What's been your most satisfying sporner moment?

[ThanksItsUncleFranks]

Not necessarily the most spectacular but the most satisfying. Mine was when I was a teenager. I had a tingle in the philtrum above my lip that I could tell a zit was brewing in there. Outwardly there was no sign of it - the skin looked perfectly normal. It was the kind of vague unformed early zit pain that, nine times out of ten, if you squeezed it at that point all it would do would inflame the skin and make the eventual spot worse. Anyway on this occasion, despite knowing that, I squeezed the area anyway and instantly this perfect streak of pus leapt out of my skin and splattered across the bathroom mirror. And that was it done. No sign it had ever been there. No irritated skin. No residual soreness. Just a very polite zit that burst cleanly at the first prompting.

After two weeks of UTI symptoms and antibiotics, I wasn't improving, so the GP sent me up to the hospital. A blood test revealed a CRP level of over 450 (normally 0-5), and I was admitted for tests. A CT scan showed my left kidney was the size of a rugby ball. It drained 2.5 litres of pus before being surgically removed. The urology consultant asked permission to present my case to his next conference because he'd never seen anything like it!

I quite often get inflamed, sore, purplish boils on my inner thighs. They start small and grow for days.

One day I actually had to ring in sick to work with it as it was too painful to walk (chub rub 😒), I sat on the toilet, looked down and it was GLOWING!

I literally placed my hand next to it to feel the heat coming from it and it popped like a firework!

It was filled with blood, yellow and green puss and smelled so bad... but my god... the relief!

I sat there for ages wiping up never ending puss with toilet roll, half feeling sick at the colour and half thrilled I caught it before it popped without me seeing 😅

I had one like this but it exploded when I was in a pub toilet. I had to text DH from the stall to tell him I might be a while. 🙈 Thankfully there was another stall for people to use while I was busy.

I had sporner envy when a colleague reminisced about a teenage spot that almost gave him whiplash the pop was so violent.

This is an excellent thread! I have a couple to share also x

1.) Id caught a Verruca as a child at about 11 and no matter what we tried I just couldn't get rid of it. When I was about 19 I went to download festival which can be super muddy and lots of waking. After a couple of days of walking around in damp wellies, I was flicking at it in the tent and the whole verruca just peeled out of my foot leaving a massive hole. I couldn't believe how deep it was and how strange it looked.

2.) I had an extremely large spot (possibly an abscess) on my pubic area it was so sore and angry looking, puce in colour. I was laying in the bath and asked dh to take a look. He squeezed and this big yellow ribbon of pus soared through the air into his face and eyes god it was vile! We still talk about it years later, he was thoroughly traumatised.

3.) very recently I had a large mole removed leaving 8 dissolvable stitches. The wound was healing really well but after a week or so the skin around the stitches was getting extremely irritated. The stitches shows no sign of dissolving and by two weeks post surgery the skin was so so sore and red and I was getting concerned that the stitches may become infected. I was on holiday at the time so saw a nurse in out of hours who explained she wouldn't be able to take them out there and then but see my GP when I was home in a weeks time to have them taken out. I left it a couple of days but it was just getting worse so I decided to take matters into my own hands and properly sterilised a pair of tweezers and nail clippers. I pulled on the little knot on the stitch with the tweezers and gently snipped the stitch so that I could pull each stitch out in one. It was gross but satisfying feeling them come out, a few of them had gunk on and I'm convinced I would've ended up with an infection. Probably a silly thing to do but the actual incision itself was healed so there was no reason to keep them in. The redness and irritation settled down within a matter of hours and it's all healed up really nicely. Usually I would've visited my GP but just couldn't wait a week with how sore it all was.

Sorry, can I just check: did they remove a kidney 😳 or just a cyst from it?

The whole thing, once deflated. It was defunct 🙂

A pilar cyst on my scalp which got infected and became an angry red ball of fire (not that I could see it). Absolute agony all morning in the office, shooting pains down to my jawline, couldn’t think of anything else. Went to a department meeting and while someone was presenting, I absentmindedly touched the cyst and it popped out like a baked bean on my finger, whole and perfect. The pain instantly stopped but I was so thrilled with the cyst itself I showed the colleague next to me. She made a polite sound and I was so happy it was several hours later before I realised she’d probably gone home to tell her husband I was a lunatic.

This thread really should be in Classics!

Am infected bug bite. Ds (then about 9) walked in on me squeezing it and immediately asked if wanted him to film it. We got three videos, as each time we stopped it became apparent there was more.

Dh had been complaining for ages about a pain in his foot. There was the tiniest little grey speck which eventually he let me dig into. I went deep into his foot, cutting away layers of skin. It turned out to be a hair splinter which I'd only heard about from sporner's corner. My satisfaction at pulling out the hair was only equalled by the relief dh felt at no longer feeling like he was walking on glass.

I had a HUGE non productive spot in between my eyebrows. It was so big I looked like I was growing a horn. The day it finally popped with a huge crack and green pus splattering across the mirror was amazing.

This is better than sex

My best was after a recent sinus infection when I blew a marble sized ball of pinky yellow snot out of my nose, it honestly felt like my nostril had given birth. The relief was massive and I could breathe again which was an added bonus. But it pales into insignificance against DP's. He'd had an op for sinus problems and was on steriods that dried everything up. He blew his nose, sighed in relief and then gasped as he realised what he had birthed - showed me his hanky that had a bullet shape (and size) of dried grey-green snot. It was truly impressive.

This is my origin story!

I was eight years old on holiday in Ireland. We went to visit a wealthy elderly relative who lived in a huge house on top of a hill. Whilst using their downstairs toilet and marvelling at the fact it had thick flocked wallpaper I idly put my finger in the folds of my ear lobe. As I moved my finger round I felt a crack and extracted a piece of curved skin the exact shape of my earlobe. It was around six centimetres long, see through, stiff and just amazing! I was convinced I was some kind of snake and put the skin in my pocket to show my brother and sister later. When we were leaving I excitedly put my hand into my pocket and the skin had shattered. I remember it like it was yesterday and I’ve loved picking at things ever since.

DS2 had the worst cradle cap known to man my GP. It was in his wee ears, right down to his nose. We had a mild steroid cream for that if it looked like it was getting sore. For his head I slathered him in olive oil, and would pick and peel it off while I BF him, using a fine comb.

It cleared in time to reveal beautiful skin and I can confirm he has HUGE hair. Thick and wavy.

We had a horse once with a jaw abscess
The vet arrived and said he needed some help. Two of us practically fought each other to get to be first and the vet was "you WANT to watch this?!"
Yes. Yes we do, now move over

I've also told this story on here before but it was so good. I had a really bad bout of flu when I was about 9. Really bad sinus pain and pressure. About a month later I bent over to pick up my violin case and felt/heard something click in my face, a huge release of pressure and something akin in texture to a jelly baby emerged from my nostril. Green, solid. I hastily wrapped it in a tissue and revisited it for a few days.

in reverse order:

3- An ingrown hair that ran down the front of my shin. Was about 2 inches long when I squeezed it out.

2- I had a really tender spot at the end of my nose which just wouldn’t come to a head- a lurker, if you will. Got fed up with it and gave it a gentle squeeze, only for a nose hair to pop out! It had grown right through the fleshy part of my nostril and out the other side.

1- DH had a lump on his waist, just where a belt or waistband would rub. Upon closer inspection I could see it was a pore that was all stretched out. He eventually let me squeeze it, producing an ingrown hair and white, stinky gunk. I was walking on clouds for days afterwards.

Ive found my people 😂

😂

DH had a terribly infected sebaceous cyst in his back. He was taking antibiotics till it calmed down enough to remove. One morning after his shower he brushed his teeth. As he bent over to spit into the sink there was a crack as the skin on his back split across the cyst. The contents of the infected sack were splattered across the ceiling! It was the most disgusting,beautiful event of our marriage

I have a little hole on my nose, just to the side of the ridge so basically right in the middle. Whenever I squeeze it I get a little white worm come out. I’ve had it for at least 20 years. Don’t know what it is, can’t get rid of it, but although I like the worm, ivkibd of wish it wasn’t there. I’m sure people look at it and wonder why I have a hole on my nose.

One day I noticed Dcat had a huge lump on her back, seemingly grown overnight. I shaved off the fur around it to take a closer look and it had a head..

One hot flannel later and it started to erupt. I was there for about half an hour as the different layers revealed themselves. First yellow, then green, then pink- seemingly endless pus as Dcat was delighted with the events as she clearly felt immediate relief!

I remember seeing what looked like a little splinter just poking out of the tip of my nose. Eventually found some tweezers and pulled and a teardrop shaped, hard orange bead came out. I was only a teenager and so shocked, especially by how satisfying it was. It left a big hole in the end of my nose. 20 years on and I still think about it.

Best. Thread. Ever.

I have too many to mention, but a couple that immediately spring to mind...
My ex husband used to have the best ingrown hairs. The longest one I ever dug out of his face was about 9 inches long! Literally the only thing I ever missed about him.
The other was just a few weeks ago. I had an uncomfortable feeling all day my knickers, went home and had a look (camera phones are awesome) And right by my labia was a massive dark red/purple patch. When I gently felt it, and around it, it was at least as big as a marble. Had a squeeze, it was agony, but saw the colour had changed. So got brave and gave it a bloody hard squeeze through the pain. A really hard white lump the size of a small pea shot out. Perfectly round. It was amazing! And a lot of blood. I was so disappointed when it cleared straight up and didn't come back.