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MNHQ

What are your thoughts about returning to work after having a baby? Tell Fairy Non Bio to win a £300 voucher NOW CLOSED

341 replies

JustineBMumsnet · 15/09/2017 10:45

As part of our partnership with Fairy Non Bio, we’ve produced the Mumsnet Babies Podcast. There are ten episodes in the series, and the ninth is about going back to work after having a baby. Fairy Non Bio would like you to listen to it here and share your thoughts and experiences on this thread.

How did you make the choice between staying at home or going back to work with a new baby? Do you consider your career an important part of your identity that you couldn’t bear to give up? Perhaps you’re happier at home with your children? Maybe your partner is better at domestic-life than you, making them the clear choice to be the primary stay-at-home-parent?

Perhaps the cost of childcare or the logistics of going back to work mean that being a stay-at-home-parent isn’t a choice for you? Or, is going back to work a necessity to afford day-to-day life?

Whatever your experience and thoughts about going back to work with a baby, post this below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

If you’d like to rate the Mumsnet Babies Podcast, please go to the iTunes store to add a review.

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

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What are your thoughts about returning to work after having a baby? Tell Fairy Non Bio to win a £300 voucher NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
Mrswinkler · 28/09/2017 03:22

Enjoyed having a break from work for 5 months during mat leave but it would have driven me bonkers being home all day with a baby. Needed to go back for the money too but probably wouldn't have been different if partner was in s position to support me but as breadwinner he wasn't. I do a four day week and don't see this changing even when he's upped and left home.

tisha934 · 28/09/2017 11:57

i go back to work very fast because we dont have enough money for all the bills :( i m not so happy with this situation because i loose a lot of moments from my child life

FlukeSkyeRunner · 28/09/2017 16:51

I chose to be a stay at home mom. Happily we could afford that as dh has a fairly well paid job. It was a no brainer for us - it allows us to avoid a lot of the stress associated with two working parents, and a career wasn't important to me. I realise i am very well blessed to be in this position.

ha2el · 28/09/2017 17:28

Most of the time it's a no win situation for ladies. For many of us there is the desire to have children, but it comes at a cost. Spmetimes the sheer effort of maintaining a work and child care routine, or it can be at the expense of either a career or looking after the children yourself.

Cosmia · 28/09/2017 17:55

I took a year with both children but could not wait to go back to work. I missed my job, interacting with adults and my salary. One more Rhyme Time would have reduced me to tears. I was lucky enough to take most Fridays off so felt like I was getting to spend some quality "mummy time" with the kids but getting my own life back too.

rhinosuze · 28/09/2017 21:01

I had to go back to work, couldn't afford not to and actually went back early. I adore my child like all mums do but I do find myself grateful for going to work, for being myself whilst there and having the ability to progress but honestly I do feel guilty at times and also worry I'm missing out on things at home.

I think it's really tough for mums to decide and that they face a lot of judgement

pfcpompeysarah · 28/09/2017 22:27

I actually split up from my sons father during my 'maternity leave' period and was unable to go back to the same place due to cost of childcare, location and so on so I relocated back to my home town and threw myself into the first job that came along, a full time job when he was 6 months old.. I soon realised the job was not for me and luckily found a part time job closer to home which worked out well for me, plus I had a fabulous childminder which made life so much easier. Its hard returning to work, there are so many factors to take into consideration and your body/physical health has taken a battering, I don't know how some women do the whole back to work after a few weeks thing, they must be mad!

gemmie797 · 28/09/2017 22:44

I went back to work after 11 months. I love my job (nurse) and didn't want to leave, but was able to work as my Mum looked after my son while my husband and I were at work

abitoflight · 29/09/2017 00:45

Going back I felt deskilled after a year off with each DC but soon got back into the swing of it
Half time work for me was great - could do children's groups, pick up 3 days a week and still have adult time at work and earn
Tbh for me, going back to work m

abitoflight · 29/09/2017 00:48

Posted accidentally...
Made me feel good all round - all work or all sahm wouldn't have been as good for me

2014newme · 29/09/2017 08:21

I wanted to keep my career going and also found being at home with twin babies was like groundhog day. However to go part time I had to take a demotion that has impacted on my overall career prospects.
Expensive childish a big barrier I was lucky we could afford it but not everyone can and so their choices are restricted

TillyTheTiger · 29/09/2017 09:36

I fully intended to return to work after maternity leave but as time went on I realised how incompatible my job and commute would be with parenting so I made the decision to be a SAHM. I feel very lucky to have had the option, and definitely made the right choice - I love it!

maursieq · 29/09/2017 12:33

Not a problem. Needed the money but also didn't want to take years of experience out.

melanieb32 · 29/09/2017 19:34

I had said I would go back to work after my DS was born 4 days a week, however, as soon as he was here there was no way I could leave him for that long! I even took extra maternity leave and had a year at home with him. Then, when posed with going back three days a week to my old job I took redundancy, got a job closer to home working 3.45 hours every morning so we are home from 1pm onwards and have all the afternoons together, he now does three mornings at nursery and 2 mornings with his grandparents and we all get the best of both worlds. Nursery has bought him on no end and he can do things there that I can 't do with him at home (in particular extremely messy play) but he still gets lots of mummy and family time I couldn't and still can't imagine leaving him all day to go to work and I'm so lucky I've not had to. He had his first sleep over with my sister a few months ago, and I sobbed my socks off when he went off with her, he was absolutely fine and had a grand old time, I was beside myself, he has since slept out once more and I was much better! :-)

melanieb32 · 29/09/2017 19:36

I had said I would go back to work after my DS was born 4 days a week, however, as soon as he was here there was no way I could leave him for that long! I even took extra maternity leave and had a year at home with him. Then, when posed with going back three days a week to my old job I took redundancy, got a job closer to home working 3.45 hours every morning so we are home from 1pm onwards and have all the afternoons together, he now does three mornings at nursery and 2 mornings with his grandparents and we all get the best of both worlds. Nursery has bought him on no end and he can do things there that I can 't do with him at home (in particular extremely messy play) but he still gets lots of mummy and family time I couldn't and still can't imagine leaving him all day to go to work and I'm so lucky I've not had to. He had his first sleep over with my sister a few months ago, and I sobbed my socks off when he went off with her, he was absolutely fine and had a grand old time, I was beside myself, he has since slept out once more and I was much better! :-)

ailsasheldon · 30/09/2017 12:09

I went back to work after 4 months after by daughter and then my twins. I think they need parental input more when they are older and I was lucky to have a great childminder. I would have been worried about getting deskilled taking longer off from work.

strawberrisc · 30/09/2017 12:25

My daughter is 13 and we couldn't be closer (to give the story some context).

I remember going back to work when she was six months old and bursting into tears. My colleagues all rallied around and told me I'd be fine and that I'd be seeing her in a few hours. I didn't have the heart to tell them they were tears of joy!

CheeseAtFourpence · 30/09/2017 15:59

I didn't really have a choice as we needed my salary. However I was lucky in that I could return part time. And whilst I cried solidly for 2 days before my first day back, I made the right choice. Part time hours have held me back in terms of my progression with the stereotypes attached to being "only part time" 🙄 however nowhere near as much as if I'd taken a break from work.

ScissorBow · 30/09/2017 23:15

I go to work for me. I want my own money, independence, identity and to use my brain for more than life admin. Non paid mothers are the kinds of saints I will never be. They have endless patience and are under valued and under paid.

I have little patience with drudgery and hate the sound of my own voice. Asking the same little people to do the same thing several times a day drives me nuts! I love them to bits but absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I am a better mother for working and I can have an identity as me not just 'DDs' mum.

WonderLime · 01/10/2017 11:10

I am currently on Mat leave, but I will be returning as we will struggle with only DP's wage so there is little choice.

However, as much as I love DS, I would still want to do some work anyway as I find working rewarding (especially with my job). Ideally I would only work 3 days a week, but for our finances I would be going back 4 days per week instead.

rachaelsit · 01/10/2017 17:43

I felt totally unsupported upon return (I didn't struggle) and as if it was just expected I would go right back to business as usual.

There was no option for phased return. Even getting to go back on a Wednesday not a Monday (so doing a 3 day week) to start, caused a rift.

Very weird

rachaelsit · 01/10/2017 17:44

I had a year off and I have no option to go part time other than leave. I know people will say 'they can't do that' etc. But 'they' can and they do

liane1987 · 01/10/2017 17:58

My main worries are have my colleagues moved on, do they still need me? Can they manage without me and my job? Im also really worried ill miss my little one so much, ill be distracted at work and not preform how i used to in regards meeting deadlines.

EasterRobin · 02/10/2017 04:38

i was very pleased to get back to work after 10 months of maternity leave. Working is so much easier than being a full time mum. DH was originally planning to be a SAHP after I went back to work, but after a few months he decided that it wasn't right for him either and he would prefer to work too. SAHPs have our utmost respect: it is an exhausting thing to do full time.

lexy2009 · 02/10/2017 12:35

I found going back to work after my babies very stressful. I was lucky I could afford to work less. I love the craic of working and the money of course. I find now I don't work as much I'm seen as the house skivvy and I'm do things I never would of done.