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Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us? (Thread 3)

1099 replies

Squirrel3 · 03/05/2006 17:58

\link{http://www.win.tue.nl/math/eidma/champagne.jpg\Cheers!}

Sorry, but virtual champagne is compulsory! Grin

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
NotActuallyAMum · 26/06/2006 16:41

Oh, maybe not then......

I've got the football on the radio was going to fetch the telly out of the meeting room but thought that would a bit too cheeky!

Squirrel3 · 26/06/2006 16:42

I'm still waiting for a start date for this new job, can't relax until I know when I start. Maybe they wil let me know tomorrow [hopeful emoticon]

BTW I told them when we are going on holiday with the kids so the days are booked, no changing them (they were within the times BM said we could have the kids) anyway dp gets a phone call yesterday saying she has booked a holiday with the kids during the later part of our holiday with them and could we change ours! Told dp no I couldn't mess work around like that, they would just have to go home early and we could have a few days holiday on our own.

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Squirrel3 · 26/06/2006 16:44

Who is winning? I don't even know who is playing!

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NotActuallyAMum · 26/06/2006 16:48

Australia and Italy. It's not the same on the radio....

So you're going to get a few days away on your own?? That's wonderful, you soooooo deserve it

Squirrel3 · 26/06/2006 16:51

Don't think we will go away but it will be nice to have a few days to ourselves.

Anyway got to run, nice talking to you, I'll pop in tomorrow, byeeeeeee.

Where is FANC?

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NotActuallyAMum · 26/06/2006 16:55

Nice talking to you too

Think FANC is still away? She went last Sunday, think they've gone for 2 weeks

Hope everyone has a nice evening

Squirrel3 · 27/06/2006 09:03

Dp groveled, it turns out he was "Having a hard time seeing the strong, caring woman that he knows as somebody that has been a victim of such horrendous abuse, he admires me for coming through it the way I have", he was really apologetic.

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NotActuallyAMum · 27/06/2006 09:26

Hello squirrel

At least he's apologised and given you an explanation. How do you feel about it now?

Squirrel3 · 27/06/2006 09:32

He looked shocked, you could almost see the realisation on his face when it sunk in that these things happened to me!

I can understand why he was the way he was about it now, he had such a happy childhood to him its incomprehensible that somebody could do that to a child.

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NotActuallyAMum · 27/06/2006 09:43

Yes, I can kind of see where he's coming from too. Do you feel better about it now?

Squirrel3 · 27/06/2006 09:49

Yes I do, I probably won't see my father for another 5 years so it prob won't come up again until then. Unless he dies before then and I'll deal with that if and when it happens. You know what, I don't even know how old he is, don't know his birthday, I know nothing about him really except that he is my bio Father and he used to beat me when I was little...

Weird!...

But hey ho! Got more important things to worry about like, how do I get my ds off the sofa, stop him from watching kids TV and looking for a job?

And when is my start date for my new job?

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NotActuallyAMum · 27/06/2006 10:11

There's nothing wrong with watching kids TV

Think BM and her mum must have heard us yesterday....

NotActuallyAMum · 27/06/2006 10:12

Oops! Posted too early....

Glad you're feeling better about things

I take it you don't have a start date yet?

Squirrel3 · 27/06/2006 10:14

Why? What happened?

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Squirrel3 · 27/06/2006 10:28

Naam, don't keep me in suspense!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What happened?

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NotActuallyAMum · 27/06/2006 10:54

Sorry, this could be long...

dsd's nan phoned yesterday afternoon and spoke to DP, dsd was out, she was fine with him - just asked about dsd and said she'd like to speak to her. She also asked if dsd was still going up in August "seeing as you've made arrangements and you've got no alternative for dsd" DP told her she was coming with us, he said she was quite taken aback and said "but that's not fair on you - that's your holiday with your parents" to which DP said we were more than happy to take her with us, it's all arranged and it's not a problem. dsd phoned her back when she got home, she was OK with dsd too, she got a bit upset on the phone saying she missed her nan and the dogs. When she got off the phone we thought 'well it looks like she's going to make it up with her nan so that's good'

Her nan then phoned BM and said "dd is in a state you'd better ring her"

dsd had a brief conversation with BM, she told her she was happy with us and didn't want to go back, she wasn't on the phone for long but DP had to go to work whilst she was talking to her. BM said "do you really want to be there all night with NAAM?", dsd said "I'd rather be here with NAAM than there with you" sorry She was a bit upset when she got off the phone but we had a chat, she said her mum keeps saying "you're not happy there, they are not looking after you properly". When dsd got off the phone, she phoned her nan and said she had no right ringing her mum, she was only upset because she missed her and she shouldn't have involved her mum (I was secretly pleased that she did this, I was bloody annoyed at her nan)

BM text dsd this morning saying could she take her to school, which dsd let her do. I phoned dsd just before school started to make sure she was OK, she says she's fine and that her mum is just trying to make her go back there but she's told her again that she doesn't want to and she's happy with us

I just can't understand what BMs trying to do. She'll never get her back by trying to put words into her mouth and slagging us off. I really think that if she was nice to dsd she would see her - I don't think she'll ever go back - and I absolutely don't want her to either - but I do think she'd see her regularly. She actually said to her last night "you'd be a really nice person if it wasn't for your cocky attitude". Well for once I almost agree with her - dsd has got a cocky attitude. But she's a teenager fgs - haven't they all? It doesn't make her a bad person, she just needs reminding from time to time that her attitude needs to improve - again, don't they all?


I'll ring dsd again when she has her lunch just to make sure she's OK
NotActuallyAMum · 27/06/2006 10:56

Sorry squirrel I didn't mean to keep you waiting, it just took some explaining in between phone calls

Squirrel3 · 27/06/2006 11:19

Well it is a small step in the right direction.

Trying to see it from BM's side it must hurt when your dd tells you she would rather be with someone else, but her BM is going about it in totally the wrong way. If she could just open up a 'friendship' with her dd it would go a long way to healing the rift, slagging off her Dad and you is not the way to go about it, having said that I can understand why she is doing it, she must be hurting.

Maybe you could try to get dsd to see that (also it would give you alot of brownie points with everyone concerned). Make it clear to her that what ever she wants to do is fine by you, you love having her there, but you think it would be nice for her to have some kind of relationship with her Mum.

I'm not saying for you to push her into it, but I think it would be better for her long term if the rift between them can be healed a bit. Not saying she should go back to live ther either, just to have some kind of relationship with her Mum would be good.

Hope you don't think I am too, well you know, but I am speaking as a Mum myself.

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NotActuallyAMum · 27/06/2006 11:51

That's OK, I see where you're coming from

I just feel so frustrated about the whole thing. I've done nothing to BM, and I've only done what's right by dsd. I don't want to fall out with anyone - I'm not that kind of person. I just don't see why she can't stop all the bitterness and shouting, there's no need for it. DP and I have done nothing wrong we just want what's best for dsd. It's such a shame BM can't see that

DP is up now, just spoken to him. He's going to ring dsd in a bit. BM has phoned him 5 times this morning - to have yet another go at him no doubt

NotActuallyAMum · 27/06/2006 11:53

btw - have you seen this? . There are some cheeky BMs about but this one really does take the biscuit!

Squirrel3 · 27/06/2006 13:00

I understand where you are coming from too!

It must be so hard doing whats right for dsd all of the time but getting slagged off for it, but I suppose that is a part of beig a step-mum, it s crapola!!!!!

Yes, I did see that thread, I think the BM has a bloody cheek, there is no way I would take my step-kids little brother away with us on holiday, but it has crossed my mind that he may feel left out when they come to us for the weekend. On the otherhand he is not dp's son so why should we look after him. I don't think it would ever be a problem though, I don't think even my step-kids BM would be that cheeky!

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alligator · 27/06/2006 13:22

Afternoon all. Been too busy at work today. Ive had to go look at a DOS program nightmare!!

Squirrel3 · 27/06/2006 13:32

I still think its a cheek to expect you to work!

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alligator · 27/06/2006 13:34

you can say that again Squirel esp when its haivng to reserrect old programs that I havent got a clue about.

Squirrel3 · 27/06/2006 13:36

I'm sure you coped, you are a computer genius. Well compared to the rest of us you are!

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