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MNHQ

What are your thoughts about returning to work after having a baby? Tell Fairy Non Bio to win a £300 voucher NOW CLOSED

341 replies

JustineBMumsnet · 15/09/2017 10:45

As part of our partnership with Fairy Non Bio, we’ve produced the Mumsnet Babies Podcast. There are ten episodes in the series, and the ninth is about going back to work after having a baby. Fairy Non Bio would like you to listen to it here and share your thoughts and experiences on this thread.

How did you make the choice between staying at home or going back to work with a new baby? Do you consider your career an important part of your identity that you couldn’t bear to give up? Perhaps you’re happier at home with your children? Maybe your partner is better at domestic-life than you, making them the clear choice to be the primary stay-at-home-parent?

Perhaps the cost of childcare or the logistics of going back to work mean that being a stay-at-home-parent isn’t a choice for you? Or, is going back to work a necessity to afford day-to-day life?

Whatever your experience and thoughts about going back to work with a baby, post this below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

If you’d like to rate the Mumsnet Babies Podcast, please go to the iTunes store to add a review.

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

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What are your thoughts about returning to work after having a baby? Tell Fairy Non Bio to win a £300 voucher NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
MAT12 · 05/10/2017 07:55

I went back to work after my little one was a year, I would of loved to stay at home longer but we were not financially able to however i was able to go back part-time and was lucky enough to find an amazing child miner.

Polyanthus · 05/10/2017 08:36

Everyone should do what they think is best for their family in the circumstances they are in - there are no right or wrong approaches.

I've freelanced since having children and have had periods of not working at pretty much all stages of my children's lives and actually I think it's been most helpful when my children were older than babies.

allibaby · 05/10/2017 08:45

It's difficult as I for one wanted to spend as much time as possible at home with my babies but circumstances meant I had to return quite quickly.
I don't think it has done my children any harm but for me it has left me feeling like I have missed out on some of their most precious moments.

Loftzilla · 05/10/2017 10:27

When I had my first son I thought I had to do everything myself, I'd had him so I had to raise him, thinking it was the best and only way. On many years' reflection this is only the best if you enjoy the day to day routine of child rearing and if your heart is not in it you should let those who do enjoy it take some of the strain while you do what you do best! Then the time you spend with your child or children becomes special and more memorable, much better than a grumpy mum! I went back to work when my second son went to school and it was the best thing I did for my sons and for me!

hdh747 · 05/10/2017 10:46

I think there are so many different options that work for different people and there are benefits and difficulties with them all. What saddens me is when mums judge other mums for making different choices.

DinosaurSex · 05/10/2017 14:52

I took the opportunity of my maternity leave to go back to university full time and retrain for a new career, so my husband took a step down to part time hours so our son only had a couple of days in nursery at 9 months. Now he's nearly 3 and in nursery full time because he loved it so much and I will be able to enter a new career by the time he's in school. We're fortunate to live in a cheap part of the country which helped make this possible.

cluckyhen · 05/10/2017 17:48

I loved going back to work after both my children as I was lucky enough to have a very supportive boss. My leave was in the 12 weeks mat leave days though so I wasn't out of the loop forever and childcare was kept for my hubby and friends as I worked flexi hours on evenings

Nettie17 · 05/10/2017 19:26

I went back to work part time and still found it stressful when the babies were poorly, with no one to support me it was like trying to please everyone, badly

snare · 05/10/2017 20:09

I would for a lovely family friendly employer which has made going back so much easier

P3anut1 · 05/10/2017 20:27

FTM and absolutely loving every second of mat leave! I guess I'm lucky that we can manage for me to take 9 months off (+1 month of outstanding annual leave) however with 6 months to go I'm already dreading it!
My hours are long and involve shift work which will mean some weeks I'll be lucky to see my LO awake when I leave/get home :(

sammylea80 · 05/10/2017 20:42

For most it's the only financially viable option, but it is soul destroying to see most of the hard earned money going on child care. It's a shame that businesses don't club together to fund a local creche for employees

svalentine60 · 05/10/2017 20:54

There was never any choice for me really. I chose to have a baby and in doing that, the baby had to come first. As bonding, love and emotional ties with the baby is more important than a career for me and I would imagine for anyone, i decided to give up my job as i didn't want to leave the baby every day with child minders they would bond with instead of me. I was very lucky that my boss thought i was good at my job and didn't want to lose me and a compromise was reached so that i could work from home 3 days of the week and the other two days would be just 4 hours. He was so amazing that my wages weren't cut at all.

lori6290 · 05/10/2017 21:39

I think you should leave it as long as you possibly can! Having a baby is the most amazing thing and I wouldn't want to miss a minute! Who wants a childcare provider to see all your babys firsts! Steps, words, smiles! I wouldnt want to miss anything!

jtl1131 · 05/10/2017 22:05

I think its all down to personal circumstance, sadly some cant spend as much time at home as others, i've been lucky to spend a lot of time home with my babies (were due number 7 next month) Hubby on the other hand takes very little time off but we both feel the time he does take is enough and were still comfortable financially

fayesmummy · 05/10/2017 22:06

Its so difficult. I went back when my mat leave finished with all 3 of my girls for financial reasons. I wish I'd been able to take more time off but it just wasn't possible. I feel proud that I'm teaching my children about earning a living (my 15 yo has a p/t job) but I do hate it if I'm not able attend events such as class assemblies.

cathryn1 · 05/10/2017 22:37

I wanted to go back to work - luckily I was able to go back part time best of both world

embabes7 · 05/10/2017 22:38

I wanted more time with my son and was very nervous however, after the first week it felt like i'd never been away - it was good to have some adult time and although i missed my son terribly it was a relief to use a different part of my brain again!

Gill81uk · 05/10/2017 22:49

I went back to work after my first child. I was glad to get back and rediscover myself again, and it was nice coming home to a tidy house! After my second child it was too much, and as we don't have any local support we would have had to use childcare for both, which wouldn't have been cost effective.

FrenchieMum2Be · 05/10/2017 23:01

After my first baby, it was a no brainer as my husband was out fo work and we needed the money... So I went back to work quite quickly (and was unhappy about it, it was too soon). I'm currently on mat leave for second child and to be honest I'm dreading going back. I really hopw I can come up with a business idea to keep me from returning.

JayJay1874 · 05/10/2017 23:55

It's a tough choice and really difficult to leave baby but sometimes needs must and hard decisions have to be made. If it's financially viable when childcare is taken into consideration it may have to happen

pinkspideruk · 06/10/2017 06:06

I think you should go back to work after having a baby - especially if you have a company that can be flexible around hours - so you can cut them down if needed but still continue to progress with your career.

myboycraig · 06/10/2017 08:17

I go back to work in January and I'm absolutely dreading it 😞. I'm loving spending time with my family.

piggypoo · 06/10/2017 08:18

I was fortunate enough to be able to take a couple of years off, but then felt I wanted to try being self-employed. DH works for himself, but I wanted to see if I could try working from home. I couldn't face the thought of having to go back to an office, with the anxiety of driving through traffic, being late home, and decided that I wasn't going to work to pay for babysitters. Initially we took a pay-cut with me not going back to work, but the quality of life and time I spent with DC's was well worth it.

baconbap · 06/10/2017 09:58

I don't think you can tell what's best till the actual time

lucyrobinson · 06/10/2017 12:18

I went back part time after having my kiddies. I was only able to do this with the help from family. I would have found it extremely difficult to have gone back to work leaving my kiddies with others. For me work has taken a back seat. Maybe if I had a well paid important job I may have thought differently.