Could fostering be right for you?

[MaddyMumsnet]

Fostering is needed more than ever in the UK. Due to a shortage of local council foster carers, 1 in 5 children are moved more than 20 miles away from home, often meaning time away from their school, friends and wider family. Yet many people still assume fostering is only for certain types of families, or that you need a very specific lifestyle. The truth is, fostering looks different for different households, and you might be more suitable than you realise.

We've invited Linda Zieba, who fosters for her local council which is part of Fostering South West, to answer your questions about what fostering involves, who can foster, and how the process works. You might be wondering
– Who can foster, and what really matters when councils assess suitability?
– Can I foster if I work full-time, have children, or have other commitments?
– What types of fostering placements are there, and how much choice do carers have?
– What support is available, both financially and emotionally?
– How do I explore fostering without feeling pressured?
Ask your question below and Linda will answer. No question is too small – if it’s on your mind, it’s probably on someone else’s too.

About the Expert:
Linda Zieba has over 45 years of experience working with children. She began her teaching career in London in 1980 and moved to Gloucester in 2000. In 2008, following her divorce, Linda became a foster carer for teenagers while continuing to teach full-time and raising her daughter as a single parent. For the past 15 years, she has been fostering with her local council, providing short breaks, short-term placements, and emergency care.

💬 Post your question here and get expert advice on whether fostering could be right for you.
Everyone who posts on this thread with a question for Linda by the 17th of Jan, will be entered into a prize draw to win a £100 voucher. T&Cs apply.

Can you foster if you have never cared for children before?

I don’t have kids and would like to foster at some point but I’m worried I wouldn’t know best how to care for them.

Is support for the foster parents any better than that for adoptive parents? There has been a lot of news about how inadequate it is for adoptive parents so wondering if any different for fostering?

We would love to foster.

My dh was informally fostered as a teenager.
We are not white.
I was a teacher.
We have been great parents to our own children.
Our kids are over eighteen.
My mother used to foster.
We have a massive house with two spare rooms and a completely unused bathroom.

I have contacted Barnados. They never called me back.

I went to a meeting in the library about county council fostering. They did not contact me.

I’d love to foster but after being a back up carer for my friend when she fostered under emergency placement there’s no way I would - SS have absolutely no appreciation or empathy for foster carers

What support is available, both financially and emotionally?

It sounds like this is the question most people want to be answered, then!

And also, 'what happens when that promised support doesn't materialise?'

We are in a fortunate situation that we have spare bedrooms, and I am a teacher who is not currently working (so has lots of experience with children) so could look at doing this. However, speaking to friends and parents who have fostered over the last ten years, the support is non-existent, the pay extremely low and it has been an overall bad experience so it's unlikely we will. We are fortunate in that we own our house, but I do still need to 'get a job' of some kind to earn some money.

These children need the right support -after having a rough start in life which meant they needed looking after by another family - fostering would be right, if I had the right support from my local council - read their latest Childrens Social Care OFSTED report, join a support group for existing foster carers - but my question would be would I get a 1 to 1 with a social work team 24/7 - I would need to know I have support with the child - would not want to be left with a placement and being left to cope on my own.

I have a spare room, and would consider giving a youngster a roof, and emotional support and my experience whilst they needed it, but would want to know would be how the 'expenses' for the child are costed, does this cover a proportion of the household bills - or is just for food and clothing - if so - It's really high - I'd struggle to justify spending that on a child on clothing and bus fares. I'd need more than £100 basic fee also - how long has it been so low ?

I an on universal credit for a low income, but would consider giving a young teen a fostering placement, support and guidance to help them on their path through life, on a temporary basis, and maybe permanent, should the placement work out, how would this affect my universal credit ?

I'd need more than £100 basic fee also - how long has it been so low ?

Yes, if that's the payment, that is ridiculously low. Other posters have said 4x that-so which is it and why so much variation?

I suspect the reason that enough people foster is that it's paid very badly and there is very little support for you, the child and your existing children, once the child is in your home.

I will be reading the replies from Linda with interest though, and it would be useful to invite some social workers and other foster carers into the thread as well.

As I said earlier on the thread, my LA have been advertising on Facebook a lot for foster carers and that they want to encourage more young people. How could any young person afford to do this on £100 a week unless they had buckets of family money already. Have they seen the price of housing?!

Can you choose which type of fostering arrangements you sign up to provide ie short term rather than long term?

Maybe in the future - I am a natural carer, love being a mum, and once my DC's have grown and left would want to train to be a foster carer.
Can I opt for siblings and not singles as I think that would be better for them and the placement ?

I would not want an emergency placement, but would consider helping a vulnerable child - I feel I have a lot to give to emotionally help a child.
Would I be able to have a case history of the child to see if I can really help the child, as I feel I could help, but would not have the skills to help a child who has experienced SA or DV in the home.

Does the fee increase for an older child, or one who has had drug use issues, or has been violent to others in the past - and do you think an experienced foster carer receive the appropriate training and support.
I think sometimes an external residential placement is the only way for children with multiple issues with highly trained staff - I really hope that foster carers have the skillset to deal with the most traumatised children to give them the chance to rebuild their life.

I'd really like to use my parenting skills to help a youngster - but when I have seen social media posts of young girls age 11 and 12 looking more like 16 and 17, and young boys carrying knifes - I really would feel out of my depth with children who are already trying to be adults ahead of their time, or dangerous - what are your thoughts and advice about helping such children. I know that if intervention is not put in place, they could potentially change or loose their life as they don't seem to have had any boundaries for such a long time.
What are your thoughts about putting a child who does not want the support or want to change with a foster carer ?

Does the Council give any grants for home extensions to accommodate a foster child, I have a 3rd spare room which is tiny, and if I had some work on my property - partially funded by the local authority, I could offer a spare room which could be a young persons sanctuary.

I would genuinely consider if I can be able to earn enough to have a good life at home with the children - the fee does not sound like this would cover my outgoings at all - and how do I record the money as self employed earnings for tax purposes - does the Council help with this ?

My biggest worry about becoming a foster carer would be a placement breakdown - if the child was too much of a challenge and we had tried everything to make it work - the impact on the child - being rejected again.
What safeguards would be in place to match a child successfully with a carer ?

Would I get an allowance for a new bed and furniture - we have an unfurnished spare room - and did consider this a few of years ago - then covid hit and we did not progress our enquiry. We have the love and space but not the furniture.

Do you need to have a driving licence to become a foster carer?

lol at all the questions bout funding. You’re lucky to get your mileage covered to take a foster child to contact at a centre a 45 min drive from your house three times a week. Renovations and furniture?! lol lol lol

Really?

So, what funding/payments do you get as a foster carer? How does it work in practice?

What does the research say about how a foster carer’s own children are impacted by fostering?

@LittleDeeAndME all income from fostering is disregarded in relation to Universal Credit.

There’s barely enough money to pay the SW properly. I’m sure each council is different but my friend has had to fight tooth and nail for any expenses as they say everything should be covered by the paltry allowance. She went back to work part time as it’s not at all affordable and their initial suggestion was to take on more kids!!!

There’s barely enough money to pay the SW properly.

SW= social worker??