Share with Dettol your tips for how to find the right balance between being there for your child and being over protective - £300 voucher to be won!NOW CLOSED

[EllieMumsnet]

Finding the balance between protecting your child and letting them have independence is something many parents find difficult. To kick off the launch of their ‘Protect Like a Mother’ campaign Dettol would like you to share with them you and your partners’ tips and experiences on how you find that oh so tricky balance.

Here’s what Dettol has to say: “We know that a mother’s protection of her child is unconditional and just like an animal in the wild, she will do whatever it takes to create a safe environment for her family. We provide mums with that same unconditional protection for the whole family throughout the home.”

Watch their new ‘Protect Like a Mother’ campaign video here

Do you ever wonder if YABU about leaving your child home alone? Do you and your partner have to stop yourselves from constantly checking in on your newborn when they’re sleeping? Did you give your child a mobile phone as a way of giving them some freedom but still being able to check up on them? At what age did you let your child go out by themselves? When do you let them solve their own problems?

Whatever your experiences/tips Dettol wants to know. Share them in the thread below and be in with the chance of winning a £300 voucher of your choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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I’m not sure I’m terribly balanced. I like to encourage as much independence as possible so long as they are safe-.e.g. when DS was 13 we sent him to Panama by himself to stay with his grandfather for a week, but we used KLM’s UM service, not just him completely on his own!

I let all my previous kids to do things on their own under my watchful eye. With the youngest I do the same except I'm a bit more protective.

I think the difficult thing is finding the correct balance which I've not yet found.

I find this really difficult particularly because I only have 1 child and I am a Social Worker! However, I constantly reflect upon my parenting to ensure that I am allowing my son to develop his independence skills appropriately

This is so so hard to get a good balance - sometimes you want to wrap in cotton wool and you just know that you also have to give rope! We practice something called 'positive choices' so we will give a few choices that we feel are the safest and allow the child to take ownership by making a choice. We have found that this way children feel that they have been given freedom of choice etc but we have limited it to the best combination we can think of. I have been known to watch from a distance and/or have someone else watch for me.

Putting trust in your child. They know when they are ready to do things, so follow their lead, stand back and let them find their feet.

They will resent it if you are over protective. Be sensible and let them have a bit of independence to build their confidence and skills. For instance let them walk to school by themselves if they've done it 100 times before, but for the first few times follow them, but keep a distance and stay out of their sight. Or take them to the bus stop for the bus to school and let them go on the bus without you. For peace of mind phone the school to make sure they got there.

I've never really managed to find a good balance. I am over-protective and I think it has a negative effect on my children's confidence.

All I can hope to do as a mum is arm my children with all of the knowledge they need to keep themselves safe so that they can go off and explore the world without danger.

but I still draw the line at climbing trees

Discuss things with your child so they can make informed decisions for themselves and understand why you are protecting them.

You want to be there for your child but also don't want to smother them to allow them to stand on their own two feet - having them know that you are there for them and that you can talk at any time will also help to reassure them that they can always confide in you and also they will share things more openly.

I don't agree with youmg children having mobile phones

Children learn through trying new things and this includes making mistakes, we need to make sure the environment in which they are is safe and teach them as they grow, including having suitable boundaries

My oldest child has ADHD so he is the hardest one i find to let go of the pursestrings but i know he needs me too in order to grow. Its about finding YOUR balance that suits each child and you learn that as you go!

I think just try and let them have independence and responsibility whilst making sure you can keep a watchful eye on them, so making sure they're safe.

I am much more relaxed with my third child and enjoyed the baby stage alot more whereas with my first two I had really bad anxiety. You have to give children a chance to handle risks to help then grow. My daughter is 9 and is learning to cook at cubs so she has gained skills and learnt how to use the equipment safely x

This is a hard one for me. My DS has special needs after having meningitis and it's so easy to jump in and try and help him with things when he is struggling. But in the long run I know it is best to sometimes let him have a go even if he gets things wrong. I think this is actually different for each individual child and also each family, there isn't a right or wrong way. Some children are naturally more adventurous and want to be independent early, and others need their hand holding for longer. It's an individual journey you make together with your child, doing your best and hoping for the best!

Call me boring but my kids aged 5/6&8 only play in the garden they don't go to shop or park or walk home by themselves (I do know many of parents that do at this age) my youngest has special needs so he has a tracking band on so if God for he went missing (like he did in Blackpool!!!) Then I can locate him or his last location purely because he has no danger awareness at all.
I always be straight and explain their isn't very nice people in this world and we have to be careful and stay safe. All three have a tablet but I have the parent lock on so it's only child friendly things they can access.
My oldest is obviously getting older now and it is a scary thought of her being free in the horrible world but when she has a mobile phone etc I will e putting tracking and spy apps on so I can access everything if they don't accept it the don't get a phone simple this will carry on until 16 years old or mature enough as one has special needs.

I try to be quite relaxed within reason. I don't want to prevent my child doing something because there is a small chance they could hurt themselves otherwise they would miss put on lots of experiences. The aim is just to make everything as safe as possible, using the right equipment like helmets and knee pads etc

Congratulations to @Natsku for winning the prize draw!