Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us? (Thread 3)

[Squirrel3]

\link{http://www.win.tue.nl/math/eidma/champagne.jpg\Cheers!}

Sorry, but virtual champagne is compulsory!

Why is it that sometimes all of the old resentment comes back and bites you in the bum?

You ok Naam?

Very long story - don't want to bore you with it, but it finished with her throwing an absolute paddy on Friday night. DP had to restrain her, she kicked me, kept telling me to get stuffed, called me some really awful names and said some really awful things. All because basically, she did something wrong, OK she apologised - then I had a bit of a go at her and she just flipped. I think she thought she could say sorry and that would be it, all's forgotten. She stayed with DPs best friend and his girlfriend on Friday night, I wanted her to stay there Saturday too but of course DP let her come back. Saturday was OK though, my brothers kids behaved and I guess it took our minds off it

I really don't know if we're going to get through this though, the way I feel atm I don't want to be with him any more I've told him I'm not going on holiday next Saturday - he can take her and her two friends on his own

PMSL at alligator's helf day I needed something to make me laugh today

How about you? Hope you're OK

Shit Naam!

I supose it gives you an insight to what may have been happening at home with her Mum (no comfort to you I know).

My dd went through a stage like this, one day she even pushed me down the stairs and gave me a black eye another time when I tried to disipline her. Your origional post about what happened with dsd and her Mum rang alarm bells with me which is why I had a lot of sypmathy with her Mum.

It turns out (with dd) that she was being severely bullied at school and she had all of this anger that she couldn't get out. Do you think that dsd may have a lot of anger from Mum/Dad split or from elsewhere?.

I sorry but I do have to say this but, I do also think that dsd may be being manipulative too, she is going to run out of places to stay if she keeps lashing out everytime sombody says "No" to her.

I think that dsd needs to see the school councellor again to try to get to the bottom of what is really going on.

I think that you and dp will come through this, you just have to work together and create a united front.

BTW have some {{{hugs}}}

Thank you

Yes you're right, I said to DP that this was probably exactly how she was with BM. Still can't understand why she hit/kicked/punched back though, I would never do that. And yes, she certainly is going to run out of places to stay if she's not careful. I don't know if she has 'inner anger' about anything or not, part of me thinks she's just spoilt and been allowed to have her own way far too much, it's too late to changer her now. And yes - she certainly is being manipulative, as always! She's still seeing the school councellor, either tomorrow or Wednesday. I've told DP to ring her and ask if there's anywhere we can send her for councelling during the holidays. I really think she needs help - this is not normal teenage behaviour

As for DP and I, tbh I don't even know if I want to try to come through it. I'd be happier on my own, and I'd have more money!

Just very nearly booked a holiday abroad for myself, £440 for a week all-inclusive in Greece - cheaper than going to Ingoldmells! Soooooo tempting....

Talk to me Naam (if you can) I've got to go out soon but I want to make sure you are ok first.

It must have been a nightmare for you, you were doing so well, then it must seem like you have had it all thrown back in your face. You must feel awful.

Posts crossed Naam.

Certainly do feel as if I've had everything thrown back in my face, you're spot on

Don't worry I'll be OK, just taking one day at a time for now. DP keeps texting me saying how much he loves me, wants me, doesn't want me to leave, how worried he is about me etc....

Thank you for your concern

hello NAAM so sorry to hear about this. In the circs Greece sounds fab! Go on! at least you know you have done everything right, with dsd, if that helps xxxx

Naam, it is not to late to change her. Yes, she may have been spoilt but your dp owes it to her to change it iykwim.

She can't go on throughout her life acting this way every time she doesn't get her own way, when you are a parent it is your job to teach them this. Your dp and dsd's mother need to realise that their dd will not stop loving them if they say "No", she may not like it, she will probably tell them she hates them but at the end of the day she will be thankful for it.

I hung on in there and was strict as I could be with my dd, (of course I made mistakes along the way, teenagers don't come with a handbook) and now she tells me how thankful she is that I did.

There are places that dsd can get councelling over the Summer Holidays try here please don't be put off by the 'mental health' label. They deal with alot of teenagers with emotional problems, CAMHS really helped my dd.

Lol at booking a holiday on your own, it would be pretty boring on your own though, can I come too?

Seriously, you should go on holiday with dsd and dp, you need to show a united front. Dp and yourself should have a long chat with her about what is aceptable behaviour before you go though.

NINAH!!! How are you??? I started a couple of threads for you a few of months ago, someone (think it was Nemo?) said you were still having problems with your DP and weren't on here much.

How are things with you?

That's really made me smile seeing you

Hello Ninah, how are you?

Hiya! yes that's right, the soap opera here continues and I haven't had much chance to be online (it's p's computer)
Children are lovely, fantastic, wonderful and STILL on mat leave. Life has been good apart from p. In Jan/Feb was telephoned by exhusband of local barmaid saying he'd been shagging her while I was pregnant, we are now living in same house on separate floors, what a mess. My house has been on the market 6 months but no sale yet. On top of everything dad has been very ill and they couldn't find out what it was they finally found cancer but by then it was far too late. With my sisters now at his. P has acutually been v supportive over the past weekend but I still can't forget that he made me WAIT til the football finished before he'd look after children so I could travel down to see dad in hospital. Took Louis with me and when it became clear things were getting wose and worse asked p to come and get him - again, had to wait for football!! still afterhaving them for a week on this own he has become enlightened.
Seeing the vicar later, vile.
But all this aside it is really good to hear from you, I totally agree with squirrels post after my last one. But I think Greece sounds hugely tempting!

oh yes and GLAD I made you smile!
For me, BM and DSS are positives in my life - weird, isn't it. I don't fit neatly into this thread at all, but it is good to hear from you both
If I have to go suddenly it's cos baby has had an unscheduled early morning sleep my sister had her up last night listening to Wham! but any time she might surface now

Listening to Wham?? Poor child will be scarred for life

Sorry to hear about your Dad, really hope you can sell your house soon and get yourself settled

It's wonderful to hear from you, and of course you fit into this thread - anyone's welcome we're not always BM-bashing, honest

Greece certainly is tempting, it'll cost me far more than £440 to go to Ingoldmells for a week....

OMG, I dont come on for a week and this thread goes haywire. All my friends are having such a bad time. NAAM, so shocked to hear about DSD after things were going so well with her. I know it is so hard to want to carry on when things like this happen, but please dont throw it all away, like Squirrel said, it isnt too late for her to change. We all know how much you love DP and how much he loves you. Please dont throw that away otherwise DSD would have won. Greece however does sound like a good idea, or at least some time away on your own seems like a good idea, unless you have any girly friends you can go away with?

Great to see you Ninah, long time no see, I do hope that things start moving and getting better for you.

Naam, I am back to bug you!

Ninah, I am so sorry things are still really difficult for you, hope the house is sold soon and you can move on. I am also sad to hear about your Dad {hug}.

Its still really good to hear from you though and you do still belong here. Once a nutty step-mum - always a nutty step-mum.

Naam?

I'm here bugging myself!

That's made me smile squirrel, thank you

Hello FANC I really don't know what to do, I'm just taking one day at a time and hoping I'll feel better soon

Spoke to DP at lunchtime, he's in floods of tears bless him. I don't know what to say to him, he keeps saying he doesn't want to lose me but atm I just can't promise him it's not going to happen

Really don't want to go home tonight but I've got nowhere else to go, and anyway DP has to go to work at 5 so I have to be there to get dsd off to school

What has been said to dsd?

Has she been told how out-of-order she was?

Yes, he has told her and to be fair she has apologised to both of us separately. He told her again yesterday that I'm really hurt and it's going to take time for the hurt to go away, she just said again how sorry she was

NAAM I probably have missed a lot of the thread as only read quickly through it, but surely there is nothing that has happened that can't change and only get better? DP and you are so right together, you cant let your DSD's nasty attitude ruin what you have.

I think you have to give it another try, I know its hard, bloody hard.

She has said sorry, its not like she doesn't care. I don't quite know how I would handle it tbh. Things are so different when they are not bio yours, you never know when you get home dsd may have done all of the housework and made a lovely dinner for you both to show how sorry she is.

Yes, I know, she is a teenager! Do they have many low flying pigs in your neck of the woods?

BTW got to go for half hour - got to do my workout or my 'fat-dance' as ds calls it (cheeky so and so)