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MNHQ

What are your thoughts about returning to work after having a baby? Tell Fairy Non Bio to win a £300 voucher NOW CLOSED

341 replies

JustineBMumsnet · 15/09/2017 10:45

As part of our partnership with Fairy Non Bio, we’ve produced the Mumsnet Babies Podcast. There are ten episodes in the series, and the ninth is about going back to work after having a baby. Fairy Non Bio would like you to listen to it here and share your thoughts and experiences on this thread.

How did you make the choice between staying at home or going back to work with a new baby? Do you consider your career an important part of your identity that you couldn’t bear to give up? Perhaps you’re happier at home with your children? Maybe your partner is better at domestic-life than you, making them the clear choice to be the primary stay-at-home-parent?

Perhaps the cost of childcare or the logistics of going back to work mean that being a stay-at-home-parent isn’t a choice for you? Or, is going back to work a necessity to afford day-to-day life?

Whatever your experience and thoughts about going back to work with a baby, post this below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

If you’d like to rate the Mumsnet Babies Podcast, please go to the iTunes store to add a review.

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

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What are your thoughts about returning to work after having a baby? Tell Fairy Non Bio to win a £300 voucher NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
Dessallara · 06/10/2017 12:27

I have 2 daughters and both times it was really hard to return back to work and I'm only part-time until they'll get bigger

greensmith68 · 06/10/2017 12:38

with my 1st i went back to work when she was 3 my second when he was 2 and my 3rd when he was 6 months but i feel i missed out on so much of him growing up it still pains me now when i think about it

VickyRsuperstar · 06/10/2017 12:50

I can't return to work full time immediately this time as I feel that my family need me as I will have several small children. I will return to work full time when my baby goes into nursery classes at school as childcare will be too expensive where I live. In the mean time I will try to get my skills up to scratch and I will have to look for something part time/weekend or work at home.

Lulabellx1 · 06/10/2017 13:03

I returned to work Full Time and have found that this is very rare. My partner worked nights so it meant that he could look after the kids in the day and I could work. I enjoy working, but did miss them in the beginning. I used to make sure that we did lots of fun stuff together in the evenings and weekends which helped a lot. The time we did get, was quality time.

helcrai · 06/10/2017 14:30

I went back to work full-time when DD1 was one year old. It was partly financial reasons but also a big part of it was wanting to keep my own identity and a fear of losing my place in a profession that I had worked for years to establish myself in. Two years later pregnant with DD2( and almost burned out!) I took a year off on maternity leave and was intending to work part time on my return- I never went back. After DD2 was born I had a sudden realisation of what I had missed first time around going back to work full time. The decision to leave my career wasn't easy- it meant huge cutbacks in our expenditure and no more luxuries. I would have been paying out hefty sums from my salary anyway though if I had gone back to work in childcare and domestic help as I often worked away. At first the adjustment was hard- I didn't enjoy being at home all the time and felt isolated, but the bond I have now with my children is irreplaceable. I must admit there are days when I wonder whether I could have balanced the two- career and children- I am struggling to find a job now after quite a few years off and doubt I can get back into the profession I left due to qualifications having lapsed, but overall I think I made the right decision. I have two very happy, secure children.

FizzySmiles · 06/10/2017 14:41

Going back to work is definitely a hard choice. Do we struggle and make Do, if I go back to work I'll be something other than mum, if I stay at home I'll spend more time with the children, if they go to nursery whilst I work they'll be more independent.

The whole of my maternity leave I've been throwing these questions around. I love doing all the house work and being a stay at home mum but not sure if I'll love as much a year down the line or if financially we will love it as much.

sarahw2 · 06/10/2017 19:35

I went back to work when my first son was 6 weeks old Shock. I was young and thought I could do it all, and I really really regret it. With my second son I had two years off, as by that time we could afford it. I just feel that it's so hard to find jobs that are flexible enough for those with small children.

molly57 · 06/10/2017 21:43

Spend as much time at home with your little one as possible.

fairyprincess79 · 06/10/2017 22:48

I've 3 little girls under 5 so have experienced this situation 3 times and each time with different feelings....

The first time, fear - of 'can I still do my job?' along with how will my baby by without me. Dreaded it. It took a few weeks to settle back in but once i did, I enjoyed the routine and 'me time', the chance to use my brain again!

The second time I knew what was coming. I was still sad to leave my baby at nursery but this time it was also a sense of juggling! Now there were 2 little people to drop off etc!

Third time, the juggling and cost of childcare simply didn't stack up to returning to work. So I set up my own business that I now do in my child free hours (think 8pm!)

GeorgeW78 · 06/10/2017 23:26

It was really a necessity to go back to work for financial reasons. I thought I'd miss work more than I did but also I feel it's important to keep my hand in. At work I miss home and at home I miss work (sometimes!) ;)

Wishingandwaiting · 07/10/2017 08:53

I’m nervous about the return to work.

Newly single mother to two young children. I’ve been out of the workplace for 8 years so I worry about my computer skills being deficient. Most of all though I worry about childcare and making sure minimal disruption to my children.

There is a little bit of me though that is rather excited at the prospect!

goldenretriever1978 · 08/10/2017 20:59

I didn't want to go back to work but it was a financial necessity.

tishist · 09/10/2017 00:46

I think it feels naturally strange to go back to work and be away from your new child, but feel it keeps your sanity to have another 'side' to you rather than just the pressure of your new role!

luthien108 · 09/10/2017 12:25

I went back to work the week my son turned 9 months. I would have loved to take the year off however we could not afford for me to do so. I went back full time which came as a surprise to many but again, we could not afford for me not to.
After suffering with anxiety post-birth, returning to work helped me by reminding me that I am not just 'Mummy' but I am also a person.
I do get a lot of comments about my full time return and also the fact that my son is in nursery 5 full days a week. I feel guilty that other people are with my child doing activities during these early formative years but he is so happy in nursery and is doing more than I would be able to do at home so I am at peace with my decision on the whole. Plus they have to clean up after his eating which is no easy task!

sorrycamel · 09/10/2017 13:10

I felt I had to go back to work as I had worked long and hard for my career and I didn't want to pack it in. It is bittersweet - t here are days that I miss spending time with my child and there are days when I am pleased that he gets to experience new things with his carers. He has such fun with them and they are way more enthusiastic and child oriented than me.

SillyMoomin · 09/10/2017 16:43

Two thoughts:

  1. I'm glad to be at work for my own personal and mental life

  2. I miss the DC

It's a constant internal battle

Wjjkl · 10/10/2017 20:35

I went back to work after my first to a different, more local job. Although I find it less professionally satisfying, it does give me the flexibility to be there quickly should he be ill or need to come home from nursery. I want to be at the school gates to do pick ups when the time comes for him to go to school and being local allows me to do this - worth it for me although it does mean my career takes a back seat. They're only little once

demure28sg · 11/10/2017 12:46

its better to stay with the baby first for the maximum number of months you can so you can give him the love,care and time. its best for you to see the first things in his life..first time to smile, first crawl,first meal, first time to say mum or mama, a lot of first time really.i know its not practical at times especially if we have bills to pay. its not the best solution when we are career minded people but i tell you no money can buy the happiness when you have witnessed all the first times in your baby's life! ur emotioanal bond with ur baby will also grow deeper and you get to know each other more.

duck22 · 12/10/2017 10:17

After having my first, I was looking forward to going back to work. I worked 4 days and found it to be a great balance between spending time with my son and feeling like I'm achieving something for myself. I've just had my second who is one month old. I'm in no rush at the moment, but that may change in 11 months time.

StillCantDecideOnaUsername · 12/10/2017 15:44

Although the childcare costs made it really not worth going back to work financially, I feel it was definitely the right decision. I am lucky to work for a flexible company, have an understanding boss and work part time in a job share. I really feel like I have managed to get the work/ life balance just right at the moment.

sealight123 · 12/10/2017 21:00

Truthfully, for me I couldn't wait to get back to work. Although I love my daughter more than anything, being a mum wasn't (and still isn't) the only part of me.

At first, I would have been more well off if I chose to not work but my mental health would have suffered from it

Jayfee · 15/10/2017 19:22

Free at last!! But I always feel as though I have done a days work getting the kids to school before the work day starts.

FridgeCut · 29/10/2017 21:35

After my first I went back full time, but it was tiring being on the road / away on business most weeks. When I had my second I knew it wasn't what I wanted so I quit. I spent 18 months as a SAHM and now I am a WAHM working freelance for an App. I work 28 hours most weeks from home around my children, it doesn't pay well but is otherwise utterly perfect for me.

Wishingandwaiting · 30/10/2017 06:44

Recently single mum here. SAHM for 8 years but will be returning next year.

The key will be can I find a good nanny. I don’t want the children in after school care, I want them to be able to do their after school clubs and / or chill at home.

I do not want the fact that I am a single mum and need to return to work so affect them so I’m willing to suck up the eye watering cost of a before and after school nanny.

Thankfully will be only for 3 days. The part time flexibility will be astoundingly helpful.

ThenBellaDidSomethingVeryKind · 30/10/2017 09:01

Going back to work was a no-brainer for me. From a mental health perspective, I needed the stimulation and the time with adults, and was lucky enough the second time around to be able to secure a part time role which gives me the best of both worlds. The downside is that for now, almost all of my wage goes on childcare (nursery & childminder fees). I feel it's an investment for the future though.