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MNHQ

Which qualities did you or would you look for when choosing your children’s legal guardians? Share your thoughts with Beyond

252 replies

AbbiCMumsnet · 14/08/2019 13:24

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Lots of parents often think about who they would choose as legal guardians for their children, with a number of considerations being taken into account. It may be important that they’re family, or essential that your children are taught the values you believe in. Whatever your priorities, there’s no doubt that choosing your children’s legal guardians is an important decision for all parents. With this in mind, Beyond want to hear from you about how you chose, or would choose, legal guardians for your children.

Here’s what Beyond have to say:
“Without a will, the state determines what happens with your kids and assets, whether you’re married or not. So, a will is vital for parents, and Beyond make it simple and affordable to get it sorted online. In 15 minutes, you can protect your family with a legally-binding will - without ever having to leave the house. It’s perfect for busy mums and dads. Trusted by 1,000s of UK parents, Beyond’s easily updatable online will service lets you protect your family, choose guardians for children and pets and leave personal messages for your loved ones.”

Which qualities do you look for when deciding who to choose for your children’s legal guardians? Was it an easy decision, or was it something that took time to think about? How did you ask them to take on such a big responsibility - or have you not asked? Have you changed your mind since writing your will - if you have written a will at all?

Share the qualities you did or would look for in your children’s legal guardians on the thread below, and be in with a chance to win a £300 voucher of your choice (from a list), as well as a legally binding will for you and your partner.

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

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Which qualities did you or would you look for when choosing your children’s legal guardians? Share your thoughts with Beyond
OP posts:
littlemonkeyz · 19/08/2019 17:31

We haven't yet chosen who would be my child's legal guardians and we haven't made a will although we were actually discussing it last week. I think that I will feel less anxious once we have done this.

JoJoY · 19/08/2019 17:41

My sister as she shares the same qualities I do plus I know she'd love them unconditionally!

katieskatie82 · 19/08/2019 17:46

They would have to be family, with the same family values as myself. My family are all very close so my son would know and trust anyone that i'd choose x

moosexxx · 19/08/2019 18:00

We wished this to be a member of the family that the children already knew well. We choose them because of their age, morals, honesty and dependability. And because of the love that already exists between them and our children.

Ikea1234 · 19/08/2019 18:06

We chose my sister and her partner, whose own children are a little older than ours, and they've been raised in a similar way and have similar priorities and passions. They're also financially stable and I know our children's inheritance would be channelled how we would want it to be and priorities would be alongside our own. For us, it was a no brainer.

Hotterthanahotthing · 19/08/2019 18:10

I chose my sister and her partner when DD was born.Now she is a teen the choice is still right.Tjey would understand and help her through difficult times and myy DD respects and loves them.They would have financial control of any money until she is 24 as we felt she would need to be sure that their home was hers past 18.She also has a caring cousin who would lookout for her too.
I hope we all live to a ripe old age though.

RandomMess · 19/08/2019 18:16

People around my own age that I knew would act in my DC best interests by that fostering/adoption or going to live with family friends. I knew they would prevent our families being involved which was the main thing!

addverbaan · 19/08/2019 18:41

I chose my sister as I know she would love and care for my son as much as I do and that't the only thing that really matters

ThemisA · 19/08/2019 18:45

I pick family first but have back ups. It is matching the children to the right family. Some years ago I asked one friend and she said 'no' which hadn't occurred to me (we are still friends). I want people who are capable of loving my children as their own, who have similar values and child-rearing ideas.

devito92 · 19/08/2019 19:12

Close friends how have similar values to yourselves and children of there own

foxessocks · 19/08/2019 19:41

We chose my brother in law and sister in law because they don't live too far away so would still be close to my parents, dh parents, that was important and they share our values in general. And our kids like them obviously!

sarah861421 · 19/08/2019 19:47

we chose my sister, because we were ( and are ) very close. The person has to have a similar parenting style, and lifestyle attitude. We were quite heavily insured so we made my husbands brother as trustees to make sure that both sides of the family were involved and thise was no impropriety

LeeR1985 · 19/08/2019 20:38

I would choose a close friend or family member who I can trust to raise my daughter properly. Luckily I have a lot of people I could rely on for that.

MrRichTea · 19/08/2019 20:40

Someone who always puts other first, before themselves, has a level of trust and moral values

beckyinman · 19/08/2019 20:48

A good moral compass and a sense of fun

arat · 19/08/2019 20:55

This is a tricky one for us as older parents. Our parents are late 70s and all other relatives live over 100 miles away so the topic remains very much 'work in progress'.

freefan · 19/08/2019 20:58

I chose my mum, she was the only person I truly trusted to have the same values as I did, and to raise my children in the same way as we would should the unthinkable happen.

MillyVanilli222 · 19/08/2019 21:01

I would look for people with similar outlooks and views on parenting as myself, in a stable situation and able to give my kids lots of love and support!

pennwood · 19/08/2019 21:05

We made our wills as soon as our daughter was born as it important to make provision for children, just in case. My sister & her husband were asked to raise our dd as they were local to us and had the same parenting ideas, plus their dd was only eighteen months different in age. It was an easy ask as we would reciprocate in the unfortunate event of their need. My Mum would have been ideal but we felt her age could create problems at a later date which would be upsetting to dd.

helly27 · 19/08/2019 21:10

We choose family members who had the same morals and qualities that we have

emmmaaa26 · 19/08/2019 21:40

Loving people. People who have kindness and compassion at the heart of everything they do. Also someone I would trust.

RACHELSMITH45 · 19/08/2019 22:29

We need to make a will however still struggle to choose who would be guardians. Possibly my sister who parents in a similar way to us.

dadshere · 19/08/2019 22:30

We decided that my sister was the best choice, she is a mother herself and her kids are all well-loved and well looked-after. Dh immediately ruled out his family.

pfcpompeysarah · 19/08/2019 22:32

I am a single parent and this issue fills me with dread as you never know what life has in store for you. I would choose my mum to look after my son as she is close to where I live so my son wouldn't have to change his school and friendship circle, she is similar to me in outlook and parenting style and above all else, she loves him more than anything.

lhlee62 · 19/08/2019 23:24

I have asked my siblings as both of them are quite sensible with their money so should be able to cope financially, but they are both abroad. DH did want to ask his brother or his mum, but she is disabled and both are rubbish financially so I said they were probably not the best choice. I know it's not all about money, but I just don't think they would cope plsu they both live in really small houses. I do have my parents, but they are getting on I am pretty sure that they would help in anyway they could.