Which qualities did you or would you look for when choosing your children’s legal guardians? Share your thoughts with Beyond

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Lots of parents often think about who they would choose as legal guardians for their children, with a number of considerations being taken into account. It may be important that they’re family, or essential that your children are taught the values you believe in. Whatever your priorities, there’s no doubt that choosing your children’s legal guardians is an important decision for all parents. With this in mind, Beyond want to hear from you about how you chose, or would choose, legal guardians for your children.

Here’s what Beyond have to say:
“Without a will, the state determines what happens with your kids and assets, whether you’re married or not. So, a will is vital for parents, and Beyond make it simple and affordable to get it sorted online. In 15 minutes, you can protect your family with a legally-binding will - without ever having to leave the house. It’s perfect for busy mums and dads. Trusted by 1,000s of UK parents, Beyond’s easily updatable online will service lets you protect your family, choose guardians for children and pets and leave personal messages for your loved ones.”

Which qualities do you look for when deciding who to choose for your children’s legal guardians? Was it an easy decision, or was it something that took time to think about? How did you ask them to take on such a big responsibility - or have you not asked? Have you changed your mind since writing your will - if you have written a will at all?

Share the qualities you did or would look for in your children’s legal guardians on the thread below, and be in with a chance to win a £300 voucher of your choice (from a list), as well as a legally binding will for you and your partner.

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

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This is a really difficult one as both our families are abroad in very different parts of the world. Realistically it would be my parents or sister as I think the life that my children would have with them would be most similar to what we would probably provide for them here.
It’s not something we have discussed so thanks to this thread we will, thank you.

DH and I still need to write a will, which is shameful really as we have 2 small children. I have expressed to my parents though that I’d want them to be Guardians. We looked for someone self less, proven track record of parenting, financially stable, and who would be able to look after them here where we already live so as to not uproot the children further If the worst were to happen.

Honesty, Integrity, A Willingness to perform the function, Someone who your kids will like.

The qualities we would look for in choosing legal guardians for our kids
Loving
Fairness
Ability to spend time together
Sense of family important to us
Sense of humour
Some discipline

The qualities we looked for changed over time. When ds was little we looked for family members who seemed to have similar general attitudes to how family life should work. Now that ds is older and unfortunately i have fallen out with the original choice, i value people who could guve him stability by being local, and who are very accepting of different situations.

I've always had a will and updated it last year. I get that aome situations are very complicated but thats when you really need a will.

Someone who I would trust with my life, who has similar priorities and beliefs to me, and someone who I have seen how they handle difficult and different situations.
It also has to be someone I have known for a long time and I see them sticking around for my whole life.

Honesty & kindness

Responsible, honest, loving (and most importantly that love my children) and someone that wouldn't mind their family enlarging (lets be honest, its a massive thing to ask a friend/family member and not everyone would want it)

We haven't appointed guardians for our kids, I'll be honest it's not something that I've ever given much thought to! This post has made me think I really should. My eldest is 19 but I wouldn't land him with the responsibility of caring for younger siblings (others are early teens) so it would have to be a family member. Neither myself nor my husband still has our parents, and I'd hate the kids to be split up, so we'd have to approach various siblings and see how they felt about it!
It's a really tricky subject isn't it!

We chose one of my oldest friends and her husband. They have an older DC who has turned out great. I know they would look after my DC well. I trust them.

Being caring, having a similar outlook to me, getting on well with my children and being wise and responsible and someone I can trust. If possible a relative who loves them, so my sister is first choice.

someone I can trust

I'd look for someone who I could trust and would have my childrens best interests at heart! Who would love them and care for them. They'd also have to be reliable!

Someone who I trust would be 1st on the list. And if not family a good family friend who knows my child & us well. I would consider family culture but it wouldn't be everything as children tend to develop their own ways anyway as they grow older.
I would try to make sure that my chosen person or people are able to financially support my children in my absence.

My brother, who had kids of similar age, and shared same values we did

It would have to be someone who is close to the family, and someone who would accept the responsibility. The only qualities would be caring and kind.

I would choose my Mum because we are all so close to her and I know that she would do an amazing job.

Family, knowing they have similar values and a familiar way of life.

its so difficult! For us the most important thing was finding someone who we knew would raise our kids similar to how we would.

We chose my husband's sister and her husband. Family ties.

Calm, loving, generous and grateful!

I would choose either of my sisters as I know she would be loved, nurtured and looked after. I would of liked my Mum but as she is disabled it would not be possible as I am her full time carer now and she would not be able to unfortunately.

i'd be looking for consistency and reliability, in order to raise a child these 2 things are most important

It had to be someone the children had a relationship and who would continue to raise and educate them with the same values as we had.

Someone with the same values as us, who would love them as much, probably a relative but it's such a hard thing as no-one ticks all the boxes.