Could fostering be right for you?

[MaddyMumsnet]

Fostering is needed more than ever in the UK. Due to a shortage of local council foster carers, 1 in 5 children are moved more than 20 miles away from home, often meaning time away from their school, friends and wider family. Yet many people still assume fostering is only for certain types of families, or that you need a very specific lifestyle. The truth is, fostering looks different for different households, and you might be more suitable than you realise.

We've invited Linda Zieba, who fosters for her local council which is part of Fostering South West, to answer your questions about what fostering involves, who can foster, and how the process works. You might be wondering
– Who can foster, and what really matters when councils assess suitability?
– Can I foster if I work full-time, have children, or have other commitments?
– What types of fostering placements are there, and how much choice do carers have?
– What support is available, both financially and emotionally?
– How do I explore fostering without feeling pressured?
Ask your question below and Linda will answer. No question is too small – if it’s on your mind, it’s probably on someone else’s too.

About the Expert:
Linda Zieba has over 45 years of experience working with children. She began her teaching career in London in 1980 and moved to Gloucester in 2000. In 2008, following her divorce, Linda became a foster carer for teenagers while continuing to teach full-time and raising her daughter as a single parent. For the past 15 years, she has been fostering with her local council, providing short breaks, short-term placements, and emergency care.

💬 Post your question here and get expert advice on whether fostering could be right for you.
Everyone who posts on this thread with a question for Linda by the 17th of Jan, will be entered into a prize draw to win a £100 voucher. T&Cs apply.

What’s the typical age of children who need foster parents?

What happens at times where you want to go on holiday?

Do foster parents receive any emotional support or training?

I am disabled and walk with a stick. Would this affect whether I could foster or not?

I have an adult dependent disabled child who lives at home, I’d love to foster younger children (particularly with limited or delayed communication) would that be possible?

Can you foster if you have a flat and not a house - if you can offer a shared bedroom with your child ?

If I was to consider in the future, giving a short term home and support to a child in need, how much support would I get in terms of child trauma training, how much would I know about the child before they came to me, would I have 24/7 support at the end of the phone ?

What support would you get with a child who has had a lot of trauma in their life, and would you get a 1 to 1 personalised plan to help the child based on their age and trauma to help them adjust and trust a new adult carer in their life ?

How long do you have to be in a relationship/partnership/marriage with your partner to give an indication as to how you can give a stable home to a child ?
If this is not a deciding factor, how long is the process to be approved as a foster carer - has it changed in recent years - I knew a friend who tried for this with her husband and was never approved and she could have given a great home and stability to a child. (but that was 10 years ago)

I would be interested in short term fostering for a child whose parent is not able to care due to illness, and not a long term fostering placement where a child has experienced abuse or neglect - as I don't feel I have to correct training for this (yet) can I specify this - If I went ahead and I was accepted, I would like the right mindset and qualities - can you specify this when applying ?

What actual support is provided for families who foster?

I had a friend who fostered a few years back and they had a child placed with him who had high levels SEN and trauma-they were promised all sorts of things-social workers to support the existing family members as well as counselling for them but none of this ever happened. The placement broke down and it was awful-the family felt very let down by social care.

This is my worry about some placements - average adults who want to care are not social workers or mental health specialists - having a placement which does not work out is so damaging to an already vulnerable child.

It's a huge commitment, what support is given should the birth family try to make contact out of the permitted visiting time, what emotional support is given, how do you know a foster carer is ready for such a commitment and not actually looking at the financial stability of the foster care fees ?
Do you think the vetting fees are rigorous enough ?

I have two young children. If I were to foster, what safeguarding is in place for my own children if the foster child had behavioural issues?

There is a massive shortage of good foster carers, despite this giving them financial stability as long as they continue to be a good safe and patient carer- this should be the last resort and interventions with the family should be tried earlier but the social care system is on it's knees - what do you think is wrong with the system for this country to need an army of foster carers ??

I know several families with similar stories. The gap between what is promised and what happens is a chasm.

People should only go into fostering with the expectation that they will receive zero support, then if more is offered, that is a welcome surprise.

Are you able to foster and have pets, we have a dog.

There is a massive shortage of good foster carers, despite this giving them financial stability

Does it provide financial stability? What sort of pay do they actually receive? From speaking to friends that did it, I got the impression they were paid very little.

I would be interested in knowing that, Lynda-what financial support are you given when fostering?

💷 Weekly Money (per child)

1. Fostering Allowance (for the child)

👉 £150 – £300 per week

• This covers food, clothes, activities, travel, pocket money, etc.
• Older children and higher needs = higher amount
• This money is for the child, not your personal income

1. Fostering Fee / Carer Pay (your income)

👉 £100 – £400+ per week

• Paid by many agencies and some councils
• Depends on experience, training, and placement type
• Specialist placements can be much higher

What are your thoughts about private foster care agencies who can poach good foster carers from local authorities - leading to the local authorities then having less foster carers on their books and needing to go to much higher costing agency foster carers - this is one of the highest costs to most councils in the UK - having a unsustainable children's social care cost - it's a spiralling cost and needs to be addressed.

Is it suitable for.people who work?

From feedback I've gotten. There are so many appointments you have to attend it would be difficult to be working Nd be a foster parent.

Also what if we have kids already?

How old do own kids have to before you can foster.

I don’t think £100 a week fee would give anyone financial stability unless you are retired! That fee would probably disappear on sorting house wear and tear!

Does a foster child need to have their own bedroom, or can they share with a child already in the home ? Also why is the fostering allowance higher than than the fee - I don't spend £150 on my child in a week - and cannot think why this fee is so high - can this be spent on your household bills ? - Does a foster carer need to provide receipts for the allowance - if not would you think carers supplement their fee with it.

Also why would you work for your council - when an agency pays higher ?

UK Foster Carer Pay (Average)
🏠 With an Agency

• £450–£500 per week per child (standard placement)
• £550+ per week (additional needs)
• £800+ per week (parent & child / specialist)
• £900–£1,000+ per week (two children)

👉 This usually includes child allowance + carer fee 🏛️ With a Local Council

• £300–£450 per week per child
• Often allowance-focused, lower fees at entry level

No, that's what I was thinking!

The figures people are giving vary massively as well-if you are offered the lower end of each payment, you are not going to be financially secure.

Is fostering then something that only people who are already financially independent are able to do?!

I saw something on my local Facebook page recently saying that there weren't enough young foster carers and they wanted to encourage more of them. This thread explains why-if it pays so badly, what young person is able to do it!?