Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sponsored threads

This topic is for sponsored discussions. If you'd like to run one with us, please email [email protected].

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MNHQ

Which qualities did you or would you look for when choosing your children’s legal guardians? Share your thoughts with Beyond

252 replies

AbbiCMumsnet · 14/08/2019 13:24

This activity is now closed

Lots of parents often think about who they would choose as legal guardians for their children, with a number of considerations being taken into account. It may be important that they’re family, or essential that your children are taught the values you believe in. Whatever your priorities, there’s no doubt that choosing your children’s legal guardians is an important decision for all parents. With this in mind, Beyond want to hear from you about how you chose, or would choose, legal guardians for your children.

Here’s what Beyond have to say:
“Without a will, the state determines what happens with your kids and assets, whether you’re married or not. So, a will is vital for parents, and Beyond make it simple and affordable to get it sorted online. In 15 minutes, you can protect your family with a legally-binding will - without ever having to leave the house. It’s perfect for busy mums and dads. Trusted by 1,000s of UK parents, Beyond’s easily updatable online will service lets you protect your family, choose guardians for children and pets and leave personal messages for your loved ones.”

Which qualities do you look for when deciding who to choose for your children’s legal guardians? Was it an easy decision, or was it something that took time to think about? How did you ask them to take on such a big responsibility - or have you not asked? Have you changed your mind since writing your will - if you have written a will at all?

Share the qualities you did or would look for in your children’s legal guardians on the thread below, and be in with a chance to win a £300 voucher of your choice (from a list), as well as a legally binding will for you and your partner.

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

Standard Insight Terms & Conditions apply

Which qualities did you or would you look for when choosing your children’s legal guardians? Share your thoughts with Beyond
OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 19/08/2019 07:20

We chose my eldest brother. He is the person I know who is most similar to us in general outlook, sense of humour, interests, lifestyle and is in touch with DM and ny other siblings all the time. Even though he is nearly 10 years older than me, he hasn't retired yet. We’ll think again when he and SiL do retire.

minkeymonkeys · 19/08/2019 07:33

Someone who is kind and loyal, and who has the same values as myself. I chose my sister.

renas · 19/08/2019 07:36

My mum and dad as they are familiar with them, routines etc and the children are very at ease and comfortable in their care

frances93 · 19/08/2019 07:45

We haven't written a will yet, but its something I think we must do sooner rather than later.
I think its important to choose people who have the same values as you would want to teach your chidren, people who would genuinly try there hardest to bring out the best in a child. All children can be challenging at times, Id want to choose someone who would be willing to be there for the good & bad times with my children.

Lindseymorris29 · 19/08/2019 07:46

My brother and his partner and obviously my mum and dad will help when required. Age is an important factor for us, our children are young, they need guardians who can keep up with them. And obviously we want to reduce the fact they could potentially lose their care giver again due to age. That could really do some damage emotionally. It is a chat that you have to have though, as nobody knows what's around the corner.

buzzybev · 19/08/2019 08:10

someone that lives close by as our family are too far away so wouldn't want him to move schools if anything happened

AR2012 · 19/08/2019 08:16

I chose my brother, he has a family also. From my interactions with my niece and nephews they are being raised well.

sheilads105 · 19/08/2019 08:28

Hardest decision we ever made - looked for fun, empathy, stability.

Spices001 · 19/08/2019 08:36

My daughters stepmom - I totally trust she loves my dd like her own & trust her implicitly
She’d be kind, caring & loving

happysouls · 19/08/2019 08:46

Someone with the same values as me who will always do the right thing and will carefully consider what that is...but who is fun and loving too!

Annak789 · 19/08/2019 09:07

Someone that my children know well like my mother in law or any of my siblings

xcxcsophiexcxc · 19/08/2019 09:14

Kind , stable and reliable.
Most likely I'd choose my parents. My mum has young children her own.

Dontbugmemalone · 19/08/2019 09:18

We don't have family in the UK but our DC would go to my husband's sister and her family who are abroad. She has children that are similar ages and I would trust her to look after the children if the worst case scenario would ever happen.
A legal guardian should be kind, trustworthy and have similar morals/values to parents.

Ganne1 · 19/08/2019 09:33

We had a problem, as my husband 's family are quite old (he has no brothers or sisters), and my family is in France. But we took into account age and other children in the family, and settled on the children staying with my sister in France. Language would not be a problem.

ricola1 · 19/08/2019 09:50

Trust

chris8888 · 19/08/2019 09:58

I would chose people who know and love my children, on the practical side they would need to have space to have them live with them. Family members would be a first choice.

janeyf1 · 19/08/2019 10:06

I chose my mum because I trust her implicity and she knows best! If she had not been able to help, I would have asked my brother

strawberrisc · 19/08/2019 10:20

If the qualities and values I am looking for were not within my blood family I would definitely look outside of it. Luckily I am really close to my parents, my sister and her husband. The values I believe are important to raise my daughter include our shared history and morals and my family's genuine love for my daughter. Where my parenting differs from my family I honestly believe they would incorporate what I 'would have done' into raising my daughter.

lizd31 · 19/08/2019 10:37

They need to be someone who the children know well & love as part of their family. Preferably ones who have their own children who also get on great with your own kids

allsorts4444 · 19/08/2019 10:44

My brother and sister-in law. They are both young and have very similar ethics to me and my husband. They are both very fun people but very hard working, they have a great work-life balance, happiness is everything. They are both responsible and great with my children.

footdust · 19/08/2019 11:06

We chose aunties and uncles as they have similar ages children and similar parenting views to us. They also love our children (nearly) as much as we do!

GemmaWhite83 · 19/08/2019 11:14

My sisters would take care of my girls but I really need to get this in writing...

Lorraine37 · 19/08/2019 11:27

Should the worse happen we have asked siblings to look after our son. We think it is important to have people who he loves and who would love and care for him as though he was their own. We are lucky they would be in a position to do this for us.

finleypop · 19/08/2019 11:31

Love & stability

juicylucywb · 19/08/2019 11:35

We chose our children's legal guardians to be my sister and brother-in-law as they are family and know my children inside out. They have the same values as myself and my husband, and they love my children like their own, and my children love them too!