Honestly, this board is not a nice place

[TheMumsRush]

Sick of goady fuckers, trolls and people coming to bash SM from all angles! Some of the "advise" is shocking. If you try it's "step back, not your kids!" But if you don't it's "you're cold and the kids know it". And god forbid you just have a rant that you can't in RL. I see the same posters with the same SM hating shite!

I'm with you there. I've still not learnt that my place is still in the wrong. And that I should shut up and put up. There's some really not nice non-SM's on here.

I'm with you there. I was classed as "the step mother from hell " because I didn't want my stepson eating in our room. He was free to eat whatever he liked in his own ,and not even my kids were allowed to eat upstairs. But ,nope ,I'm evil ,my poor step kids.

It use to be a place where you could get good advice from others SM. I'm not saying I've not deserved flaming but the stuff I see more recently is just an absolute joke. People being made to feel shit just because they tried, people being made to feel shit because they didn't try hard enough. And all the while no actual real advice!

I've noticed that if there's nothing to have a bun fight over nobody is interested... Lots of people genuinely need advice. And it really gets my goat that people are accused of being the OW or feel that they have to defend the relationship they have with their DP

It's 'advice'.

You're welcome.

It's better than it used to be .

You will see in my last post it is correct, so no "advice" needed. But you obviously just picked on the one thing you can pick apart and then posted without reading the rest

Thanks

I would report them OP. MNHQ deleted a thread today as they thought the OP was a GF.

I always think the are you the OW comments are tactless and only said to have a dig. I would report them too.

See!?! Bunfight! Pretty sure MumsRush knows how to spell... Bloody autocorrect makes fools of us all.

Totally agree! We can't win no matter what we do. And admitting to not knowing what to do and trying to get advice (on issues other than spelling) gets exactly the opposite.

I never add to the these boards because I find some of the sm threads horrible to read. I have friends who are fantastic SM's (without exception) but sadly I am often really saddened by what I read on here and it's most if the time too; not a one off.

Asking whether you were the OW, when its totally irrelevant to the issue, says more about the person asking...

Nick, it has been so much better, mums/step mums helping each other. Not just accusing and derailing threads,

Punygod correcting another poster's spelling is unacceptable, and only reflects poorly on you rather than on the poster who or may not know the correct spelling anyway.

MN is not about putting others down - or shouldn't be any way. What exactly is the point of correcting spelling mistakes if not to demonstrate how very superior you are?

See!?! Bunfight! Pretty sure MumsRush knows how to spell... Bloody autocorrect makes fools of us all.

I agree MumsRush. It depresses me that in a recent thread, there are posters roundly criticising an OP for trying too hard and other posters criticising her for considering stopping trying. I mean I can understand people have different points of view, but why in earth do people post in such a way that makes out the 'solution' is simple and the OP is stupid/terrible for not seeing it as they do and doing as they would? Can't stand it.

It's also painfully obvious that certain posters have an agenda and will only post in threads where they can flog said agenda.

Every step family is different, some SPs behave badly, some parents behave badly, some exes behave badly, some kids behave badly. But some people are just blinded by their own personal experience I think.

Every step family is different, some SPs behave badly, some parents behave badly, some exes behave badly, some kids behave badly. But some people are just blinded by their own personal experience I think.

I could not agree more.

And some posters project too much. I've seen a lot more recently from mums who won't except stepmothers in their own children's lives and are not the stepmother themselves. It's just not helpful

Bigol - do you mean you are saddened by the situations some stepmums on here are in re: unsupportive partners/vindictive exes? Or you are saddened by us SMs ourselves?

And some posters project too much.

Projection is never helpful. It is very human.

There have also been a fair few posts recently of the "I'm a SM, nothing has fixed the awful problems in our family therefore all stepfamiles are doomed" variety too.

It is probably best to stop trying to keep score or to point score and just to get on with the business of the board.

MNHQ can deal with infringements as they happen if everyone reports appropriately.

I do agree with your post arsenic, it's just getting a bit much at the moment. It's disheartening to see a OP's having to wade through a load of shit just to get some actual helpful advice.

I do feel for the newbies.

The only way back to sanity, though, is for people to post in response to OPs and the good ole 'report/delete' sytem to work its magic.

Things will calm down

I suppose it depends on what you understand to be good advice really. I see lots of good advice on here but because it's not agreeing with the party line it's dismissed as unsupportive or worse.

Just to say that I am not a SM, but I think it must be an incredibly hard job and not one I'd ever look forward to.

I'd assume that if you're an SM posting on MN, you are at the very least trying to be a good SM. I just can't see the point of people posting solely to turn something into a bunfight, but I suppose they can't help themselves.

If they've got that much spare time, though, they might like to come and do my ironing.