AIBU to ask my DCs to cry using their inside voices? - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED

[CountOlaf]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to my first AIBU. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Count Olaf - the handsome, talented, actor extraordinaire. I have recently adopted the three ungrateful Baudelaire orphans after their parents perished in a house fire (perished means killed). I have kindly told them that my home is their home - but they must not touch anything. I have even provided a single bed for the three of them to share out of the kindness of my heart.

After instructing them to do simple tasks such as to clean the filthy bathroom using only toothbrushes, and to cook me and my theatre troop a delicious meal, they have the cheek to complain! They didn’t even applaud my theatre group's impeccable performance!

AIBU to think they are being spoilt brats and have a dangerous abundance of selfish disregard for me, IYSWIM? Tell me what you think and I will give one of you a £300 voucher - don’t ask me where I got the money from.

If you think I am BU, you are WRONG! Anyway, the theatre awaits…

Your Greatness,

Count Olaf

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

Do you have an other half? Because I'd say ltb for them not pulling their weight with the children.
In the mean time take a spa day/pop on CBeebies while you have a rest. The children can look after you for a change. Tabby

^ this ^

Although YABU to expect them to cook you a delicious meal. Pick up a Greggs and a fruit shoot on your way home or go out for a MacDonalds.

YBVU -smart children can be vexing but on the other hand it is your own fault for putting them on the stage. Better stick to oafs.

Absolutely, the sooner they contribute, the easier they will find the outside world

So unreasonable! Inside voices!? Pah!

HAHA Great thread!

YANBU. Under no circumstances should children scream like wailing banshees when completing their chores. Nobody wants to hear all that squawking while trying to watch daytime TV where people shout and scream at each other and generally make you feel better about being you. Selfish wretches. I think you overdid it with providing a bed.

spoilt brats

Make a list of a to do list and when they get it done they can have or do whatever they want

Are you claiming child benefit? If not I suggest you put in a claim but it won't cover the £300 voucher you are offering (I don't accept IOUs, but I need my chimneys cleaning and 3 kiddies could do the job to make up the shortfall in my prize).

YANBU - it costs a pretty penny to raise kids and they need to pull their weight.

Let them answer all those nuisance accident phonecalls and whine all they like to the people on te other end :O

Photo or it didn't happen

If only my children had an inside voice...

Everyone knows kids will just do what they want without boundaries limitations and clear instructions. If hey can't touch anything how can they cook and clean? Poor little dears are just confused. You need to start empathising with them and them reading bedtime stories. Children respond to a little kindness. Before long they will be following every wish before you've even thought it.

Maybe you havent set them clear enough boundaries , explain that some children would be grateful to have a toothbrush, let alone a spare to clean the loo with !

You could try!

Did they not shout 'we have rights' - Miss said?? Everything is bartered in this house, to the point I'm tired of even asking

Children should be seen and not heard (haha). Definitely use their inside voices to cry, who wants to hear that! I make children do plenty of chores - tidying up after themselves and helping out in the kitchen. No problems expecting them to help!

YANBU....absolutely not! To think you have furnished their room with a bed, provide them with tasks to keep boredom at bay and (I assume) feed them once a day, then, you have gone above and beyond.

TIP- ensure you are registered to receive control over their inheritance. They need your help and guidance to ensure it is spent on life's essentials, like troupe drama lessons, dinner parties and a suitable wardrobe for a man of your stature.

YANBU - I think you should give them extra chores the next day, that way they will appreciate how kind you were being the day before.

totally crazy!

Double chores tomorrow definitely!

Yes YABU just a little bit, a bit of food and drink would get them going!

YABU! Grow a heart !maybe the crying will grow on you !

As you point out, these are ungrateful children who wouldn't even applaud your performance! YANBU but they don't seem to be challenged enough. So maybe they will be more impressed if you think up even more nefarious punishments such as scrubbing the boards with cotton buds.