its clear from your posts you really don't. You are looking for evidence which justifies your dislike of her. Normal child behaviour is being twisted into perceived nastiness/goading/selfish/attention seeking behaviour. Lots of children act like that. My youngest DD doesn't like the others sitting on my lap or cuddling me. My older two wind each other up about what they have and the other doesn't. In fact sweets which have been given out in school is a massive flashpoint for them! That would've ended in a riot in my house.

I don't want to dislike her at all. That's a very bizarre comment Nicki.

I have a lot on my plate and I'm absolutely drained. What allowances do you want me to make? Everyone else in RL agrees with me. We all know that dsd doesn't have anxiety and that she's a happy girl. How the fuck do you know best?

The husband must be spineless to put up with it - if my DP was even remotely scathing of my DD he would be gone!

I would have made him share the sweets! Surely!

DS came out of school with chocolate cakes he'd made in a baking class. I made him share them with DSD and my other two DC. Actually I didn't have to make him share. He knows the deal.

Life isn't fair and you can't make it fair. You can make a kid share their sweets though, why on Earth wouldn't you?

How the fuck do all of you know best?

Because you ARE twisting normal behaviour and you're posting about it here using it as evidence of difficult behaviour and it isn't. You're being challenged on it because your attitude and how you're viewing this child is incomprehensible to most of us. Is that not telling you something? You just don't like her and you're actively showing it.

Oh Nicki you're the one twisting it by coming to the conclusion that I don't like her.

So predictable.

You don't. You can pretend all you like but you don't. You couldn't bitch and complain like you do about such petty nonsense, you couldn't be so determined to see her as sly and bullying and unkind if you actually liked and welcomed her.

I would have made her share the cake too. And if she refused I would have confiscated / chucked it. If she'd used it to goad I would have taken it. If she boasted about her holiday I would have sent her to her room. DSD, DS, DD...none of them would get away with that crap. DH and her Mum would fully support me on it too.

It is normal behaviour for kids. What isn't normal is how it's being processed / dealt with.

Oswin your post was a good read for me, thank you. I am guilty of getting annoyed and resentful at the amount of my time that I spend on DSD but you're absolutely right - none my DC have ever shown any resentment towards DSD because of it. It's just the way the cookie crumbles as far as they're concerned.

No ,all the posts you make, especially those under your actual username, tell us perfectly that you despise her, no twisting necessary!

Must be time for another name change

Nah I'm not name changing.

Doesn't make it ok though does it IAm?

My DS hit his brother. Oh he's just a child it's normal so it's ok.

No I can't see that at all.

I didn't expect her to share her cake.
I didn't expect him to share his sweets.

And how could I possibly have foreseen it happening on both days? Does your school warn you before hand or something?

I don't bring things to school with me. On the very very odd occasion I might and yes, if it was my turn to pick dsd up I would get her something too before you all jump to assumptions Gosh, am I terrible parent for not bringing my children something to school everyday?

See it doesn't bother me. Just because they have a friend who has a birthday, it doesn't mean the other children need to have something as well. They will all get their turn at being given some sweets by their friends.
I'm not one for buying presents for siblings on birthdays either.