Share with Dettol your tips for how to find the right balance between being there for your child and being over protective - £300 voucher to be won!NOW CLOSED

[EllieMumsnet]

Finding the balance between protecting your child and letting them have independence is something many parents find difficult. To kick off the launch of their ‘Protect Like a Mother’ campaign Dettol would like you to share with them you and your partners’ tips and experiences on how you find that oh so tricky balance.

Here’s what Dettol has to say: “We know that a mother’s protection of her child is unconditional and just like an animal in the wild, she will do whatever it takes to create a safe environment for her family. We provide mums with that same unconditional protection for the whole family throughout the home.”

Watch their new ‘Protect Like a Mother’ campaign video here

Do you ever wonder if YABU about leaving your child home alone? Do you and your partner have to stop yourselves from constantly checking in on your newborn when they’re sleeping? Did you give your child a mobile phone as a way of giving them some freedom but still being able to check up on them? At what age did you let your child go out by themselves? When do you let them solve their own problems?

Whatever your experiences/tips Dettol wants to know. Share them in the thread below and be in with the chance of winning a £300 voucher of your choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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I don't think there is a right way. You have to trust your gut

Life is a constant battle, looking after a child, in my case a newborn baby has been my hardest job to date, but also my biggest achievement.

Ensuring he is safe is paramount, but also making sure that he grows up to know that he is in a secure, stable and loving relationship with us is important.

he is 9 weeks today and we are still big advocates of skin to skin, this has evolved to chest to chest with clothes on but it's his most favourite position to chill and fall asleep.

As soon as he is asleep I will transfer him to his Moses often chatting to him so that he knows I'm near.

During the day we advocate normal volume speech when he is asleep in the moses, so that he gets used to the noise and knows that we are close by.

We do this to try to establish stable emotional bonds with him.

For barrier protection when out and about? Always a dettol antibacterial wipe down of the changing mat and surfaces he touches. I've been told this is still new mum behaviour...

It's no good just expecting a child to be confident and independent, they need some scaffolding and encouragement along the way. Made me very cross when MIL used to roll her eyes as I provided the support mine needed.

I am a bit of a worrier but I try hard to let the DDs explore and take small (calculated) risks.
I had to let DH teach them to ride their bikes though, I know my limits.

Sometimes it is important for them to make mistakes and learn from them

I like to give my son's freedom to learn independence. Whistle safety is very important to me, its all about minimising risks and teaching children how to effectively deal with said risks.

Every child is different, let the individuals dictate the pace, Within boundaries of of coarse!

My MIL always tells me I'm over protective with my three DC'S but I think alot of that is to do with my own background & constantly fear that something is going to happen to them, although I am receiving help with this now & have started to let go somewhat. It's not easy.

Try and keep a watchful eye from a distance. Don't step in too early unless they are putting themself in immediate danger. It's difficult to get the balance right, especially in today's society where the message is that there is danger lurking in every corner!

I do struggle with being over protective of my children, having 2 young boys they can be very energetic and don’t pay any attention to their surroundings. I try to give them freedom by setting boundaries and as long as they stick to them next time they will increase, however if they don’t they will decrease. I think it’s about building trust that they will listen when needed and also ensuring they are paying enough attention to their surroundings to be safe.

Allow your child to make mistakes - really hard to stand back and do this but it’s so important.
And let go progressively and as soon as you think your child can deal with it. Remember that your child potentially will leave home at 18 and they need to be prepared for this as far as possible!

I try and use my medical knowledge and also risk analysis of 'what's the worst that can happen'. If it's just that they'll end up shaken up/bumped then they can go ahead, if it's broken bones/head injury etc. I'll be a bit more hands on!

I don't think I am overprotective mother but I do worry about my children...Are they're sleep safe ? Are they're playing okey?
And on the top of that my worry is how clean is my house or place where we go. This is more difficult when baby starts crawling.I think now is the time when I need to more relax and enjoy precious time with my children.

I think it is definitely harder with the eldest. Subsequent children you know everything will be ok. Eldest has gone to London this weekend. He is almost 18, but I am having to stop myself from texting him every 5 mins!

I let my child walk to the library from school, he is 8 and it is only 100 yards (he has to cross a zebra crossing). However I wait in library with dd (5) and my sil who also has children in the school keeps a discrete eye on him in school yard. It's not much but he has a taste of freedom and I can control my anxiety. It's baby steps (more for him than me!)

Teach them about things then step back and let them get on with it...but make sure you have a close enough relationship that they can speak to you if stuff goes wrong...not an easy balance.

This is something I’ve struggled with, as DS is an ex-29 weeker who was in NICU for nearly a 100 days - so we had all the hygiene measures in hospital & it was really hard to strike the right balance at home. On one hand, he was very vulnerable (on home oxygen) & could be very badly affected by illness. But on the other, we were trying to live as normal a life as possible.

The next think I need to tackle with him is allowing him to walk back from school alone - he is nearly 9, but it’s a mike along a busy road. So I’ll need to think of some strategies eg walking with him part of the way.

It's really difficult to strike the balance between my own childhood and my daughter's. If there wasn't social media my daughter would have had more of the childhood that I had. Unfortunately, society's attitudes have changed and you'd be frowned upon for letting your children play out all day - even though we didn't bat an eyelid back then. I've compromised that now she is a teenager with a phone I give her the freedom to learn about bus and train timetables and give her far more freedom.

get terribly anxious when any of the children are poorly or running a fever but otherwise, we have a pretty good balance I think. From a young age, I tried not to hover round them when they played and if someone fell over, just gave them a split second to see if they could pick themselves up and dust themselves off before carrying on - which they often (although not always!) did

My DS 8 is on the verge of OCD, and is very careful about cleanliness in some ways. He goes around the house cleaning and wiping things, and will check every plate and piece of cutlery before eating. He also only drinks from store bought water bottles. I worry about this, but try calm him down with facts about how germs are good for us too.

I only really use antibacterial and bleach products in the toilet and occasionally in the washing machine to reduce odour and bacteria in a 30 degree wash for bed linen, towels and gym kit.

In my case, it's me encouraging DS to feel safer and try unknown and possibly scary things. I do it small stage by stage, so it doesn't overwhelm him.

I try to keep my distance to let them figure things out for themselves but am ready to step in when I see them really struggling.

You have to let children take some risks however hard it is for you!

Gradual confident steps. Always very hard to get this exactly right as a parent but you get there in the end 😉

Lots of discussion about how to sort out friendship issues at the moment. Part of me wants to March to the school or contact other child's parents but we are talking about the steps to take to deal with it and always being open and honest with each other. It's hard.

I force myself to let them try, whether it be climbing the stairs or getting themselves a drink or walking without holding my hand. I know that it is better for them to try and fail in front of me than try and fail without me there to step in.

I never wanted my little one to go to nursery as i hated the thought of someone else looking after him as they could never love and care for him like I do... so i worked around him and my other halfs work.
I bit the bullet and enrolled him in nursery a few months ago ... it was honestly the best thing i could have done, his confidence is through the roof and he has come on so much I'm so much more in love with him and I'm so so so proud :)