What are your thoughts about returning to work after having a baby? Tell Fairy Non Bio to win a £300 voucher NOW CLOSED

[JustineBMumsnet]

As part of our partnership with Fairy Non Bio, we’ve produced the Mumsnet Babies Podcast. There are ten episodes in the series, and the ninth is about going back to work after having a baby. Fairy Non Bio would like you to listen to it here and share your thoughts and experiences on this thread.

How did you make the choice between staying at home or going back to work with a new baby? Do you consider your career an important part of your identity that you couldn’t bear to give up? Perhaps you’re happier at home with your children? Maybe your partner is better at domestic-life than you, making them the clear choice to be the primary stay-at-home-parent?

Perhaps the cost of childcare or the logistics of going back to work mean that being a stay-at-home-parent isn’t a choice for you? Or, is going back to work a necessity to afford day-to-day life?

Whatever your experience and thoughts about going back to work with a baby, post this below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

If you’d like to rate the Mumsnet Babies Podcast, please go to the iTunes store to add a review.

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

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I went back to work after dc1, it sort of felt like what you do now, I didn't really think about not working, just negotiating part time /job share. After dc2, I realised I was going to make a small loss each month for the first 6 months, and then after that, would be effectively working for only about £20 a week after childcare and commuting costs, so it became a question of if I wanted to work or not - something I hadn't even entertained after dc1.

Dc2 had just started school and once the first few weeks are out of the way, I always intended to start looking for work, but now I'm not sure I really want to go back to what I was doing before. Seems quite liberating to be able to completely start again.

I am very resentful of not having been able to go back to work. I would not have had children had I realised our situation would have confined me to this. Huge regrets.

I want back to work f/t when DC was 10 months old and it was hard but I knew that I needed to keep my skills up to date and it was helpful that while I was off I was offered a promotion to come back to a more senior role.

For me it was a longer term view. We could have afforded for me to take 4/5 years off until DC went to school but the reality was that I would be unlikely to be able go straight back into a role at a similar level.

I'm dreading going back to work to be honest. I worry what I will miss out on while I am at work. Unfortunately, we can't afford for me not to work.

I went back to work after 11 months. I knew I wanted to go back to work - I have a job I love. Originally I thought I'd go back 4 days and DH would drop to 4 days and DS would go to nursery for 3 days, but DH has given up work and is now the 'primary carer' so i am working full time. I often work away and it's really hard being away from our son. But i know he's being brilliantly looked after which gives me so much more peace of mind. I do have to remind myself that I'm also contributing to his life - my wages pay fur everything we do, everything at home and will give him lots of opportunities. And he'll see his mum doing a job she loves and appreciate the time he has with his dad.

I was dreading going back to work last morning nth after a year off with my first DD but have actually found I'm really enjoying it. The mix of something else to do, knowing she is enjoying time with my DM and at nursery, combined with actually earning money is brilliant. Am only working three days at the moment, and likely will be until she is at school, but it really is so much better than I expected.

Staying at home would have been amazing. I adored every day with my child... including the days I was crying in the bathroom because he wouldn't stop screaming.
Being there for him was so important to me, but being able to afford to feed him, buy a house, have heating etc was far more important. We don't live in the best area and I'm working to hard to buy us a house somewhere better. I don't even care about my dream home or any of my future goals. It's all about my son. I've takes a step back in my career so I can spent more time with
My baby. It's the hardest thing in the world. Every day I go to work in tears but I know it's for the best. It doesn't matter if in his favourite person, as long as he is healthy, warm and loved, I'd work 24/7

It's a while since I returned to work, but the one lasting memory I have is of turning up regularly with puke on my shoulder that I hadn't noticed. This was soon followed by snot on my skirt once they were standing!

IndianaMoleWoman. Firstly well done to you for losing all the weight that you have. Secondly, although you still feel potential employers would dismiss you due to appearance it really isn't true.

I started a completely new path at the age of 50. I'd just put on 3 stone being miserable (doing a PGCE!) and had never been interested in clothes so didn't know where to start. Yet here I am being groomed for a management role. If I can do it at 50, you definitely can at your age.

1. Think about all those skills that you have from teaching. Planning, organisation, presentation and delivery, meeting deadlines, thinking on your feet. And a million more. Hopefully that will boost your confidence a bit.
2. Which bits did you actually like best? And which type of jobs could those skills transfer to?
3. Get your cv written. Put those transferable skills on there, with an example if possible so that potential employers can get an idea of what you can do.
4. Reed.co.uk website is your friend. Put your cv on there and follow through the process of completing your profile. It took me a couple of weeks to get it right.
5. Do a search on jobs in your area and see what comes up.

I put in anything that was within a mile of my home town as I had no idea what I wanted to do! I ended up working in a bank and now a building society. They like people who are very organised, understand confidentiality and can talk to different people some of whom might be difficult! All skills you have in spades! Lots of my colleagues are women of a certain age and are above our 'fighting weight'. But we do our jobs well and are valued. And there's a uniform so no clothes worries.

So that's one idea for you. The pay is nowhere near as good as teaching but I have a life after work. I get 5 weeks holiday a year with often the option to 'buy' another week. Some colleagues work part time (but there are some Saturdays). There are loads of opportunities out there that you don't know about yet. And if you could handle a job in teaching you can do anything!

Sorry, derailed a bit!

I went back to work when DS was 3 months but DH was a SAHD so it wasn't so bad. When DH went back to Uni, DS was fine at nursery so I thought we had it cracked.

When DD came along I went back to work when she was about 1. DD went to nursery and HATED it. Our circumstances had changed and DH had a well paid job by then so I became a SAHM and loved it. Best thing I ever did. But all good things come to an end so I'm a wage slave again!

I returned to work at 7 months. I am a university academic who's passionately in love with her area of research, and am very driven and aspirational.

We have a fabulous childminder and my husband and I love every bit of our lives with our nearly two year old. He is blossoming before our eyes and we somehow have never felt we are missing out on anything.

I wouldn't change one single thing about my life as it stands right now :)

It never occurred to me not to go back. We had to take a mortgage break for a couple of months of my maternity leave and I hated not having my own money. The good childcare near my work place made it so much easier for me to return when my son was ten months old because I could
Pop Over and breast feed him during the day and I was also able to pump in a private place.

I went back 4 months after having dc1. Only for 2 days a week. I was supposed to be off for the full 40 weeks but the woman who the company employed to cover while I was off left. After having dc2 I had the full 40 weeks maternity leave then went back to my previous employer. They had taken somebody on permanently to cover me instead of just while I was off so I went back and could there was nothing for me to do. I would have went crazy sitting round doing nothing all day so I left and got a temporary position at another company but it was full time. I hated it. I dropped my 2 dcs at nursery at 7am and collected them at 6pm so I didn't see them at all really through the week. I worked alternative Saturdays then Sundays were spent doing shopping, housework and laundry so no quality family time and tbh by the time I'd paid for childcare for 2 i was no better off financially. I went back to my previous employer in another role for 4 days a week. Then I had dc3 was off 10 months using maternity and annual leave. Worked out well as it meant I got the summer holidays off with the older 2. I then went back 3 days a week. My grandmother does childcare for me 2 days and a friend for the other day. I need to work these 3 days to pay the bills. If I could afford it I wouldn't have went back to work until youngest started reception. Youngest is due to start nursery in January and using the 30 hours of childcare I will be working 3 full days and 1 short day 9-2 a wek.

I took a two year break after my first and was more than ready to go back to work. I needed it for my own sanity! I went back part time and I think it meant I really made the most of the days off I had with him.

I work full time but really wish I didn't. I don't have a choice. My employer refuses to allow me to be part time of any sort. What child/family unfriendly place do I work in? A school. I'm a senior leader in a school and have been refused part time. All similar jobs at other schools are advertised as not being open to job share. I wouldn't enjoy being a SAHM but I would rather that than working FT but finances do not allow that. :-(

I had my kids late (not planned late, just hadn't met the right man) so had worked a very long time before I became a mother - long enough to have adequate savings/paid off enough of the mortgage that having to return to work was thankfully something I didn't need to do for financial reasons - so I didn't. My last job didn't define me, and actually, I didn't like it, except it paid decently, so that was that. I don't miss work one little bit, and love being a SAHM.

I'm due back to work in December/ January after maternity leave with Dd2. I took a year with Dd1 and a year for Dd2. After Dd1 I went back to work and arranged flexible working, changing from full time work to 3 days a week. This felt like the right balance between keeping my career and also having time with Dd1.
When I go back to work this time I'm very aware that I won't have the same amount of time on my two non-working days with Dd2 that I did with Dd1, until Dd1 starts school in September 2018. I am looking forward to going back and having some time to myself and challenging my mind. And having a break from temper tantrums and constant parenting. I'm not looking forward to the costs of childcare, sorting drop off and pick ups, and missing out on time with the two of them.
It's a really hard balance. We need for me to work to afford the mortgage and bills, but if we didn't need me to work I'm not sure I would be suited to be a SAHM full time...

I managed to negotiate a job share which has been amazing, we are celebrating our 5 year anniversary this year! It works very well for us both and allows flexibility, we are always ready to dive in if the other has any issues. For me my work is really important. One of my children has additional needs and this helps me keep some perspective when things feel overwhelming.

It has been five years since I last worked and I have found it difficult as I have worked from the time I left school. I haven't followed a career but applied for anything I believe I can do. So I have been a chambermaid, a waitress, a catering assistant, a receptionist, an administrator, worked in sales for several different sectors and a stock handler in warehouses, a milk bottling plant, support worker in mental health and re-hab. Along the way I have gained varied skills and experience and two N.VQ's. As I had twins I have had my hands full to add to that some health problems and the time has flown. Now they have started school I know I can return to work. I wanted to sooner but the cost of nursery care made it impossible. I don't want to return to support work I find it very rewarding but feel it would be too much responsibility to carry along side family life. I like to feel I'm making a difference but feel the priority is to my family. I want to give my best also to my employer but not to neglect my family so I will seek part time work maybe a few hours early in the morning so I can be back when my husband goes to work. This way I won't have a problem if the children are ill or in the holidays. I have lost some confidence and worry about the changes in technology since I last worked so I'm going to go to a job club to get fired up. It was only in the time I have not worked I realised how much is wrapped up in the value we feel from a job, but I'm grateful I have the opportunity to be a mum the most rewarding experience of my life so far.

I'd always been quite career oriented and worked very hard at progressing prior to having my first.

I really didn't foresee how much I'd love maternity leave and by the time it had ended I really wasn't bothered about going back at all. In the end I went back part time mainly because financially we couldn't afford for me to leave altogether.

I think I've got quite a nice work/life balance at the minute but I would still love to be a sahm.

I have twins and full time childcare for them is £1700 a month. That's my entire wage and then some. They'd need to be in nursery 8-6 every day so we'd hardly see them.
I did request to go part time, but this was turned down.
I handed my notice in and everyone was surprised that I didn't just "suck up" the lack of salary. We would have been over £400 a month worse off with me working full time!

It has all worked out for the best - one of my twins became quite ill and couldn't have gone into childcare anyway when she was at home, so I'd have had to take months of unpaid leave. Plus juggling appointments at 4 different hospitals across the region!
The bulk of the childcare falls to me - DH works away for much of the time on a different continent, so it wasn't practical to build him into the childcare routine.

I won't be returning to my job as a primary school teacher. I have 16 week old twins and the cost of child care plus petrol for commuting is more than what I earn! I like it but not enough to work for free!
However I will be doing some turor If to earn some money, which can be done when my husband or family are around to help with childcare.
When the three year old funding comes through I will then look into getting another teaching position.

*turor=tutoring

I am still on maternity leave. However I had felt stuck in a rut for a long time before I fell pregnant and having my twins has shown me that there is more to life than work and therefore I will be reducing my hours and spending more time with my children. It has also shown me that working in a job that you don't like is so detrimental so I will be looking to move out of my current job as soon as possible. I am keen to investigate a couple of other careers as well and potentially becoming self-employed so that I can show my twins that they can achieve anything that they are passionate about.

I took a "kind of" career break when I had dd in that for a couple of years instead of teaching in a school I relied on tutoring and private lessons. It wasn't perfect and I quickly realised I could only "rely" on it for pin money. Students cancel, don't pay and obviously you have still already sorted out the childcare as it's unfeasable to tutor someone while your baby is present. Added to this the simple fact I just found it totally boring and as though my brain was going into atrophy, and I made my way back into school teaching asap.
No regrets whatsoever. I'm no housewife or SAHM and when did was little I felt the time we did spend together (and still do) was pure quality time.
Oh, and obviously I like the money coming in regularly too!
Would I have chosen not to go back had we been financially comfortable enough? Probably actually, because I still think that despite the strides made for women and work, we are still pushed into defining ourselves as mothers, especially when our children are younger. Would I have regretted doing that? Absolutely.