What's been your most satisfying sporner moment?

[ThanksItsUncleFranks]

Not necessarily the most spectacular but the most satisfying. Mine was when I was a teenager. I had a tingle in the philtrum above my lip that I could tell a zit was brewing in there. Outwardly there was no sign of it - the skin looked perfectly normal. It was the kind of vague unformed early zit pain that, nine times out of ten, if you squeezed it at that point all it would do would inflame the skin and make the eventual spot worse. Anyway on this occasion, despite knowing that, I squeezed the area anyway and instantly this perfect streak of pus leapt out of my skin and splattered across the bathroom mirror. And that was it done. No sign it had ever been there. No irritated skin. No residual soreness. Just a very polite zit that burst cleanly at the first prompting.

@HeartandSeoul absolutely I second your wonderful writing skills

When I was a teenager I was a persistent picker:

Had a massive spot on my chin crease below my lower lip. It got infected and my whole chin and lower lip were swelling up.

When I squeezed it, I had to put my fingers behind it in my mouth so I could push from behind. The amount of green and yellow pus that came out was astonishing, and then pulling the cord out was fantastic! I still have a scar.

Had another one between my eyebrows with 3 heads. So bloody painful but so bloody satisfying!

Every 8-10 years, I get a spot at the base of my knee. When I squeeze it, thick lumpy white stuff comes out. It happened the first time when I was a kid and I'd convinced myself I'd imagined it.....so imagine my absolute joy when it happened again!

Just recently, I had a really sore spot at the top of my tragus where it joins back to your face. Nothing happened despite the pain.
For ages, I could feel a lump there and I kept squeezing it until one day, I squeezed it when I was driving and a perfect little lump popped out making a weird pop noise. It was so satisfying!

This thread is something else but I've been struck by the amazing similes. So much so I've listed them all.

My favourites are 'coir matting' and 'cracking though a crème brûlée crust'
Like a miniature pool noodle
Like a thin stringy worm
Like a tiny black tree coming out my foot
Like a peppercorn
Like a perfect round pearl
Like coir matting
Like something out of ghostbusters
The colour of a hi vis vest
Like a pair of amazing horns
Shot out like a missile
Like the size of a mini egg
Like a piece of cooked macaroni
Like a bit of rubber tubing
Like a marble
Like a half submerged golf ball
Like squeezing a pizza dough ball
Popped like a firework
Popped out like a baked bean
Like my nostril had given birth
Like mashed potato
Like Stilton
Like cracking though a crème brûlée crust
Chunks like leather
Like a third boob

@getahhtmapub I need to reread the thread now to relish these wonders once again!

@getahhtmapub sounds like either a poem or a rather fantastic t-shirt!

The skin on the outside of the knobbly ankle bit had swollen up so much it reflected light almost like a mirror. There was no pain. I hadn't injured it. There was no noticeable head. Fascinated by it I gave it a squeeze and an inch long pus string came out of it followed by the very smallest amount of clear fluid. In the morning my ankle was back to normal - bony! Where the fluid went I don't know.

I too am a sporner. I think it started when I was 8 years old . I was in school and there was a painful throbbing pea sized lump in my knicker line. I remember squeezing it in class and the blissful pleasure of it finally bursting with a sudden squirting of hot liquid. I went to the bathroom and finished squeezing a jet of stinky fluid out. The relief was heavenly.
20 years later I became a surgeon . I have lanced huge abscesses.
Memorable occasions . As an ED junior doctor once lanced an infected sebaceous cyst under local anaesthetic . Unfortunately I had put some of the local into the cyst and it became pressurized and a punctum of the foulest smelling bloody pus shot out at speed hitting me in the face and spraying into my hair. I smelt horrific for the rest of the shift . Grim… never made that mistake again.

Another memory more recently is the time when I undid the dressings on a foot of an old person where the gangrenous toes had been allowed to dry out . I gave the toes a little wiggle and twist and three black toes came off in my hand leaving lovely clean pink skin underneath. The owner of the foot was very pleased.

When I was about 6 - so over 50 years ago, I had a mild earache.

I went to bed but later on I awoke having heard an explosion. I got up and ran to my Mum asking what the big noisy bang was.

Turns out it was a boil in my ear which burst, leaving my pillow covered in pus and blood.

Unfortunately I had put some of the local into the cyst and it became pressurized and a punctum of the foulest smelling bloody pus shot out at speed hitting me in the face and spraying into my hair. I smelt horrific for the rest of the shift

Sounds worth it though for the experience!

An amazing one, but I couldn't see it and probably not so.much fun for the other people.I had a gold tooth, but it wasn't healing (in.the days when when you were pregnant you got as much dental work as possible for free) Couldn't have x ray because pregnant so dentist drilled down into it. There was a fountain of pus all over her goggles and scrubs and hair. Immediate relief but the most atrocious stink (and taste). The nurse turned and threw up in the sink.

Ok, thread closed. No one’s
going to top the falling-off toes.

This is the best thread I've ever read. Thank you all for sharing your precious memories.

Quite.

This thread makes me feel queasy but I can’t stop..

You know it’s a keeper of a story when you’ve made a nurse puke 😁 @Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride

Best. Thread. EVER.

The end.

Surely this thread deserves a place in Classics? Pure poetry! and a deeply satisfying read.

My contribution is Grandma’s Pore of Winer.

When I visited my elderly grandmother she used to encourage me to squeeze the blackheads on her back. She was a sporner, I was a sporner, it was all good.

One day she said that she had felt a spot in her ear, under her hearing aid. Well, we removed the hearing aid to reveal a pore of winer of truly epic proportions. We were, as any sporner can imagine, absolutely thrilled. These take years to grow, a bit like pearls, it was a rare thing of beauty. Dark brown in colour, circular, slightly raised and about the size of an eye pupil it was begging to be excised.

Now, I didn’t have the obligatory spooner kit to hand as it was well before the days of being able to get that stuff but we made do with several trusty hair grips and a selection of darning needles, all appropriately sterilised in boiling water.

If I’d have had access to more sporn, I probably would have taken a different approach through circling the PoW first and loosening from the skin. However I was relatively inexperienced and when I wasn’t able to pop it out, had to take a different tack.

I had to dig it out. My goodness that thing just went on forever. Firstly the really hard dry top which had to be removed with the darning needles and literally needed levering out in parts. Then the more malleable centre part which was mainly removed with the hair grips and finally a lovely white worm. As each bit was removed, we placed it on a tissue, reverently examined it and decided the next steps, it left a glorious clean hole in her ear.

i fondly treasure that memory of being in her kitchen, and bonding over sporn and her amazing PoW.

What a beautiful bonding moment. My husband used to let me pick at his forehead when we were young and in love. Won't let me near them now! Fond memories

@TheOnlyAletheia what a lovely memory to have with your Gma! Thankyou for sharing the glorious details. Just wish my son was as enthused about me digging around in his ear…..

I was actually drooling as I read your account of the excavation.

My six year old still has patches of yellow scabby cradle cap on his head. When he's asleep I scrape and pick it off, it just peels away (sometimes taking some hair with it!) Oooh I love it.

Amazing story, @TheOnlyAletheia though I got acronym confusion at the end and wondered why your grandma had a prisoner of war in her kitchen.

😭