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Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us? (Thread 3)

1099 replies

Squirrel3 · 03/05/2006 17:58

\link{http://www.win.tue.nl/math/eidma/champagne.jpg\Cheers!}

Sorry, but virtual champagne is compulsory! Grin

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NotActuallyAMum · 10/07/2006 15:07

FANC you're right, I know

Squirrel yes I guess it does show she cares. I had to smile last week when I read your post about your dss saying he loves you - I said it to dsd about 10 days ago for the first time and she said it back, but that's all gone now. Right now I don't even like her let alone love her. LOL at her doing the housework and cooking dinner - you're spot on about the flying pigs

NotActuallyAMum · 10/07/2006 15:08

'Fat dance' cheeky bugger

I used to go to Keep Fit classes many moons ago with some ex work colleagues and one of the men we worked with always called it Keep Fat!!

Original poster
Squirrel3 · 10/07/2006 15:45

Phew! Got 'buns of steel' and a washboard stomach now!!!!!!! (I wish)

I'm sure you do still love dsd, you just don't like her very much atm.

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NotActuallyAMum · 10/07/2006 15:55

Yes you're probably right

Couldn't believe my SIL yesterday. Saturday was the first time ever that all of the children had stayed out overnight, their eldest is 16 so you can imagine how long it's been since they've been able to have a lie-in and what did she do?? Got up at 6:45 to go car booting!! Mad, mad woman!!!!

Anyway, enough about me, how are you feeling? Hope you're OK

Original poster
Squirrel3 · 10/07/2006 16:22

6.45! The woman is mad!!!!!!

I'm ok thank you, I guess I am just tired. I got really resentful of being the only one that does any housework in this house. The step-kids arrive and then its me that spends all day cleaning up after them. Yet if my ds leaves anything out or makes a mess dp is moaning on and on about it (don't know why its not as if he cleans up after my ds) dp calls me a mug for cleaning up after my ds when he makes a mess. I suppose I am a double mug for cleaning up after dp and his kids then!

I get so resentful that it is my house, I pay the mortgage, yet I have nowhere to sleep when they are here. It just really p-ed me off this weekend and I spoke my mind and things got a bit ....... well you know....... I'm just sick of being treated like a mug by all of them tbh, I can just feel the resentment build and build.

I've just been having a bit of a crap time of it lately (things I can't talk about on here) also its comimg up the the aniversary of my Grandad's death, and all of those feelings of resentment over the way dp was towards me back then when I needed him most is resurfacing. I know it shouldn't but it is......

Anyway roll on the holiday, dp does most of the work when we are on holiday!

Sorry for the moan, nothing like your weekend, I hope its better when you go home and you and dsd can talk.

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NotActuallyAMum · 10/07/2006 16:32

He calls you a mug for cleaning up after your own ds but expects you to clean up after him and his children?? Bloody cheek!! Well good for you for speaking your mind, hope it does some good. I really don't know how you've managed to hold your tongue for this long, I know I wouldn't have been able to

DP has text me to say dsd has said again how sorry she is. Suppose I have to try and put it behind me, easier said than done though

Original poster
Squirrel3 · 10/07/2006 16:37

I know its going to be hard but you do have to show her the 'correct' way to behave, I know you wouldn't but don't push her out like her Mum did.

I think that it has to be made clear to her that reacting violently is not acceptable and there will not be a 'second chance' if it happens again. On the otherhand I do think you need to try to find out why she reacted violently, there may be reasons for it.

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NotActuallyAMum · 10/07/2006 16:47

No I won't push her out, if anything it'll be me who leaves. If that does happen DP will have to sell the house though to give me back the £50k that I gave him - and no way can he afford to buy a house on his own. I guess they'd both have to go and live with DPs mum and dad

DP has asked her why she did it and got her usual answer - 'I don't know'. Yes you're right, she does need to be told that it's not acceptable and that this was her last chance. DP told her when she moved in that we wouldn't tolerate this sort of thing and that if it did happen she'd have to leave. I pointed this out to him yesterday but got the answer I expected - 'I can't make her go back to her mum'

Original poster
Squirrel3 · 10/07/2006 16:53

I don't mean push her out of the house, I mean don't push her out of your life, you obviously mean a lot to her or she wouldn't be lashing out at you iykwim.

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NotActuallyAMum · 10/07/2006 16:56

I'm away now. Big thank you for listening, you've been a big help

Original poster
Squirrel3 · 10/07/2006 16:57

I guess you are off home soon, hope it goes ok, speak tomorrow.

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Original poster
Squirrel3 · 10/07/2006 17:07

Crikey! I've just got a start date for the new job - 17th July!

I thought I would be able to start after my holiday!!!!!

Mind you I was getting a bit stir crazy doing nothing all day.

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NotActuallyAMum · 11/07/2006 08:56

lol Squirrel so you re-join the ranks of the employed on Monday then? Hope it goes well

Feel much better today, when dsd got in last night she gave me a 'sorry' card, a flashing football fridge magnet and a small cake with 'sorry' written on it in icing. DP said she'd done it all herself - he didn't ask her to, she said she wanted to, and she paid for it out of her own money too. We had a chat, she knows how much upset she caused and realises it mustn't happen again. So I really do feel much better today and confident we can get through it. And I've told him I will go on holiday

How are you Squirrel? Hope things are better with you and DP

Original poster
Squirrel3 · 11/07/2006 08:59

I knew it would be ok. I'm really pleased.

Dp and I not really talking yet but 'hey ho' who cares?

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NotActuallyAMum · 11/07/2006 09:04

Oh dear Squirrel

Does he always sulk like this? Can he not see that he deserved it? You did well to hold it in for as long as you did

I was thinking about you last night, I thought "well I feel better, hope Squirrel does too"

Original poster
Squirrel3 · 11/07/2006 09:05

It really nice that she thought about it and did all of those lovely things for you, see she is a sweet girl after all.

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Original poster
Squirrel3 · 11/07/2006 09:06

Yes, he always sulks, then says its me and tries to make me feel guilty about it. Not going to happen this time though!

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NotActuallyAMum · 11/07/2006 09:14

Good for you, I'd certainly stick to my guns if I were you

Yes she is sweet most of the time. Sometimes I don't think she's any worse than any other teenager but Friday night was something else. I do think she realises though that it's not to happen again. I really thought that the first sign of any problems and she'd go running back to her mum, I'm very surprised that hasn't happened. Her mum, btw, hasn't been in touch since dsd saw her last week. She really thinks it's up to dsd to 'do the running' so to speak. But dsd thinks she doesn't care because she's not phoning her, which I think any 13yo would

Really hope you and DP sort things out, specially with your holiday coming up. When do you go? Looks like we're going on Friday now instead of Saturday, dsd's school have decided they're closing on Thursday 20th instead of Friday 21st!! Which isn't a problem to us but it might be to some people

Original poster
Squirrel3 · 11/07/2006 09:16

We will be speaking by the time we go away, we go away on the 29th, can't wait!

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NotActuallyAMum · 11/07/2006 09:33

That's good, positive thinking - I like it! Don't do enough of it myself

It's a heck of a treck to Cornwall for you isn't it? How long do you think it'll take you?

Original poster
Squirrel3 · 11/07/2006 09:35

Dp recons around 8 hours, we are leaving around 5am, just waking the kids up and putting them in the back of the car in their pj's with their duvets in theh ope that they will go back to sleep. We will stop of for brekkie on the way.

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Original poster
Squirrel3 · 11/07/2006 09:39

'theh ope'? Whats that?

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mummyno2 · 11/07/2006 10:34

Morning everyone.

Naam I'm glad that things have turned the corner for you. Your dsd was testing the waters, and didn't like the response she got from your dp and lashed out the people closest to her. At least your dp had the balls to stick to it and then work things through and make her see how much she upset everyone. My dsd2 had an episode like that saying she wanted to go home to mummy when she couldn't get her own way a few weeks back. She screamed for nearly 2 hours and wouldn't calm down. As she is only 7 I think it was the only way of getting her anger out. All is better now, and it has been forgotten. Its tough when they are kids, they just don't know how to express themselves in a rational way.

Welcome back to the world of work Squirrel . Hope it all goes well and that you have internet access!

NotActuallyAMum · 11/07/2006 10:34

Blimey, that really is a heck of a journey. At least it's only 3 hours for us. We can do it in just under 2.5 on our own but no doubt the girls will want to stop. We'll leave about 6, we're lucky having my brothers van because at least we don't have to wait for the key

NotActuallyAMum · 11/07/2006 10:36

Hello mummyno2 - x posts there

Yes it was tough - still is in fact. Think it's going to take a while for me to completely get back to normal but I'm getting there

How are you?

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