Which qualities did you or would you look for when choosing your children’s legal guardians? Share your thoughts with Beyond

[AbbiCMumsnet]

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Lots of parents often think about who they would choose as legal guardians for their children, with a number of considerations being taken into account. It may be important that they’re family, or essential that your children are taught the values you believe in. Whatever your priorities, there’s no doubt that choosing your children’s legal guardians is an important decision for all parents. With this in mind, Beyond want to hear from you about how you chose, or would choose, legal guardians for your children.

Here’s what Beyond have to say:
“Without a will, the state determines what happens with your kids and assets, whether you’re married or not. So, a will is vital for parents, and Beyond make it simple and affordable to get it sorted online. In 15 minutes, you can protect your family with a legally-binding will - without ever having to leave the house. It’s perfect for busy mums and dads. Trusted by 1,000s of UK parents, Beyond’s easily updatable online will service lets you protect your family, choose guardians for children and pets and leave personal messages for your loved ones.”

Which qualities do you look for when deciding who to choose for your children’s legal guardians? Was it an easy decision, or was it something that took time to think about? How did you ask them to take on such a big responsibility - or have you not asked? Have you changed your mind since writing your will - if you have written a will at all?

Share the qualities you did or would look for in your children’s legal guardians on the thread below, and be in with a chance to win a £300 voucher of your choice (from a list), as well as a legally binding will for you and your partner.

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

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Tricky one. It would have to be my sister. The kids all love her to bits already and are comfortable with her which I think is vital as they'll need someone they can be themselves around and can open up to. She's a bit less relaxed about parenting than I am, so there would be quite an adjustment period but they would be in the best of hands. As my daughter is nearly 19, she obviously wouldn't have a guardian and my eldest son is 17 so wouldn't need one for long. My youngest is 15 and is the same age as my sister's eldest so that would also be a good reason to think she would be the best person for the job.

We picked my sister as someone who was a similar age to us, and lived in the same area, although not on our doorstep.
The main reason however as I know she has similar values as ours on parenting, and life in general.
We considered friends who fitted the same bill too however with family I was happier knowing if the unthinkable happened then our DCs would still feel part of the family.
We also talked it through with sister as her views were paramount.

I would choose a family member who would be there to emotionally support my kids if I wasn’t here

I would look for a lot of qualities
-loyal and trustworthy
-knows my child well and would prioritise his best interests
-would encourage him to achieve his potential
-kind, caring but offers consistency

We have chosen my sister and brother in law. Was the only choice really as they are a similar age, have their own children, lives in same village and have a brilliant relationship with us and our children.

The obvious area was shared values and way of life but given they have children too we really wanted to make sure that we felt they would be welcomed as equals and not as an additional burden. I think we have made a great decision.

Thanks for all your comments and congratulations to @sheilads105 for winning the voucher!

We didn't really have any choice - my 1 sibling lives in a different continent so we had to go with DHs sister. She's a good person but has her own young family and busy life. Also we have v different viewpoints but I guess if the worst was to ever happen, I wouldn't be around to know about it. I know she would take good care of our DC and would raise them with kindness

My mum- they love her and she loves them

We chose my Brother and his wife!! They chose not to have any Children and they are financially stable and have a good home - won't they get a shock if they have to take in my five Children!!

Someone who would love my children as their own, my parents would be bet really

@AbbiCMumsnet

Was it a random draw or based on response?

This is so complicated and not a very easy decision but first and foremost would be the willingness to love my children and take on the responsibility. For many I think this can end up being family members or very close friends who know you well and respect how you would want your children to be raised. Due consideration has to be given then to not just willingness but logistics and practicality. Age is also another factor to be given consideration

My son is an only child and it will be staying that way - he is used to not having to share me now and the person I chose was not able to be a parent but Ive always known would make a good Dad. He has patience, compassion, he is loyal and loving all the qualities I would want to be passed on to my son.

Hi @lovemenorca, it's based on a random draw.
Thanks,
Abbi

I would choose my Mum and Dad. They brought us up well and my children love them.

They need to be actively involved in our lives and not strangers. Kindness, compassion, empathy, patience

i would look for someone who is related like family who can be trusted and is a kind and considerate person who can be trusted and responsible.

My boys would live with their Dad if anything happened to me. Age is a factor and how financially independent someone is should also be thought about. Not to mention if they are going to love and care for them how you would.

Someone i can trust and know that they would have my child's best interest at heart

If anything happened to me my children would stay with my partner. Hes only one of the threes dads but it doesnt and never would change the way he feels about them by me not being there. He has been there dad longer than their actual dad stuck around.

If it was something that happened to us both and they had to go to someone else it would be my parents or one of my sisters or brother. My family are really close so they would make sure they are in the right place

Integrity honesty and moral values

The only people I would trust with my children is my parents my husband agrees and I know they would have the same lifestyle with my parents, same traditions etc and I know that if anything we’re to happen to them my oldest daughter would step in

Someone who is caring, trustworthy, kind and pragmatic.

It would have to be someone that already knows my children well so they felt familiar with them and could easily adapt into their new lifestyle (allbeit hard losing their parents). I'd go for my brother & sister in law as I think they would be the perfect fit.