ok, so i know this makes me an evil person...

[WhatAcow]

but i hate my step son! there, i said it. i need to say it so bad because i'm going to say it to him soon, and that just wouldnt be fair.

hes only bloody 6 for f's sake! well, 6 this month. how can any sane rational mature adult hate a 6 year old?

to be fair, i dont hate him all the time. just most of it.

i cant believe what a relief it is just to be saying this to someone anyone, even (and only because) its anonymous. i have been bottling this up for some time now, hoping it will get better and go away... but you know what? in my heart of hearts, i know that i am also hoping that HE will just bugger off and go away. and never come back.

there. so im a cow. as much of a cow as his own mum, which is really saying something, believe me.

what on earth am i going to do? nothing i guess. as usual. oh bum poo shit arse.

sorry.

Shame you didn't take the time to read the thread before posting.

I just read it and she's not a cow.. just pg, got 2 young kids and trying to welcome another child as her own. ds is 5 and can be hard work. I bet other people think he's a little gob shite.. Just do your best, and keep trying..

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Well HMo2 If you dont read the thread then you cant make a proper judgement because you are not in possession of the FACTS. If you cant be bothered to understand and learn what someone is going through in trying to deal with a situation then thats your problem. Jsut because you are in a situation doesnt mean that you ahve to tar all stepmums withthe same brush.

"he's sensitive and intelligent and essentially a very gregarious person who needs a lot of love, its just thet he behaves, not all the time, but often enough, like an obnoxious, spoilt, rude, little sod and its sometimes hard to see past that"

that to me sounds like someone is working hard to make the best of a situation which si difficult and stressful.

Next time I suggest you take a bit of time to read before jumping in with your prejudices

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I also haven't read the whole thread - read the begining and the last few posts. Even from reading just that I can see that the OP is struggling with how she feels. She doesn't, in fact, hate HIM. She hates his behaviour. She hates the fact that she can see that there is not a lot that she can do about it. She is also concerned how his behaviour affects her own children.

She posted here for support and help. Not condemnation.

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No said that you cant post what you call your opinions all we are saying is taht you take a bit of time to read wha the poster has sid before jumping in and ranting. being a stepparent is not easy at all and most struggle to do their very best by their stepkids and all they get is abuse from all sides regardless of what they do.
Just cos one kid is there first doesnt mean that he takes priority. All kids are equal and the op si doing her best to treat them all equally but is struggling and came here for some advise.

But then once again its condemn the wicked stepmother for daring to moan or complain in anyway about her lot. Heaven forbid that we might have feelings or anything.

I was going to say that it did seem to "ring bells" with you. I am sorry for your DD and what she is going through. These situations are difficult. And although the adults make the choices it is always the children that suffer. Does your DD's Dad see her at all?

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Haven't read whole thread so don't know if it has been mentioned that he may be feeling very jealous of the other children that get to live with his dad when he doesn't. I imagine that would be tough to cope with as a child.

Whatacow I feel for you. I have often said that I would not be able to take on anyone with "baggage" as in children and I commend anyone that does. I have 3 children who I adore but I can honestly say I don't like other people's children that much. You sound like you are really trying and I think he is very lucky to have you as a stepmum. My mum died when I was 3 and my dad remarried when I was 8 and then he died when I was 9 and I was left with my stepmum. I know she tried her best in the circumstances and she fed/clothed me etc but there was a difference between me and my two stepbrothers. As a child it was hard but as an adult I completely understand and I admire her for the strength it had to take to raise a child that is not yours and that you didn't plan on. No matter what anybody says or what their best intentions are, there is a special bond between mother and child that is different to other relationships no matter how hard you try. Keep going and make your way through this difficult phase of his life. Hopefully with your persistance and your dh's support it will all come together.

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happymumof2 i can see why this post annoyed you. dont look at stepmum ones again eh, too upsetting for you

whatacow, and i dont think you are by the way, if its any consolation ive got a 6 year old nephew and i think hes a pain in the butt and feel awful to say i dont particularly like him much. i dont see him much so could be the problem as i dont feel 'close' to him, unlike my neices from down the road who i see a lot. i think your pregnancy isnt helping at the moment with your emotions and from your posts youve put on here youre a very loving step mummy whos finding it all a bit tough at the moment.good luck

what a cow, please don't feel bad, i can understand you'r situation. my dsd is now 15 and is causing no end of trouble. point out to your dp that by not addressing his behaviour will only store up more probs in the future