AIBU to ask my DCs to cry using their inside voices? - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED

[CountOlaf]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to my first AIBU. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Count Olaf - the handsome, talented, actor extraordinaire. I have recently adopted the three ungrateful Baudelaire orphans after their parents perished in a house fire (perished means killed). I have kindly told them that my home is their home - but they must not touch anything. I have even provided a single bed for the three of them to share out of the kindness of my heart.

After instructing them to do simple tasks such as to clean the filthy bathroom using only toothbrushes, and to cook me and my theatre troop a delicious meal, they have the cheek to complain! They didn’t even applaud my theatre group's impeccable performance!

AIBU to think they are being spoilt brats and have a dangerous abundance of selfish disregard for me, IYSWIM? Tell me what you think and I will give one of you a £300 voucher - don’t ask me where I got the money from.

If you think I am BU, you are WRONG! Anyway, the theatre awaits…

Your Greatness,

Count Olaf

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

Meh!

Everyone nows the plural of bed is bed. Such nowledge.

You seem awfully mean and I cannot possibly condone this treatment and if you give me the money, my little angels will be pampered ha ha ha!

YANBU
Move em to Yorkshire, give em a hole in t'road that'll teach em.
Snivelling wastrels.

Reported. I suspect this is a pbp. Seriously, could your post be any more inflammatory? Who in their right mind would believe these kids could possible complain about their lot in life? Nonsense

No

Is a complete sentence. Except it's not when you have to explain it.

Bumping for you, OP

You are being very unreasonable! If you let children cry out loud they tire themselves quicker therefore sleep earlier and more peaceful for you.

I don't see the big deal

Not at all - I tell mine that every time they cry for no reason a kitten will die

you just need to take control of any situation ..

I'd just put them in boarding school if I were you.

What happens if I ask where the money comes from?

For what it's worth, toothbrushes are good for cleaning bathrooms. 😂😂

YANBU but you clearly need to teach these kids more manners :/

YANBU at all - you provided money and resources to cook with; and rocks to sleep on as well as a bed. They are so ungrateful, clearly because they were spoilt.

But I do think you ought to try to get them involved in a performance. Perhaps just the oldest two, I'm sure they'd like to dress up and follow your lead - do you have a bride and a sailor role they could assist with?

I am very confused.

I suggest searching for the Mortificado Dragon, he may be able to keep them in line, little bastards!

Of course not. A whole single bed? There's plenty of space for 6 more workers children, width ways.

The only thing that sounds unreasonable is that you gave them a toothbrush to clean the toilet- what a waste of a toothbrush. They have hands and I'm sure they could use a sock if they didn't want to use their hands.
A whole bed seems awfully generous, there is nothing wrong with a camp mat and itchy wool blanket.

You should also make them yawn through their eyes too!

YANBU, they should do everything inside with their inside voices !!! ahem

Cancel the cheque.

Social services have been informed!!

LTB(s)

Penguin bollards is what you need Google them, you'll see what I mean.

then they will haunt your internet for ever and ever and ever

:o