Share with Dettol your tips for how to find the right balance between being there for your child and being over protective - £300 voucher to be won!NOW CLOSED

[EllieMumsnet]

Finding the balance between protecting your child and letting them have independence is something many parents find difficult. To kick off the launch of their ‘Protect Like a Mother’ campaign Dettol would like you to share with them you and your partners’ tips and experiences on how you find that oh so tricky balance.

Here’s what Dettol has to say: “We know that a mother’s protection of her child is unconditional and just like an animal in the wild, she will do whatever it takes to create a safe environment for her family. We provide mums with that same unconditional protection for the whole family throughout the home.”

Watch their new ‘Protect Like a Mother’ campaign video here

Do you ever wonder if YABU about leaving your child home alone? Do you and your partner have to stop yourselves from constantly checking in on your newborn when they’re sleeping? Did you give your child a mobile phone as a way of giving them some freedom but still being able to check up on them? At what age did you let your child go out by themselves? When do you let them solve their own problems?

Whatever your experiences/tips Dettol wants to know. Share them in the thread below and be in with the chance of winning a £300 voucher of your choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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I tend to watch from afar. I give my son the independence he needs to learn and grow but I am always looking and there for me if he needs a hand :)

Expand the boundaries little and often. Our daughter is very good at not crossing them and knows she will have more freedom if she sticks to them.

It's a combination of not being over protective, giving them age appropriate life skills, and them finding their feet and making their mark on the world. It's tough, but I hope we are doing what is best for our son! He's autistic, so it's doubly difficult as we have to support him that little bit more, but we are determined he will be an independent adult!

Allowing them to try things on their own, but when they fall or fail being there for them and encouraging them along the way.

I have the attitude with my daughter of - I give her a chance, if she messes up or takes advantage of, then rules will be made and chances wont be there for her. She is 12 and very independent as well has being responsible and superb with her attitude and behaviour and i think this is because i give her my trust to make choices herself.

I feel that you have to let them go to make mistakes and gain the confidence they need in the real world.

I understand why parents are over-protective though, as it is a scary world out there.

I think it is important to allow ds to grow in confidence, so if he thinks he is ready for something, I try to allow him to take it on. When he wanted to go down the big slide without help for the first time I was panicking, but held myself back from helping him as I think that to be overbearing is a hinderance in the long run.

I can be a little over protective but my eldest is only 3 so I'm not used to her being a bit more independent! I do try and take a step back sometimes though. I always make sure she knows where I am and can see me.

Give them more independence very gradually, let them help around the house and earn their pocket money

You can only learn by your mistakes, but we are always there to pick up the pieces. You must know when to stand back and let them stand on there own two feet.

We were probably slightly over protective with first DC but hope we have found balance with DC2 and DC3. In saying that DC1 is now all grown up and is doing great so who knows . Not something to be stressing about.

I was overprotective with my first two but the next three not so much I found that leading by example is the best way to teach children how to be independent I do give certain amount of independence depending on the age and maturity my children develop at

I'm not an anxious person so I've never been overly worried about checking in on the dc. We've just allowed them independence as we judged appropriate at the time - not necessarily at the same age for the different dc, as some were more mature at the same age. They started walking to school by themselves in year 6, which is a pretty common age around here. I do find it hard to resist bailing them out when they make mistakes though, I don't like life being hard for them but you have to let them learn!

We all do far too much for our kids, as hate to see them 'fail' or make mistakes, but need to let them learn for themselves and learn how to cope and rectify the situation when things don't go to plan.

I am quite over protective so it has been small steps for both myself and the kids. My boys now walk to school themselves and even this happened gradually, first i stopped at the school gates then it was the park entrance which is by the school and so it went. I think it has been harder for me than my boys to let go!

Being realistic and level headed about risk

Let her watch me a few times while I deal with a situation. Then ask her the next time what she thinks we should do. See if she remembers how I did it last time. Do it with her a few times, then let her go solo.

7 and 4 and I check mine are breathing every single night!

I try to encourage confidence and being sensible as much as possible but leading by example!

It's a hard one! I definitely try and let DD learn from her own mistakes but it can be difficult at times to step back. She's a bit young for a mobile phone but I know it can't be far away when she really wants one - that's going to be harder to navigate!

Feelnthe Fear but often let them do it anyway

i try to think of things from their perspective

Tough one, such a fine balance between letting them loose too soon and being a helicopter parent. We struggled with this for our eldest but seems much easier with 2nd, most likely as we know they aren't as fragile as we feared with eldest.

I always look out for the average of what other mums do. You don't want your child to resent you if all the kids are allowed to do something but theyre not x

Definitely a struggle, especially when they're young! Encouraging them to do things that are a little (but not too far - think trying new food, or a new activity) out of their comfort zone I've found helps develop their independence, while still knowing we're here to support!

As a parent its very easy to be over protective. There comes a time when you need to allow your child to make mistakes, and judgements for themselves.

Where it is safe to do so allow them a little independence and let them learn from their mistakes. I am more over protective of DS as he has ASD & ADHD, DD was walking to school alone at 7 as it's at the end of the street, DS was 11 and starting comprehensive before he was allowed to walk alone. I think you also have to be led by the individual child and their capabilities.