ex wife has arranged 'family'day out - should i feel annoyed?

[tggirl]

Bit of background- my partner and I have been together for 4 and a half years, I have 2 children in their late teens he has a son who is turning 6. Son lives with partner's ex wife and her boyfriend and he stays with us every other weekend.

It's his 6th birthday next month and as he is into lego we thought for his birthday treat we'd take him to Legoland the weekend before his birthday which is when he's with us. We've got the tickets several months ago and all is good.

Several weeks ago ex asked my partner if he'd give her a hand with the birthday party for a few hours, she was going to book a local activity centre for about 10 children and as her partner was away that weekend she needed help, this seemed a reasonable request so he agreed and I didn't mind. A few days later she texted to say son didn't want a party he wanted to go to Chessington instead and wanted Daddy to come as well. I wasn't happy with this plan and said so to my partner who said he think about it before replying

Fast forward to the other day when partner informs me he is going to Chessington with ex and son. I explained I wasn't happy and he should have discussed it with me before making the decision, after all he is spending the day with son prior to his birthday and son could have one to one special time with Mum the following week. Partner isn't happy about that as he said son specifically wanted him to spend the day with him and mummy and he didn't want to let him down.

Am I bad for thinking this is unacceptable on several counts or is this what other people do with their exs and children. I would never have considered this when my children were smaller. I am so annoyed with the ex wife as im sure she is playing some sort of game.

Please let me know what you think and if i should go cap in hand and apologise to my partner for being so cross about this.

Jesus reg you really do have an issue with SM don't you

Ha ha ha me dramatic really after the hands in the air hysterics on this thread about a father spending his son's birthday with him and his mum. Yeah whatever

No not at all. As I said I am a SM and there are many SM on here that I respect and value.
The ones I have an issue with are the ones who want the SDC's to not exist or hold a lesser place in their DF life. The ones who find fault in the simplest of things like spending time with a child on their birthday. The ones who moan constantly about how difficult being a SM is and how the DC's are horrible yet when it comes down to it the SM is the one with the issue or more often than not their DP/DH is crap and a disney dad. Yet they still blame the SDC. They are the SM I have a problem with.

Strange he wants this arrangement.

Could it be at all possible he just likes his dad?

Oh I know why because SM rule and what they want matters, what their children want matters.....first child pft they are history. The new family is what is important now

Oh right as that ^^^ seems quite a sweeping statment.

Jesus reg you really do have an issue with SM don't you

That old cop out

Directing it at a SM is a bit desperate.

Kong that's a bit common sensical for these here parts

Na, I'd feel a bit bad if I did that actually. Excluding the other children like that.

You might but the children may enjoy it. Oh but wait what the children want doesn't matter....according to you and Tequila

Could it be at all possible he just likes his dad?

Yes, it could be. Or DSS realises his DM wont' like the rides and so wants DF to come. Or DM's DP isnt' available so she wants Dex to come to go on the rides. Who knows?

Kong that's a bit common sensical for these here parts

It seems so. Not enough of an ulterior motive to be true.

As I said I am one of the SM I like and respect.

I have never forced myself anywhere uninvited. When we had DC's I didn't exclude the SDC nor did I demand my DC came first in everything. When we had the opportunity to spend time as one big family we did in fact we still do. When we couldn't for whatever reason then I didn't get my knickers in a twist about it.

I also trusted my DH to spend time with his ex because I am not jealous or insecure and I trust him. I appreciated the fact they were mum and dad and I didn't try to stop it. I had my own relationship with SDC which I cherish to this day.

Directing it at a SM is a bit desperate

Says it all really

I must make sure that each of my children get a day out with just mum and dad next year for their birthdays. Then dsd can have one with just DP and her mum.

Ok then cheeky why must your children have a day out with just mum and dad before your dsd is allowed to?

Why does what your children do have to come first before dsd is allowed to do it? Why can't your dsd just have a day out with her mum and dad simply because they are her mum and dad. What has it got to do with your children?

But that isn't what you were saying cheeky because I can not possibly know when their birthdays are.

Are the DC's yours and your DH/DP's if so then I would suspect they do spend every birthday with mum & dad. If your DH/DP has a good relationship with the ex why would it be so bad for DSD to have the same??

Erm, because their birthdays fall in Jan, Feb and March whereas hers in Oct?

Which would mean hers is next up then wouldnt it?

If that is the case cheeky what is your issue with the OP's DP spending his sons birthday with him and his mum

Which would mean hers is next up then wouldnt it?

Well spotted King