The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

G, this first one's for you, if you happen to be reading this thread!

I had a humdinger of a spot in my ear one time when I was at school (think it was fourth year of senior school in old money). Bloody thing wouldn't budge and it hurt like hell. Sat next to my partner-in-sporn friend in the classroom and I turned to face her when the thing suddenly exploded and shot across approximately 6ft before hitting the wall (thank god no one else sat in front of me!). The pair of us collapsed in giggles and no-one else could make any sense of what we were trying to say. 😂

Several years later I was on holiday with (now) DH when I grew what appeared to be an extra head on my eye. It was so painful and after a few days of looking like Quasimodo with no sleep, we came home early from the holiday and went straight to A&E as it was the weekend.
Whilst sat waiting to be seen I had a handkerchief covering my eye, and just as they called my name I felt the most enormous sense of relief as I felt it burst. I was ushered in and the medics kept calling everyone else in to have a look as they'd never seen such a big stye. Definitely a bunch of sporners! 🤣
Put on antibiotics and had to wear a bloody eye patch, my pirate spell was not my most glamorous look! 🏴‍☠️

@serialthreadkiller that was chefs kiss

@serialthreadkiller its hilarious it popped just as they called your name!

I had covid this last week and for some unknown reason I went totally deaf in one ear. A total build up of gunk and boy was it sore. I got this spray bottle ear cleaner and after soaking my ear with oil for 2-3 hours I blasted the bugger out and gave ear birth to a group I'm calling the baked bean kids. Sweet blessed relief ❤️

That is glorious! I have my ears suctioned at the hospital many years ago and the nurse wouldn't let me look, and I am sad still some 20 years later, especially as she gasped a bit and I could hear again. I had tests for deafness before this, as they were so blocked!

When I had covid, and was in hospital on oxygen, it was delivered via nasal canula, and after several days, this caused an enormous build up of rock hard snot. I am just sorry I didn't take a picture.

The first poo I did after having a C-section. Hospital discharged me after 5 nights after I'd assured them that I thought a bowel movement was imminent. It wasn't. Ended up needing laxatives which took days to work. When they finally did I birthed the most glorious poo ever to grace the porcelain. Uniformly girthed from one end to the other, and so, so, so long. Also, very hard and solid, wouldn't flush. Ended up having to use a wire coat hanger to break it up so it would flush. The relief (that I'd finally pooed, and that it had finally disappeared past the U bend) was enormous. Nearly 17 years ago and I still think about it.

Mine was like a baseball. Same shape and density 😬

I just had a flashback to my first BM post-CS with DS2. Everything except the wire coathanger. I left it to soak overnight in our downstairs loo. It softened up enough overnight to flush the next morning. I’m never taking iron tablets and tramadol at the same time again. 😬

Not sure if this counts but I have IBS and some other issues and I sometimes suffer from trapped wind. Years ago I was at an all day work event involving an endless boring meeting around a big table. It went on all morning and all morning I felt more and more bloated and sore, like I was swelling up with discomfort. Finally it's time for the lunch break and I go out to the car park to walk about, get some fresh air and try to feel less rubbish. After a couple of minutes I get the first intimation that I was about to deflate so I quickly stride as far away from any other people as possible, which happened to mean I was standing on a verge by the carpark with my arse pointing at a farmer's field, and then it began and I did the longest fart of my life and probably many other lives too. It must have been fully 30 seconds of steady rumble while my stomach went down and the pain decreased and decreased to eventual blissful nothing. The smell was ungodly so I didn't hang around. I felt like I'd given birth to a nine pound air baby and I positively enjoyed the second half of that boring work day purely because I no longer felt so full of gas.

Ungodly 😀

Dear god this sounds so blissfully satisfying (I also suffer from horrendous bloating made worse by sitting during meetings).

My first poo after an emcs was the morning after I came home, my mum had to hold my hand & rub my back, it was like the natural birth I had never had. I felt like I was pushing out a cricket ball, I was mooing like I was in labour & crying, I wish I could have had an epidural for it.

Amazing 👏

@Firefly2009 OMG I had a similar experience when I was about 16 and went to a summer camp. The toilets were so disgusting I couldn't go so as soon as I got home I tried to go for a poo. Man, it was hard work and I started to panic as it just wouldn't come out. It was completely solid and sort of fibrous. Had to dig my nails in and pull (sorry😆) because I was terrified my mum would make me go to hospital. I'd say it was tennis-cricket ball sized so you've beaten me there!

There you go, never told anyone that so just told some randoms on t'internet 😳

@LemonCandle It's good that we are getting this off our chests 😂

I wish more people would comment on here

It's my favourite thread to get a notification of an update on 😆

This thread is my proudest achievement sorry son

🤣🤣🤣

Dear God I'm catching up 🤣🤣🤣

My father in law had a huge cyst that burst!! He let me have a squeeze....it was truly amazing! ( and smelly )

I like a good sporn pic.
My best ones were a drainage hole that was not stitched and left open to heal in its own after op to suck a load of different abscesses out of my peritoneal cavity. It produced yellow gunk for ages and was really fricking sore. The drainage bag was a sight to behold and the damn thing leaked and it stank.

Once pulled a long ingrown hair out my thigh. It kept going and going and was like a tight curl. I laid it down and looked at it for ages. I was so impressed.

DH has some sights to behold on his back. He lets me burst the good ones and I show him the tissue. I love the pop moment. Glorious.

Youngest child has a very waxy ear, every now and then he will have a massive globule of wax stuck to the side of his face or making its way out. Only one ear does this.

After a sinus drilling op, every six months or so or after a bad cold I get two oval shaped scabs the size of 5p exit my nostrils. Sheer relief when it happens. Don't know why it happens. Weird looking fuckers though, tend to have blood and snot on.

I’ve somehow not been on this thread since May 2021 even tho it’s on my watchlist so I’ve been catching up since last night, taken a while as even tho I love the sporn it also makes me feel a bit sick so had to take breaks 😅

last year I had a zit that actually maybe was a boil on the side of my boob (I get a lot of spots and blackheads and also little hair plugs on the sides of my boobs despite washing and not wearing the same bra all the time, any tips?) and it wouldn’t come to a head. Was raised and sort of purple. One night I had a good dig at it with no results, whacked some sudocrem and a plaster on it and went to bed. Got up, had my shower, was sat having my morning coffee and felt like it needed another attempt. It went.
it was DISGUSTING. My own spots don’t usually bother me but I felt so sick and the memory still grosses me out now. I think it was a combo of things - the fact that it was first thing in the morning so not fully woken up, the dark yellow thick pus (with a bit of blood at the end) and the fact that I actually felt it give under my fingers. Oh it was gross. Luckily it was a one and done type of thing because I didn’t even want to look at it after that, it really makes me feel sick to think about it, I took no joy in it at all even tho I usually would. I was actually about to go to the doctor for it when I managed to get it to pop and I probably should have really, luckily no ill effects.

Oh, I love it when you feel the thing give under your fingers. I think that's why it's so satisfying - the feeling of tension followed by the total release of bad stuff, the little mound under your finger going flat, and being able to see, feel and maybe even hear this thing disappearing. So satisfying! Didn't you at least feel better knowing that that things was no longer in your body and causing pain?