What's been your most satisfying sporner moment?

[ThanksItsUncleFranks]

Not necessarily the most spectacular but the most satisfying. Mine was when I was a teenager. I had a tingle in the philtrum above my lip that I could tell a zit was brewing in there. Outwardly there was no sign of it - the skin looked perfectly normal. It was the kind of vague unformed early zit pain that, nine times out of ten, if you squeezed it at that point all it would do would inflame the skin and make the eventual spot worse. Anyway on this occasion, despite knowing that, I squeezed the area anyway and instantly this perfect streak of pus leapt out of my skin and splattered across the bathroom mirror. And that was it done. No sign it had ever been there. No irritated skin. No residual soreness. Just a very polite zit that burst cleanly at the first prompting.

God I love this thread!

I once took my cat to the vet because I thought he had been shot, turns out it was perfectly round abscess that had popped. Only £400 to find that out!

I posted about this on here (with photo!) before. I have the weirdest tiny and deep belly button - I do clean it but I can't get to the bottom of it. It gets infected and sore (and smelly) sometimes and I spray it with antifungal spray and it clears up. One time was particularly sore and I sprayed very close and the force pushed out this inch long twisty, knarled stick of solid, smelly, wet, white/yellow stuff that fell on the floor. So gross. Enjoyed it immensely.

My ex used to get amazing weird beard hairs along his jawline that were thick as pine needles. He didn't like me going at them but he let me, as a treat. There'd be a tell tale lump and with a little scratch and pop, these dark, thick, slimy hairs would slip out accompanied by some thick white pus. I knew to stop squeezing when there was blood!

Same ex had an accident with a grinder as a teen and the bits of glass only started to come out of his knuckle in his late 30s. Selfish git wouldn't let me at him with tweezers and a scalpel blade...insisted on professional help and an op under local. Hence 'ex' 😆

Thought of another. I had really bad glandular fever once and was hospitalised. Just when I was about to enter my home after being discharged, I sniffed (nose had been blocked the entire time) and something dropped into my throat. I spat it out and it was a huge phlegmy cast of my nose and throat, a mixture of clear, yellow and green thick slime shot through with blood spots. I could suddenly breath and it felt like a physical expelling of the illness. I revisited it in it's resting place in the flower bed then buried it before a creature got hold of it and started the next zoonotic disease.

Aaaaah ,.. bliss.

I am amongst my people

30 years ago now I had tonsillitis. My sinuses filled up with what felt like concrete. felt like my head would burst. One day (strangely in a motorway service station toilet) I felt like things might give a little. I held one nostril closed and sucked through the other with all my might. A little more shift, more sucking, more give, until finally a big crack and the sense of movement inside my head, and a big wad of 'something' landed in my mouth. Obviously I spat it out into the sink for inspection (there was no-one else in the toilet). It was a huge meaty gristly lump. I honestly wondered if I'd managed to remove my own adenoid. I could instantly breathe through that nostril again and the relief was immense.

A couple of days later I managed the same thing on the other side. It was awesome.

I had a black dot on my pubic mound. Scratched it open and pulled out a long black hair about 2-inches long, all crinkly from being curled up!

Popped a sebaceous cyst the size of a pea on the back of my earlobe today. Lovely. I say popped, but in fact I just pulled off the black punctum-dot in the centre and lots of stuff oozed out. Lovely.

Lots of spots over the years that have hit the mirror with a satisfying splat! Including a nasty one where, when I squeezed, I felt the pus shooting along under the skin before it exploded out the top! I also had one that throbbed when I bent down. That one gave a mighty good splat. I can't decide if I like the splat sounds or the popping sounds best!

I used to get cystic acne on my chin, just one large pea-sized cyst at a time. I could never pop them, I guess they were too deep, but they did create pressure and I was able to get some good splats off the tops. I have numerous scars on my chin, but it was so worth it!

I've also blown some truly marvellous lengths of snot out of my nose in the mornings lately.

A few years ago, I had what I thought was a spot just in my hairline above my forehead. I poked and prodded for weeks but nothing happened. All I did was irritate it and cause a scab. I could feel the pressure under the skin.

One morning I was about to head out for a meeting, and had a last minute poke. Lifted the scab and it burst onto the mirror. I squeezed and soooo much thick pus came out! It was immensely satisfying but I went to my meeting thinking they would see the huge crater in my hairline.

This is pure poetry. Ahh!

I have a few!

This is going back a good few years now, but it’s always stayed with me. Once time I went swimming (and I hadn’t been swimming for years!) and afterwards I lost the hearing in my right ear thanks to the water. After a few days it hadn’t alleviated and so it started to do my head in I decided to have a fiddle and became aware of something in there! On further investigation (and yes I know it’s not clever!) I decided to use a metal dental tool to see if I could remove whatever it was in my ear after a Kirby didn’t do much. Well I was digging for few minutes before I hit gold! Out I pulled them most GIGANTIC piece of wax, and this thing was dark and the size and shape of a cashew nut. I had no idea it was in there and I didn’t even know I must have gone mostly deaf in that ear because as soon as this thing came out the sense of relief and the immediate clarity in my hearing was like an out of body experience!! I just sat for ages afterwards admiring this thing and marvelling in the experience.

it’s a shame it was several old phones ago now and I don’t have the photos any more, but what a moment in life!!

sadly never to have been repeated 😆

there was another time where I had an awful ear infection in the other ear…god it was sore but when the drum perforated although the relief was amazing, I lost my hearing.

in the following days I had to keep putting balls of cotton wool in my ear to help clear up the horrible infection as it was just dripping out my ear as I was SO choked up!

for a good few nights I would plug up the ear and lie on that side, but I would wake up and the cotton ball was totally soaked through and my pillow would get wet as I’d produced so much whatever the fuck it was. So gross, but so satisfying!

Last week I accidentally brought the car boot down on my scalp which hurt like buggery. No blood but sore for ages and then very tender and bruised feeling if I touched the hurt area. This morning I touched my hair and noticed that the affected part of my scalp wasn't particularly painful anymore but was actually bulging. Managed to angle mirrors to have a look and see that there's now a slightly raised lump about two inches diameter - and it has a head! (A head on my head.) Squeezed it gingerly - ouch - and a great bit skoosh of margarine-coloured gunk came out, followed by bloody water. Probably a couple of teaspoons of matter in all.

Corrr

Oh my. I wish I had witnessed that.

Squeezing a piece of metal out of the thumb of a really quite famous person.

Do cat ones count? We had a tom cat (spayed)who fancied himself as cock of the walk. He came home one day and had a wound on his temple. We were skint students and he was awful to get in his carrier so I thought id watch and wait bathing it in salt water. I dug him out from under the bed to bathe it and there was a lump so I applied gentle pressure and a chunk of claw shot out with a solid lump of green pus.
Other older cat had a cyst, she was about 17 and wouldn't cope with vets. She was lying in front of the fire and licked it. A river of yellow and green puthered out. Dh and dd ran out boaking. The poor cat was lying there with that eeeech face they do when there's something stinky. It was both vile and marvelous. Soaked the poor cat and the blanket she was on. Sure she blamed me.

I found a lump on the edge of a guinea pig's ear. I took him to the vet because I thought it could be cancer. No, it was just a spot and the vet squeezed it out. She said it might come back...
...it did! But this time I was going to do the squeezing. The vet said that would be OK. I did squeeze it, and it came out whole, sac and all. He had a bit of a raggedy ear afterwards but it didn't return again.

I too have had a verruca come away root & all. That was after several attempts to kill it with cryotherapy, all failed. It happened after I'd spent the day at the beach, so in salt water, then running about on sand. Had a bath later on and it all just peeled away, that was very satisfying.

Years ago my Dh had what what i can only describe as a massive blackhead. It was kinda in his locks so didn’t see it for ages. It was really big. He’s a oh leave it be person. I’m not! Must have bribed him with something and he let me at it. I squeezed and squeezed and I swear it was like a small snake coming out of his face. It was brown and urgh..rotten but my god so satisfying. He still has a hole there now. He sometimes lets me at the blackheads on his back. He’s never had one that big again though!

I had keyhole surgery and one incision just wouldn't fully heal. It was itchy, and would heal then open up a tiny bit and have a bit of gunk come out, and repeat. It went on for months.

I have a tendency to not dissolve dissolvable sutures for some reason, and I've had the little knots come out of surgical scars before, so I thought that's what it was.

I was sitting on the sofa late one evening and it was really itching, and I had my sewing kit next to me, so I prodded it with a needle, and could feel something hard. I poked a bit and a little bit of something came out, but I could tell there was more. The hole was only a couple of mm wide, but I could feel something right at the surface. I got tweezers and managed to grip onto something and pulled, it was stuck, I kept pulling and it started to slowly stretch open as a blob of glue the size of a pea came out! It was all pointy and rough, no wonder it had itched, the hole sprang closed again and it healed up like nothing had ever happened!

The body is amazing. I bet that was really, really satisfying!

It was, it was also a bit alarming as I wasn't sure what I had hold of and if it was supposed to be there! 😂

When I was a child I trapped my thumb in the back door. It was so painful and became infected. The whole area under my nail turned to green pus and around the base of the nail was throbbing red and swollen. Eventually it burst and the amount of pus that drained out was insane. The relief was instant as it was so painful and I was both horrified and fascinate by this stream of pus. I guess maybe on reflection my mum should probably have taken me to a doctor before it got to that point but I had a neglectful childhood so I’m not entirely sure what is normal.

Sorry to hear that about your childhood @hopefulcandidate. I’m not sure being taken to a doctor would have been less painful though, depending on your age. I also got my thumb shut in a door aged about 3 (so 1975) and my nail was black and very sore. My DM took me to our local hospital where a brusque doctor took a pair of tweezers and ripped my nail off without any anaesthetic. It was very painful, didn’t encourage a feeling of trust with doctors or hospitals in general, and I didn’t get the satisfaction of rivers of pus!

Good grief, that's horrendous! I'm not sure that's normal either!

My DM had her thumb shut in the door of a tube train in the 50s and was taken to the Dr with a black and very painful nail - she vividly remembers him heating up a paperclip in a flame, and then using it to burn a hole through her thumbnail and the blood shooting out as the pressure was released!

When I was abroad, I got a maggot living in my toe. I think I was meant to do something else, but I just popped it and out it came. That one was quietly horrifying and I kind of blanked it out straight after 🤣.

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You might have won the thread …

Christ! That was used as torture in the old days. I remember it in the London Dungeon when i was a kid! Must have been agony!