Could fostering be right for you?

[MaddyMumsnet]

Fostering is needed more than ever in the UK. Due to a shortage of local council foster carers, 1 in 5 children are moved more than 20 miles away from home, often meaning time away from their school, friends and wider family. Yet many people still assume fostering is only for certain types of families, or that you need a very specific lifestyle. The truth is, fostering looks different for different households, and you might be more suitable than you realise.

We've invited Linda Zieba, who fosters for her local council which is part of Fostering South West, to answer your questions about what fostering involves, who can foster, and how the process works. You might be wondering
– Who can foster, and what really matters when councils assess suitability?
– Can I foster if I work full-time, have children, or have other commitments?
– What types of fostering placements are there, and how much choice do carers have?
– What support is available, both financially and emotionally?
– How do I explore fostering without feeling pressured?
Ask your question below and Linda will answer. No question is too small – if it’s on your mind, it’s probably on someone else’s too.

About the Expert:
Linda Zieba has over 45 years of experience working with children. She began her teaching career in London in 1980 and moved to Gloucester in 2000. In 2008, following her divorce, Linda became a foster carer for teenagers while continuing to teach full-time and raising her daughter as a single parent. For the past 15 years, she has been fostering with her local council, providing short breaks, short-term placements, and emergency care.

💬 Post your question here and get expert advice on whether fostering could be right for you.
Everyone who posts on this thread with a question for Linda by the 17th of Jan, will be entered into a prize draw to win a £100 voucher. T&Cs apply.

I can only speak for my LA but we have quite a lot of initial training and then top ups with this sort of thing. I did a diploma but that wasn't compulsory. I believe the carers who are just registered for their grandchildren/nieces etc don't have to do as much but I'm not 100% on what they do.

We've had occasional days with mental health professionals along with first aid training of course. There are also support groups which meet occasionally with particular emphasis, such as baby care. Then there's more mundane stuff such as car seat safety etc.

Thank you. I think understanding and empathy is so important in this role. These children need this from their carers - when they may have not had this before.

How long does the process take on average, from applying, to being sucessful, and can you summarise what gives you the best chance of being sucessful - eg paediatric first aid, and child phycology, driving history (if you have points for speeding does this go against you ?)

A recent fosterwiki podcast gave some stats:
Last year 150,000 made enquiries into fostering.
8,000 went into assessment.
71% withdrew themselves after starting assessment.
1,700 passed panel and became carers.
1/3 quit within the first 12-18 months.

There is a lot to put people off doing it. At every stage.

My sister has recently passed panel and has experienced many frustrations already. Interestingly, my mum, brother and dad have all separately said to me that they think she is doing it for the wrong reasons (the money).
This is interesting to me because I have been a foster carer for 15 years now and I wonder if they all say the same thing about me. What other jobs do people say this about?
That's not my question for Linda :)
My question is, what advice do you have for carers that do not have a local support network to draw upon for babysitting, help etc?

Interestingly, my mum, brother and dad have all separately said to me that they think she is doing it for the wrong reasons (the money).

Most people do their jobs for the money.

Is that the problem? People don't think foster caring is a job and that only financially secure, purely altruistic people should be doing it?

No wonder there is a huge recruitment issue and 1/3 people quit after a year!

Yes I think so. People are very opiniated on your motivations and think if you wanted to help children you would adopt them and not get paid for it. Not they they would do this themselves. But this is what YOU should do.

To answer your question about money. My LA pays ~£170 a week per child for their maintenance, this is meant to cover all the costs of looking after them so it is not what the carer 'earns'. The carer gets £90 a week for year 1, then £180 a week for year 2 and beyond. If they do a diploma, they can get £270 a week. This has not changed in my 15 years.

You look after a child 24/7, they come on holiday with you, they do everything with your family all the time. They are awake in the night. They are ill. You can't call in sick, you can't have a day off. Not a problem, it's not rocket science, but it is 24/7 which means in that first year you earn £90/168 = £0.54 an hour. If you have a diploma you earn £1.60 an hour.

Baffling that people think carers do it for the money. Even the people that know them well will judge them and think this.

Do people think social workers should work for free and adopt all the children in their caseload? What is the logic behind the foster carer judgement?

Do people think social workers should work for free and adopt all the children in their caseload? What is the logic behind the foster carer judgement?

Exactly. Should teachers and nursery staff work unpaid as well?!

I don't get it, but much as I think it could be a lovely and worthwhile experience and something that we have the space for and an interest in, I need a job that earns money, to pay bills. That probably makes me money grabbing, evil and totally unsuitable to the 'job' in the eyes of many!

Doesn't seem like the questions are being answered by the expert. I will tell about my experience.
Pay
I get £26000 per year which includes money for child and a skills payment for me. I also work (currently pt self employed with flexibility over my own diary) DH full time but has always had flexibility over start time. Having someone in household with flexibility is essential. There are many different set ups regarding payment. Its not my 'job' but I cant do a full time job. Payment feels about right for me. I couldn't foster babies though as this would require ft commitment.
Support
I get support from
My social worker - she's very good, see her approx every 6 weeks
Child's social worker - I really liked her previous SW. Current one is ok. See her every 6 weeks.
Courses run by LA - good topics and helpful to meet other foster carers. Good introductory training
Support groups for FCs - these exist, but i dont go due to work commitments
Councelling- I've never been offered any, but fd has.
Respite - FD goes to another foster carers for 1 weekend per month
Emergencies - 24hour emergency phone line - never used it though.

@Bikechic thank you! I was going to say the same. None of the questions are actually being answered!

If you don’t mind, could you answer a couple more I have?

You say you couldn’t foster babies as that would require ft care. So does this mean you can choose which age group you are willing to foster? I ask because I have 2 younger children and wouldn’t feel comfortable fostering an older child, not yet anyway, purely because I haven’t got any experience parenting an older child, and wouldn’t feel confident in what they need, if that makes sense. I would however love to foster babies and younger children and hopefully older ones as mine get older and I learn more.

Second question - for the pay, you say a portion is for the child - how do they break this down and/or how do you prove it? For example if you spend the money on your bills, food, heating the house etc, that’s for the child but also for yourself, if that makes sense? Do you need to provide detailed breakdowns of everything you spend?

Thanks again

@OutsideEveryday
I can answer for myself but your LA or an agency may have their own rules.
Do you have to prove how you spend the money?
No. We are asked to set up a savings account for young person that we pay regularly into and we are expected to give pocket money. Other than that we are trusted to spend what is needed.
Can you choose the age of children?
Yes definitely. When we started our youngest was 11, so we wanted fc to be younger than that. Our registration would have to change if we wanted to take babies. Id probably have to do more training as my experience with that age is a bit dated.

This. I also worry that the council will hide relevant facts because they want a child placed, anyhow.

This. I also worry that the council will hide relevant facts because they want a child placed, anyhow.

This definitely happened to friends I know who fostered. The social worker also promised large amounts of ongoing support and therapy which never materialised either.

I’d always understood that many parents remain foster parents rather than adopt because, even though the support for foster parents and their foster children is mediocre, support for adoptive parents and their children is non-existent.

Is there any reason to choose LA fostering over agency fostering, given that the pay and support available for the latter appears much better?

I love the idea of fostering but am pretty sure it’s too much for me. However I’ve considered becoming an Independent Visitor for a looked-after child. What’s your view of this role?

One of my FC has an independent visitor and really benefits from it. I think it's a wonderful thing to do. I don't believe she gets paid - just allowances but she only sees my FC approx once per month.

Most looked after children don't have adoption in their care plan, so are in long term fostering households, ideally the same one on a permance plan to see them through to adulthood.

The council often don't know all the facts before referral, especially in an emergency. It's in their interests to get a fostering placement right first time

also happy to ask any questions

@fosterma @Bikechic - couple more questions if you don’t mind!

What is the situation with the child’s biological parents? How often do they see them if at all? Do they come to your address or does the child go to theirs? Or with a social worker?

And secondly what are your legal responsibilities and rights as a foster parent whilst they’re living with you? For example if they need private medical care would you be expected to pay for it or would the LA cover it? How does that work with agencies? Also if you wanted to take them on holiday would you need permission from the child’s parents? How does it work with things like school parents evenings, signing forms (are you classed as a ‘guardian’?)

Thanks in advance!

I foster with an LA and have had the same two children with me for over a decade. I didn’t realise some people might be thinking that I had kept fostering them for that long for the money and that I should have instead adopted them and looked after them for free, as a PP suggested.

The fact is that if children are in long term foster care this is usually because the decision has been made to keep them in foster care and not put them up for adoption. In my foster children’s case this was because they had good relationships with birth family and taking them away from birth family to be adopted was not in their best interests. So the decision was made, not by me, for them to remain in long term foster care and have regular family time with birth family. And yes, I continue to get paid to look after them. Apologies that I didn’t take in two children unrelated to me who came with behavioural, emotional and educational difficulties without expecting any money to support me to care for them.

Regarding money, the fee my LA pays for foster carers who have been fostering over one year and who are up to date on all training, is £215 a week per child. The allowance for the child starts at £130 for a baby and increases for different age groups up to £215 for teenagers. So as I have two teenagers I currently receive £860 a week. I find that quite generous and easy to live on, especially as my husband also has a full time job. It is also a lot more than it was when I first started fostering so I definitely did not go into it for the money. My original weekly fee was £35 no matter how many children were placed with me.

Agencies tend to pay more but when children need foster homes LAs always try to place them with LA carers first as it is cheaper for them. If the children are difficult to place - no available carers, large sibling groups, children who have already been with lots of carers but placements have broken down due to behaviour issues - then the LAs pay agencies to find placements for them. So yes agency carers will earn more but they will wait longer for placements and they will be asked to take more challenging children.

I only foster under 12's, so my foster children see their parents at a family centre, supervised by support staff. Children in long term care continue to see their parents. A child I fostewred short term, moved on to new carers for permanance and the carer supervised their family time in the community and then moved on to unsupervised building up to overnights, child is now a teenager. I understand it to be like this sometimes due to older children choosing with their feet, so this way they are safe in care but also can have a relationship with parents

Younger children who have adoption in their plan, see parents up to transitions into their new family

We have no legal 'rights' over the children. A document is drawn up as a placement starts saying what we can do - so haircuts, dr appt, dentist, school trips, sleep overs etc. If we aren't sure on something, like immunisations for eg, we ask the social workers. Parents can say if they don't want to do something like a holiday but I've found the sw can talk them round. The parents still hold parental responsibility in most cases

Yes, that is an enormous amount of money and thanks for confirming that you feel it is generous.
I'm glad the arrangement works for you

enormous? The childs portion (£198 going up to £201 when child hits 3) will be broken down into expectations. I get 0-2 payment currently, I am told how much I need to spend on ...
clothing - £17,50
transport - £12.50
activitiies - £17.50
(if no activity is attended ie the child is a newborn, I have to save that amount), pocket money - £3
savings - £5,
personal allowance for the child (not costed), so everything else like toys, books, educational supplies, equipment, nappies. The childs fee also contributes to the household for their share of heating, food, water etc We don't receive child benefit nor can we add them to a claim for universal credit.

My 'fee' is £162 - an 'enormous' 0.96p per hour!!!

Yes, I can survive on my fostering income only because I have adult children still liviing at home and they contribute to the household and more foster children means more money (enormous?) but we are working 24/7, caring for extremely vunerable and traumatised children, going above and beyond every single day

I agree with everything @Iloveagoodnap says about agency vs LA and about the situation for children in long term foster care.
We've only ever fostered one child actually living with us. Shes been here for 10 years. Others have been just for respite. Birth family dont know where we live, but we dont make a massive effort to keep it secret as they are not a threat. Contact has been a mix of supervised by us and supervised by a SW. FD also speaks to them on phone.
Im also rolling my eyes at some of the comments about money. I do respite weekends once per month for a teenager. In order to do that, I dont do my usual 4 hour shift in my normal job. That means a reduction in earnings for that weekend. The fostering money replaces about 50% of it. If i wanted the money, there's easier ways.

Yes, caring and being responsible for children (biological or otherwise) is very expensive. And parents quite rightly should be responsible for that.
I hope you don't mind me asking if you had considered an alternative means of employment now that your children are adults?

Enormous! Wait til you hear what teachers earn AND they get nights, weekends and holidays off.

Yes, that is an enormous amount of money

Really? For welcoming traumatised children indefinitely into your home and being on call 24/7?

I really don't think it is enormous.

Perhaps if it paid more, there wouldn't be a huge issues in finding people prepared to foster,l?

Why would I want to do something different? I love fostering, it's hard and frustrating and your life is on display but to be able to input into a child's life, in a positive and loving way is priceless! to watch them grow, knowing that you gave them stability at their most vunerable times, hoping that they can take that feeling of stability into their futures, even if they don't remember you

I had an 8 year old come to me a few years back who asked me at the end of our 1st week "when does the money run out?" I asked him what money? He wanted to know when the food would run out and when the lights would go off and when he couldn't get to school on the bus as the money won't last. He had been living in absolute poverty and his parent wasn't making good choices. To be able to take those worries away from him for the time he was with me will stay with me forever - so yes, these children deserve the amounts given to foster carers to keep them safe, fed, warm and able to have everything they need plus extras. And that little boy went home eventually, his parent took the help offered and turn their life around, they keep in touch occasionally and they are both doing ok