Share with Dettol your tips for how to find the right balance between being there for your child and being over protective - £300 voucher to be won!NOW CLOSED

[EllieMumsnet]

Finding the balance between protecting your child and letting them have independence is something many parents find difficult. To kick off the launch of their ‘Protect Like a Mother’ campaign Dettol would like you to share with them you and your partners’ tips and experiences on how you find that oh so tricky balance.

Here’s what Dettol has to say: “We know that a mother’s protection of her child is unconditional and just like an animal in the wild, she will do whatever it takes to create a safe environment for her family. We provide mums with that same unconditional protection for the whole family throughout the home.”

Watch their new ‘Protect Like a Mother’ campaign video here

Do you ever wonder if YABU about leaving your child home alone? Do you and your partner have to stop yourselves from constantly checking in on your newborn when they’re sleeping? Did you give your child a mobile phone as a way of giving them some freedom but still being able to check up on them? At what age did you let your child go out by themselves? When do you let them solve their own problems?

Whatever your experiences/tips Dettol wants to know. Share them in the thread below and be in with the chance of winning a £300 voucher of your choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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Going over the top with caution can scare children unnecessarily and affect their confidence. It's about assessing risk and allowing for flexibility.

Youve got to find the right balance between letting your child learn and explore and become indepedent.But you have to set safe and secure boundaries let children explore and learn within reason and once they have mastered that let go more gradually and age appropriate. After school clubs and activities where you arent present lets them learn confidence and indepence and you know they are in a safe environment.Show and advise them how to do things but you need to let them practice say butter bread or pouring milk into cereal are small yet simple things you wouldnt think twice of doing but these are stepping stones for indepedence, Once they are old enough they can make their own breakfast and make their own lunch. small and gradual steps boost confidence and enable the children to grow and learn.the perfect boundary is safe and at a place you are comfortable as is the child.

I let my daughter have a mobile phone when she started senior school it was my way of bring able to reach her when she was out of sight and it also meant she could contact me whenever she needed to. I have given her support when needed but also trusted her with a lot more freedom and she's grown into a lovely caring young woman whose has never given me an ounce of trouble.

Give the room when they need it, draw back when they don't. Always be there for support and remember that your fears are largely without substance: your kids are far more capable than you realise. Above all, don't give them your own hang-ups and neuroses. When they fail in a task or experience, remind them that a mistake is only the first step towards success.

This is a really good question, after raising three i have learnt a lot but still find this a very difficult balance to find, so many things to be more wary of than when we were young, and i do think each child is different in stages of being able to trust and i gave freedom to each at different rates and ages, so it is an individual thing, but i guess i am and always will be overprotective, the trick is to not really let that show too much with the children as it could invoke fear which is not a positive thing....

I am quite protective but I wouldn't say over-protective. I let my daughter make a lot of her own decisions but I don't let her out on her own yet. I trust her not to do anything stupid but it's other people I don't trust

If you are over protective you will not raise a healthy, balanced child... Do what is needed but don't fuss!

I think you need to assess the risks- sometimes you need to let them make mistakes and learn for themselves. Other times you need to talk to them and explain why they should or shouldn’t do something

Im only over protective if I have to be otherwise I'm quite relaxed and laid back. For example, if we go out, I like the kids to take the lead to make them more independent and confident.

Give them their space. Don't smother them.

I'm still not sue I have found a balance yet and still want to rush into protect and mother them.
when they fall I count to 3 and go by their reaction before going to help which is still very difficult to do.
Going to playgroup has been good and just talking to other parents and seeing how they react has helped me calm down and realise I don't always have to rush in.

very tricky, depends on the child and their age, I am always cautious by nature, so more over-protective than not. Think by the time they go to secondary school, they should have some confidence, which seems to take off as soon as they are teenagers.

Everything we have done has been baby led. We also try to laugh if he falls etc.. to try to help him get over the shock!
I think being with other people for example in Nursery has also helped a lot.

I try to give them more independence in increments and we talk through what to do in any given situation. I always voice my concerns to my mum to see if I am being over anxious about things and she usually puts my mind to rest.

We moved to the country 7 years ago when ds was 7months.

Now I am able to let him have the freedom to go play outdoors with his sister and not worry if I can't see them.

They are allowed to walk to the neighbours along the quiet road and take the dog short walks with an older cousin.

I'd never let them do that in a town.

So in a way I give them freedom but only because of our surroundings. Not sure if that counts!

Part of growing up is developing resilience to stumbles and setbacks and being over-protective may slow or damage your child's ability to cope with life. However, hard, best to count to ten and think about the pros and cons of "helping" before you act......

I think you have to gradually let go over time which increases their confidence and yours. I used to take my dd to school but now she gets the bus and goes into town on a saturday on her own. This has developed over time, she has shown us she can be trusted, got home on time etc.
Keep the communication channels open so they can discuss their worries and normalise feeling anxious eg before a job interview etc and how you coped with it.

I am a big believer in trying to let them have as much freedom as possible and to let them explore and make mistakes because I think that is the best way for them to learn from them though it is difficult sometimes to cut the apron strings and although a lot of the time I let them believe they are doing what they want I keep a sneaky eye on them just to be sure they are ok.

ive always tried to encourage my children to be independant, but with keping a ogod eye on them in the process. When My ten year old son first walked to school on his own, i was petrified, but he had his mobile phone and I would get him to ring when he got there.

i have a 4 year old, 17 year old and an 18 year old . I am way too over protective with all of them especially the older 2. I have mellowed out a little with the youngest , but not much.
Im still a nervous wreck if one of my older two a 5 mins late getting in from college

we used to go on a long walk and talk about different scenarios and what she would do. most times, there were several options and no right answer but it helped to talk through different approaches

It is so difficult not to be overprotective when you hear so many scary bad things on the news. There is no magic answer it is just trial and error and a lot of common sense

i am too overprotective, only just letting my 9 year old around the corner to play but i am trying to give him more freedom to gain that ecperience he needs

I know exactly what they’re doing all the time (at soft play/park etc) but I don’t let them know I’m watching, so I can jump in if needed but they feel they are being independent but also know I’m there.

I think you need to prepare your children well for independence and when the time is right trust them and allow them to be able to cope with all situations that may come their way