Do-gooding clique thread

[ArsenicFaceCream]

Thanks for the name dozie

Spot on about support encompassing thewillingness to say "l think you're wrong".

On that note why , you and I have seen/read the same things both on this thread and another one, I disagree with your interpretation of it and you disagree with mine.

In my view you are putting a meaning into my posts that is at odds with what I said, as the writer of those words I know what I meant, you have chosen to interpret them differently, and nothing I say will make you see them in any other light.

We have a different opinion, we disagree, let's leave it there, an endless post mortem will change nothing and achieve nothing.

^Sometimes support is about telling the poster here that she's wrong; no ifs or buts about it.

Yes SM come here in despair. I, for one, don't think telling them how saintly they are and how awful everyone else is, is being supportive.

It might make them feel better for the length of the thread, but real life has an awful habit of rolling on, regardless of what MN thinks.

That just about sums it up Walter, no agenda, no bias, just reasonable, honest advice and support.

Pag my ds has no sn and is also happy to be glued to a screen of some kind. (Can't think where he gets that from ). But I do drag him out and, once he's in the forest or at the beach or the swimming pool or the badminton, he joins in enthusiastically. Sometimes I think he is just happy doing what he's doing, whether it's active or not.

I had the opposite Walter I had reams of posters telling me how awful au was, I was accused of abusing SD and SS, DH was accused of abusing his children and his ex wife because no one would believe what I was posting.

It was the step mums here who helped maintain my sanity - whilsy I know it wasnt SDs fault having a 9 year old tell you you are a fucking whore who screwed her father n her mothers bed isnt much fun - thete were times I absolutely hated her - it affevted everything - but I was good to her, having people say - I unferstand Ive felt that too - those helpef - berating me didnt at all - it made me more entrenched in my views.

My step children dominated my life with their issues - scraping phlem of a wall for an early example and because I felt my own dc were fine SCs took uo my emotional financial and physical time yo detriment of my dcs

DHs ex was horrendous - not because he told me but because scs did and I heard read and saw for myelf - but mumsnet as a whole refused to believe me - if I had anywhere else to turn Id have stopped posting but I was drowning literally in everything that wad happening

I remortgaged my house tp accomodate them, we spent 12k in solicitors fees, but still I was accused of all sorts here.

you never know what is really going on in someones life but only in SP are parents routinely berated for expressing their feelings

I was not a perfrct step parent - onceand only once I went to slap sd - but I left my home rather than do that - when yhe full story was told in court the judge himself suggested she apologise - mumsnet was my lifeline and also a great source of stress

You do need to realise a higher proportion of "bad" stories getposted because those tend to be the people who are searching for support.

flossy no one should ever tell a person the way they are feeling is "wrong" each person is entitled to their own feelings - no counsellor or therapist would do that.

I'm not engaging with you anymore, why because I don't think you're here to have a reasoned discussion.

I honestly believe you're trying to shut us up.

Perhaps I'm wrong and I'm not saying you shouldn't post, but yesterday we were sucked into talking with you only for you to start throwing around accusations and calling us names (I'm guessing you didn't report your own name calling posts).

So discuss away. Just not with me.

Names? What names? Please report away mumsnet will happily delete any personal attacks I think you will find there are non - and I didnt post yesterday. I didn't intend to post at all until I was dragged up this morning.

Zombie what sort of entertainment will you be providing? Or, as director, do we all have to do an act. And does it have to involve hats?

Ooh, free entertainment!

If you want to see what sort of entertainment a cruise director provides don't you need to watch Carry On Cruising or something similar?

Clash

So short lived working day they cancelled their appointment. And I got dressed and everything

I've never been on a cruise. Isn't it supposed to be some sort of honour to be invited to the Captain's table for dinner?

I was on a mini cruise in Egypt but it wasn't a real one.

It was only because I wouldn't go on a sail boat and wee in bushes along the Nile for a few days!

That sounds very dangerous Walt, aren't there crocodiles lurking in the bushes?

I was in a clothes shop, the kind that a nice old lady has run for 40 years, the other week. It actually had a section labelled cruise wear. It was full of elaborate cocktail dresses from the 1980's.
I loved the idea that your holiday wardrobe can have cruise wear

why when the pendulum swings dramatically the other way it is only fair and reasonable that others try to redress the balance. All people here are trying to do is find a middle ground, to stop the extreme entrenchment on either side of the divide.

Issues are complex, there are often many and varied ways of looking at the same circumstances, surely it is helpful for people to see all sides and read differing opinions.

Secondly, people very often use the word 'feel' when they mean 'think'.

Thirdly, people who post on here are not normally counsellors or therapists and don't pretend to be, so what a counsellor or therapist would or wouldn't say to someone is irrelevant. In rl friends and family will often say "I think you are wrong, because..." this is no different.

Finally, I still hold to my view posted earlier in this thread that it is extremely dangerous and damaging for untrained and unqualified people to offer up a theory for a poster to self diagnose to their situation which that poster then uses purely to validate their position or behaviour.

I was in a clothes shop, the kind that a nice old lady has run for 40 years, the other week. It actually had a section labelled cruise wear. It was full of elaborate cocktail dresses from the 1980's

That sounds fabulous dahling! Vair Dynasty!

I'm sure there were crocs and all sorts in the bushes (not the shoes, mind) but I can't be sure because I peed in a nice flushable toilet on a fancy cruise ship!

I would love that shop!
I want to channel Liz Taylor with kaftans and beauty's turbans . I end up looking like the desperate child of Demis Roussos and Hilda Ogden .

Evening wear, daytime casual, cruise wear, work wear, polo outfits...

Surely that's just everyone's normal wardrobe dahlings.

And a whole separate section for the hats of course.

A lot of designers do "cruise wear collections" that cover the whole shebang from breakfast to lounging on deck, to playing coits, to afternoon tea, to the cocktail hour and beyond. One must factor in at least six changes of clothes per day, and additional changes for sightseeing. I mean you can't just pitch up onto a cruise ship with any old wear can you, I mean it's just not on.

Happy Silver Wedding Anniversary Paggy!

Two things sprang to mind when I read your question about your DS, probably one of which might be easier than the other but you've also probably tried it:

1. Have you got a Wii? Will he use it? Are there any activity games that he can "act out" on one that would give him exercise? What sort of Disney does he like - are there any active scenes in it?
2. Would he like horseriding? Or is he allergic/doesn't like animals/scared of them?

• nice hat! Are you starting Zombie FM up on here too?

And hello to the rest of the Mad Hatters!

I love the idea of a wardrobe full of "cruise wear" - and yes, I do believe it is a bit of an honour to be invited to the Captain's Table. A friend of mine had her 21st birthday in Sydney, on a cruise liner (don't ask me how!) and when they found out it was her 21st birthday, she and her friend were invited up to the bridge for drinks with the Captain! (Straight up, no funny business).

If by that you mean my thoughts that my SD is spousified are wrong you are entitled to your view - but as the person who supported her for years I am entitled to my views.

As a child witness in court she was entitled to protection, being given a separate entrance etc, instead she was sat outside a courtroom entrance, sobbing her little heart out like a puppet on display because that was more important to her mother than sds rights as a child to protection.

Given that she was not protected in any way shape or form by the person whose job it was to protect her most - it was me who hqve her a hug and told her to go shopping while her family sat inside and she was alone - I am quite secure in my assessment of her situation

And given the stripping of services and the lack of accessibility to support that children, my own included, have experienced under the current government - god help any parent if they wait for an "official" diagnosis for their child before they start trying to help tjem.

When you have spent over 2 years of your recent life and 7 if you go back, trying to access scarce resourcesv- then you get a handle that you are mostly alone.
You only need to spend an hour on thr SEN board tp realise that.

See I don't know if I'd like to be randomly invited to the Captain's table!

I want to enjoy my cruise, not panic about making polite conversation with strangers!

Perhaps I'm not cut out for the cruise life after all

I went on a disney cruise this year, it was brilliant! Didn't buy any special cruise clothes though .

Each and every family gets announced as they walk on and the crew are all there clapping, this goes on ALL day till everyone has boarded. All I could think was how sore their hands would be