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Original poster

AIBU to ask my DCs to cry using their inside voices? - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED

211 replies

CountOlaf · 20/01/2017 09:16

Welcome, welcome, welcome to my first AIBU. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Count Olaf - the handsome, talented, actor extraordinaire. I have recently adopted the three ungrateful Baudelaire orphans after their parents perished in a house fire (perished means killed). I have kindly told them that my home is their home - but they must not touch anything. I have even provided a single bed for the three of them to share out of the kindness of my heart.

After instructing them to do simple tasks such as to clean the filthy bathroom using only toothbrushes, and to cook me and my theatre troop a delicious meal, they have the cheek to complain! They didn’t even applaud my theatre group's impeccable performance!

AIBU to think they are being spoilt brats and have a dangerous abundance of selfish disregard for me, IYSWIM? Tell me what you think and I will give one of you a £300 voucher - don’t ask me where I got the money from.

If you think I am BU, you are WRONG! Anyway, the theatre awaits…

Your Greatness,

Count Olaf

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AIBU to ask my DCs to cry using their inside voices? - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED
AIBU to ask my DCs to cry using their inside voices? - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED
AIBU to ask my DCs to cry using their inside voices? - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
MargoChanning · 22/01/2017 18:03

U ok hun?

RueDeWakening · 22/01/2017 19:03

YABVVVVVU, I think you need the help of a parenting guru. I would have recommended the Baby Whisperer but she's perished dead, so it'll have to be GF instead. Bound to work. You'll have them licked into shape in no time.

Andcake · 22/01/2017 20:05

Yanbu children these days are so entitled and need to pull their own weight ASAP

ActuallyThatsSUPREMECommander · 22/01/2017 20:39

Yes I'm sure that She Who Must Not Be Named could help out. If she's busy then I gather He Who Must Not Be Named is also normally good with babies although everyone has the odd failure.

SouthWestmom · 22/01/2017 22:59

I'm sure it hasn't crossed your mind, but did their parents leave any kind of inheritance? Because you really should safeguard that I think.

herebehippos · 22/01/2017 23:22

Yanbu- using children's toothbrushes to clean toilets is a much better idea than those horrid unsightly toilet brushes...

hdh747 · 23/01/2017 05:26

This is blowing my mind! I am clearly way too leniant a parent.

NauticalDisaster · 23/01/2017 06:03

YADBU - for being a mansplaining GF Biscuit

alabaster002 · 23/01/2017 06:11

How do they cook and clean if they can't touch anything? Sounds like Sorcerers Apprentice to me - I'd send them away before they trash the joint.........

winterpark · 23/01/2017 06:24

I think those children are lucky to have you 😉

Cathp808 · 23/01/2017 06:38

Just give them an ipad and they will be happy watching rubbish you tube videos all day and will be quiet for you.

Lisapaige24 · 23/01/2017 07:19

How ungrateful children always complain but you have been a bit silly telling them not to touch anything because as you know the more you tell a child not to do something it becomes like the forbidden fruit and they have to do the opposite of what you say so tell them to touch everything as long as there cleaning it otherwise you will be taking the bed off them see how much they complain then inside or outside

glenka · 23/01/2017 07:24

Can't think of anything worth saying about this it sounds stupid.

amyhalliday1 · 23/01/2017 07:35

No

ThemisA · 23/01/2017 07:54

Why not do a celebrity magazine spread of your happy family loads of money in that and you should be able to get some free clothes out of it!!

finleypop · 23/01/2017 07:55

You need to lighten up & give them a break

jacqui5366 · 23/01/2017 08:02

Interesting, unnerving, thoughtful/less comments, yes listen to your inner voice it is the only freedom you have when stuck in a cruel world, you need boundaries rules and restrictions to be prepared for your adult life, but always need your inner voice.

Ganne1 · 23/01/2017 08:35

Unreasonable? No, but you're being a little slow. Why not get them to write a series of books, and even a film and a television series about you and their lives with you. Make a bit of money out of them, for Goodness' sake.

createbeauty · 23/01/2017 09:07

Maybe social services should stop by and see if those pesky orphans are naughty....

Ladybirdtinselturd · 23/01/2017 09:08

YANBU. They sound awful. I suggest sending them to your MIL and going for a spa day. Wink

GivenupSocialmediaNOTMN · 23/01/2017 09:19

Are you trip trapping across the bridge of MN?

I don't even think you're a Count.

happysouls · 23/01/2017 09:24

Perfectly reasonable. Have you thought about hiring them out as chimney sweeps?

maryandbuzz1 · 23/01/2017 09:37

Yes very unreasonable. If the children learned to do this how would we ever find out if something was really wrong? Cooping up feelings is not healthy ...I am a firm believer that a trouble shared is a trouble halved.

GloGirl · 23/01/2017 09:39

Yes yes to children being ungrateful bastards. There's no training you can do to undo this until they grow up!!

Reow · 23/01/2017 09:45

Oh my god if only