Which qualities did you or would you look for when choosing your children’s legal guardians? Share your thoughts with Beyond

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Lots of parents often think about who they would choose as legal guardians for their children, with a number of considerations being taken into account. It may be important that they’re family, or essential that your children are taught the values you believe in. Whatever your priorities, there’s no doubt that choosing your children’s legal guardians is an important decision for all parents. With this in mind, Beyond want to hear from you about how you chose, or would choose, legal guardians for your children.

Here’s what Beyond have to say:
“Without a will, the state determines what happens with your kids and assets, whether you’re married or not. So, a will is vital for parents, and Beyond make it simple and affordable to get it sorted online. In 15 minutes, you can protect your family with a legally-binding will - without ever having to leave the house. It’s perfect for busy mums and dads. Trusted by 1,000s of UK parents, Beyond’s easily updatable online will service lets you protect your family, choose guardians for children and pets and leave personal messages for your loved ones.”

Which qualities do you look for when deciding who to choose for your children’s legal guardians? Was it an easy decision, or was it something that took time to think about? How did you ask them to take on such a big responsibility - or have you not asked? Have you changed your mind since writing your will - if you have written a will at all?

Share the qualities you did or would look for in your children’s legal guardians on the thread below, and be in with a chance to win a £300 voucher of your choice (from a list), as well as a legally binding will for you and your partner.

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

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We found the decision really difficult and in the end asked my brother and his wife. We felt we needed someone we were both happy with and would put our sons best interests first. We wanted someone who had the same values as us and who lived fairly close by.
My brother happily agreed to the proposal.

i would look for someone who is loving and caring and can provide a stable home

It would be people who are responsible but not too serious who have a happy outlook on life in general...

This was the hardest decision but in the end we decided on someone who would have time for our children - for practical reasons but also time to support them through a difficult time

Someone with similar values to myself&partner

For us, it would be a couple, as my DS has some behaviour issues and can be v. hard work, and someone who has children / is planning to have children and who has similar family values to us, so they would be brought up, as far as possible, in a similar way to how we would bring them up.

We're still mulling over this as our preferred choice, my DB and his wife, are struggling to conceive and "hey, I know you're struggling to have kids of your own but would you mind looking after ours if we go under a bus?" isn't an easy conversation to have. We don't really have anyone else we could ask as we don't have close friends who'd be willing to take on our kids, our other siblings have no kids of their own (so chose not to have them) and parents are getting into their 70s, which is too old to take on young children. My only other possible friends who'd be a good fit have just split up.

The things I would look for are

1. Somebody whose parenting style, values, and religious beliefs most closely match my own.
2. Somebody who is most able to take on the responsibility of a caring for my child – emotionally, financially, physically, etc

3.Somebody whom my child feel comfortable with already 4.somebody who will have enough time and energy to devote to my child

We have friends that cannot have children and they are already our sons 'second' Mum & Dad

It would be his aunt who has loved and cared for him since he was born - she has and always will be in his life and would give him a life that would make him happy and keep him safe.

Shared values, financial stability, a positive outlook on life, a thirst for knowledge, a sense of humour. Grandparents were the obvious choice but if I were doing it again tomorrow, I'd approach my oldest friend.

Honesty and kindness

I asked my sister and her husband as they parent in a similar way to us and I know the kids would be well looked after and other family members would still see them. They also live near us which is a bonus.

I would have to trust them completely. They would need to be supportive of all the decisions my children make and love them and keep them safe and happy

When choosing for our DC, we looked at family members who had their own kids and would be able to take on responsibility without too much upheaval. We looked at age and finances too.

Which qualities do you look for when deciding who to choose for your children’s legal guardians? its something to have long thinking over and not easy at all.
i would also want to discuss it with them.ithink my parents would be great.but im also aware of how as they age it might be something they need to think more of.i also think i be more than happy if my brother took on the role.or my sister.they are the most wonderful people.ideally id want them all in a house together becasue they each have great thing in balance with eacohter that id want my kids to be brought up around!
my brother is the most sensitive,kind,funny,empathtic,he gotten through his own troubles so is so understanding to people who struggle.and he is just bloody wonderful.
my parents are the best enough said really.they gave them everything i could ever need in terms of a parent.they had their shitty faults(till do) but dont we all.and that never stopped them being amazing.
and my sister is just good.shes straight down the line.very different from my brother but would be just as good as a mum to my kids.and she has a side t her that just squelches me when i think of her with children or someone to look after.plus she is with the best man ever.
you can tell ive thought lots on this.

someone with similar values and ethics as us as parents.

Competency and general life skills.
Good with children
Steady home and work life.

Someone who knows the children well and has capacity to take an extra responsibility. In my case my sister and her husband ticked every box.

I mostly looked for loyalty and maturity! My amazing auntie is fantastic with my little girl!

In our circumstance, we have picked our best friends.

They are a couple who have been together for over 8 years and have 3 of their own children. My best friend is a SAHM and gets lots of support from her own large family. We made sure they were comfortable to be guardians as their own hands are full but they are more than happy to be!

So the main things were, stability, support, their way of bringing up their own children, how well they currently know our children.

Someone who is kind, responsible and makes good decisions

I would have chosen any of their grandparents as they were young enough and I know that they loved them unconditionally :)

oooh that is difficult! sometimes the most suitable relatives may not want the responsibility so always ask first (you will be surprised how many people dont)!

I think the main important things are someone with good morals, common sense and financially savvy - if you are leaving any money you want them to only release it on good grounds for your children. I think the good morals and common sense is just as important because you will want this relative/person to be there during difficult times and to hopefully provide the kind of advice I would have given but still allowing your children to make educated choices that put them on the right path in life.

Caring, dutiful + trustworthy

I chose my brother and his wife. Of all the people I know, including my lovely sis, they were the ones who I knew would raise my DC as close to the way I would raise them.
The qualities I looked for were kindness and tranquility, and the ability to recognise that children may turn out very different from you, with entirely different talents and interests, so not someone who'd push them to be mini-mes.

But thinking about it scared the life out of me. Much as my family are loving people, I realised no one would 'get' my DC as well as we do.