What are your thoughts about returning to work after having a baby? Tell Fairy Non Bio to win a £300 voucher NOW CLOSED

[JustineBMumsnet]

As part of our partnership with Fairy Non Bio, we’ve produced the Mumsnet Babies Podcast. There are ten episodes in the series, and the ninth is about going back to work after having a baby. Fairy Non Bio would like you to listen to it here and share your thoughts and experiences on this thread.

How did you make the choice between staying at home or going back to work with a new baby? Do you consider your career an important part of your identity that you couldn’t bear to give up? Perhaps you’re happier at home with your children? Maybe your partner is better at domestic-life than you, making them the clear choice to be the primary stay-at-home-parent?

Perhaps the cost of childcare or the logistics of going back to work mean that being a stay-at-home-parent isn’t a choice for you? Or, is going back to work a necessity to afford day-to-day life?

Whatever your experience and thoughts about going back to work with a baby, post this below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

If you’d like to rate the Mumsnet Babies Podcast, please go to the iTunes store to add a review.

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

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I went back to work after one, and went for a promotion. I love my job, and it is essential for my mental health. I love my kids, and I am a better mum to them when I work. My work is incredibly supportive of working mothers. I have been on training courses, as well as professional qualifications and the like. I then had another baby three years later. My work said I could return on the hours that suited me, days that suited me. I love, even now, that I can be at the school gates one morning and one afternoon a week. I also think that the most important is to do it the way that suits you, and your whole family.

I went back FT both times as a secondary teacher. About 18m after I went back I got a big promotion to HoD, so it has worked out well for me. Dcs are now 6 and 4 and it is getting a bit easier tho I sometimes wonder how I’ve survived the last few years. It helps that DH is b flexible, I have a short commute and local parents who do 2 days of childcare. I do enjoy my work and it is important to me to earn my own money and have the stimulation of work, tho it sometimes offends people when I say that. I don’t think I’d be a v good sahm. I’d maybe enjoy it now that they are both at school lol!

I started working again after ds turned 1. It was actually really nice to be surrounded by adults again - adults that didn’t talk about children all day! I have worked ever since. It’s tiring, it’s hard to find the energy some days. However I see it as a breather and a nice escape, a chance to be myself and find my identity again which I felt was lost a bit after having babies!

I went back to work as I had no choice. A year on (in which I went part time) I feel I have a really good balance and haven’t lost my identity.

When my DTs were born it made no sense at all for me to go back to work. My job was low paid and I hated it, and child care would have more than wiped out my earnings. I loved being a SAHM. However, I regret the impact it has had on my working life. I'm now in a position where I'm a struggling single parent, and the prospects of me ever owning my own house or having a pension are negligible. I'd caution anyone against giving up their career entirely to bring up children. No matter how secure you believe your relationship is, you should always make sure you have a strategy in case your OH runs off with a third rate opera singer. Trust me, it happens.

Returning to work is something that I'm already starting to think about. I am a trainee doctor in the NHS and I fell pregnant and got my training number for the next level in the same year. The duration of training for the next stage for me is six years.

Returning to work is a necessity and my current internal debate is whether or not they should be full-time, 80% or 50% as this will obviously affect the duration of my training.

My current plan is to return after eight monthsso that I can have a slow return to work period before my official training starts in October 2018.

When my partner first went back to work and I was left with the baby alone I found this initially very difficult as I realised that my job gave me a great sense of identity and suddenly I was not doing what I usually did and now a mother. I worked until 37 weeks and my son was born at 38 so it was an even bigger change of circumstances. Since then I have started to form a new sense of identity which is mixed - as a mother, a partner and career woman.

I am now finding that if I am without my son I miss him terribly and I do wonder what it will be like for me to get back to work. In addition if I do go back full-time I do wonder whether or not I will feel guilty as the normal hours that I work mean that I leave very early in the morning often 6:30 AM and then return late around 7 PM by which case he will already be in bed.

In addition I have night duties and weekend duties which will mean that every time is often even less.

Ultimately whatever each mother decides that is best for them and their circumstances. It is not for us to pass judgement on others but only to listen and support and through this we will be able to parent using a different styles to bring up secure and happy children.

I returned to work 3 months after the birth of Ds1. I worked full time hours crammed in to 3 days so I at least had 2 days to spend with my baby. I felt we had no time to do anything as I was exhausted from working and having a young baby and it was a truly awful time. After Ds2 and Dd where born (very close age gap, didn't time to return from mat leave) I took the decision not to return to work as i missed out on so much the first time round. When they reached school age I retrained and found a job that I truly love which just so happens to be in there school so I never miss a thing

Adult conversations all day long.

As much as I would rather not go back to work especially not full time sadly I will have no choice financially however as I work in a school I will have to sacrifice term time working for school holiday time with my daughter and the 6 weeks off together should more than make up for the more limited time in the week

The logistics are a pain, up there with the cost of childcare, but I would have gone insane as a SAHP. I juggled various PT and freelance jobs from when DC2 was 1yo and now they are both at school have been able to increase this. I think you know what the right choice is for your family and have to go with this instinct.

I have one ds, but both my dh and I have jobs with very antisocial hours.
Sadly his pays a lot more than mine so mine had to go. Will need to do something when ds starts school but dreading choosing between something menial or retraining and starting at the bottom rung again

I enjoy taking a whole year off to be at home with the family but will definitely return to work. I enjoy my career and in any case I only work part time. I like the independence of it

I was dreading going back to work after my years maternity leave, but it was nowhere near as bad as I imagined. I enjoy working again now amd having some ‘me’ time and my son is happy at nursery and making friends.

Make sure that you have an explicit discussion with your partner (if you have one) about the balance of domestic work and childcare responsibilities once you go back to work. Otherwise you end up trying to pick up your career whilst still doing all the house stuff you did on maternity leave when you weren't working, which leads to exhaustion and resentment.

I work to give myself some confidence and time being a adult!

I also think it role models good working attitude to my children

I will be going to work when my maternity leave ends, but I will reduce my hours.

I think it’s really important that you continue to have something for yourself when you have children. I know it’s going to be difficult, but I believe it will make me a better parent.