MN Bumpfest: Tell MNHQ what your expectations and realities were of breast feeding after giving birth – £50 voucher prize draw NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

In the run up to BumpFest (if you haven’t got your ticket yet - what are you waiting for?) we’re looking to get a better understanding of the experiences Mumsnetters have had around different issues surrounding childbirth.

Looking at the many threads on the subject, it seems that breastfeeding can often be one of the most challenging aspects of the first weeks after birth. Whether it’s deciding if it’s right for you, or to trying to achieving the perfect latch, we know that everyone has a different experience.

We are keen to find out what Mumsnetters’ initial expectations were around breast feeding, and if they were met. Whether you planned to breastfeed, planned to formula feed or ended up somewhere in the middle - we’d love to hear about your feelings on the subject, What did you base your expectations on (e.g. NCT class, stories from friends or family, books you had read)? Did you expectations turn out to be correct? If you had a subsequent birth, to what extent did your experiences of breast feeding (whether you breast fed your children or not) differ?

As a token of thanks, everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £50 John Lewis voucher.

Thanks ,

MNHQ

I planned to BF from the start, I didn't actually buy any bottles as I didn't think we would need them! My mum is a retired HV and very pro-BF, and helped me to get started - she was far more use that my midwife! But it didn't go as well as I'd hoped. DS had a tongue tie, which led to massively lengthy feeds (2 hours plus at times!) and poor weight gain. To begin with, my midwife was convinced the obvious tongue tie wasn't the issue, as I wasn't getting damaged nipples, but eventually I was referred to a breast feeding consultant and he had it cut at 5 weeks old.

Feeding improved then, but still remained lengthy and difficult, and his weight gain was always poor. I don't know whether it was because he missed out on "learning" to feed in the first few weeks, or whether my milk supply was poor due the early lack of stimulation. But I persevered, stubbornly, pumping to increase my flow, although I doing it hard to express much. At 5 months old, his weight fell off the bottom of the centile chart (he was on the 50th at birth), and I decided to introduce 2 formula feeds a day, but to continue breastfeeding. Well, within a week he had decided he preferred bottles - he would drain 8oz in 20 minutes, rather than the 1-2 hours he would take to satisfy himself breastfeeding, so I can't blame him really! He started refusing the breast. I persevered for another few weeks, expressing what I could and then topping up with formula, but by 7 months he was exclusively formula fed.

I was so sad to give up on my idea of EBF, but to be honest he thrived on formula in a way that he never did for the first 5 months of his life. His weight went from below the 0.4% centile to the 75th, where it remains to this day (almost 2 years old), and overnight he was a happier, more settled baby.

If I have another baby in the future, I will plan to BF again, I did love the closeness and the feeling that I was giving him the best possible start, but I won't beat myself up so badly if it doesn't work out for us.

I wasn't bothered if I bf or not and bought bottles and formula just in case. I also told the midwife that I would try it but if it didn't work out, I was not going to let them make me feel bad about it.

In hospital, I was shown about 8 different ways to bf, the midwives were too busy to wait around and help, they just grabbed the boob and shoved the baby on to it and then cleared off again.

I was told that I couldn't leave hospital until I had mastered bf, yet none of them would help me. So I said that if I got home and couldn't bf, then I would top up with bottles. Then they said I couldn't go home until I had been shown how to make a bottle! Four hours later, I asked when this would happen and they shoved a leaflet at me and discharged me.

I went home and attempted to continue with bf. DD was very distressed when lying down and would not latch on. When she did, it was painful and I hated it. I have very big boobs and I think that DD was being suffocated by them.

I asked my midwife for help and she said - you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. This was after being told in ante natal that breast was best and that a midwife would come to my house to help me bf every day if necessary.

After days/nights of me and DD both crying at every feed, I gave up after 2 weeks and put her totally onto the bottle. The result was a happy mum, a happy baby and a dad who could help with feeding.

There is not enough support out there for mums who want to breastfeed. I didn't let it get me down, but there are mums out there who feel like a failure for not doing it. There should be more support groups and more midwives.

I had planned to breast feed my baby after birth and felt it would be cake walk but I was wrong. Though dd latched on easily, my breast were very sore after first day. Colostrum was coming but I felt that nothing is coming out. After 3 day and painful breastfeeding , I introduced 1 bottle of formula in a day. Slowly breastfeeding became easier and dd was exclusively breastfed afterwards. Lactation consultant was god sent and encouraged me to carry on and not give up.

Was really looking forward to breastfeeding as an opportunity to catch up with reading/tv/emails...but turns out that baby very easily distracted so have spent lots of time staring at the walls! Having said that, I wouldn't have swapped this experience for the world - it's the one thing I've been confident at and now we're starting weaning I'm feeling very sad that my time BFing is coming to an end.
There's lots of support out there if you know where to go - amazing healthcare support workers in the antenatal unit unit, great peer supporters at the Sure Start centre, and good advice from the world via Mumsnet! It took us a while to get sorted initially but worth sticking with it - my DD is fit and healthy and I put (most of) it down to having a good tummyfull of breastmilk whenever she needs it.

I found it hard in the early days: I had two large babies who took a fair while to regain their birthweights, and was put under a huge amount of ridiculous pressure by the HCPs to switch to formula.

I wish I had known beforehand that a properly qualified bf counsellor can make all the difference. La Leche League were a total godsend to me - and with proper informed support I was able to feed both DC until they self weaned at 2.7 and 2.10 respectively.

I thought it would be gross and when I was pg, I really didn't fancy it.
and it pissed me off everytime the mw mentioned it

I felt like I was getting lectured

yet as soon as dd was born I really really wanted to
and did for 9 months

I found it hard really hard
but it was well well worth sticking with it

so be prepared to totally change your mind if your dead set against it

although ime not mant people actually admit I rl that they don't fancy it

they all sit there in antenatal classes going oh yeah im going to bf, but I doubt the are all planning on it really

top tip
never decide to stop bf in the middle of the night
it always seems more manageable in the day

and remind yourself your doing the most valuable job you can ever do thatwill benefit your child for life
so housework can wait
or better still someone else can do it

I planned to bf, bought no bottles or formula, and didn't really think much about it beyond that.

I found it a doddle from day 1. No soreness, loads of milk, happy babies.

I was very, very lucky.

I think I am probably the only one of all my friends that breast fed exclusively, found it easy and had absolutely no issues with it other than having a bit too much milk with my first.

I always planned to bf my ds, and I did - still am in fact at 14mo. I hadn't made any preparations for this to fail...no bottles or formula at home.

Was v hard for first 2 weeks, despite a wonderful older lady support worker at hospital showing me how to get started. Had it not been for her I dread to think. Seemed nurses were too busy to spend any time helping here.

Midwife came to visit day 8 to help...was brilliant. Changed the points.

Nct classes were great to tell me about getting baby latched on v soon after birth - thankyou nct!

However! No one whatsoever warned me just how much time the baby would need to be on the breast in the first 3 (?) months....I was not prepared for that & all the rubbish I read / was told about fore milk / hind milk (what rubbish!!! This stressed me out unnecessarily!). I often only offered my baby one breast each feed in the early days but he actually needed both.

Overall bf is one of the best things ever, it stops any crying, and helped me with bond with my ds. :-) brilliant!

I planned to breastfeed both times, mainly due to perceiving bottles to be expensive and a real hassle and also, first time round, with being extremely self-conscious as a young mum and wanting to be 'perfect' so that no one would have a reason to judge me. DC1 wasn't a well baby at birth and had to be fed with a syringe and then a bottle. I was so hung up on breastfeeding that I made myself ill staying up through the day and night desperately trying to express enough milk. A midwife on the post-natal ward told me that I was starving my baby and that he would be brain-damaged if he didn't get formula top-ups. I was very upset but agreed of course (wouldn't do now with the appropriate support!) and DC1 left hospital mix-fed. By 1 week I was able to express enough to drop the formula and we had a couple of months of exclusive breastfeeding from 2-4 months. I stopped breastfeeding when DC1 was 16 months old.

With DC2 I exclusively breastfed up to 6 months and am still going now she's 21 months old. I'd really like to stop but it's the only thing getting me enough sleep at the moment.

Both times it hurt a lot for a couple of weeks but was fine after that.

My DM hadn't been able to bf either me or dsis despite trying and so I thought I would try and wanted to be able to but was expecting it to be difficult/that I might not succeed.

I found it a lot easier than I was expecting, with ds1 I needed a bit of help (from specialist MW in the hospital) to get him properly latched on but as soon as that was sorted we were away and I bf him for 18mths. Ds2 I knew what I was doing and he bf straight away with no problems and bf for 18mths as well.

I found the support available through MN/NCT etc v helpful on the odd occasion I had a question or wasn't sure about anything. I also think now that if my DM had been given the right support she would have been able to bf successfully and I know she regrets not being able to.

I fully expected it to be problematic, that's all there seems to be said about it -that most people find it very very difficult.
I feel so lucky that it all went smoothly. Baby latched on immediately after birth (elective CS) and fed beautifully ever since (10 months on). I expected there to be problems, almost went looking for them. I feel we were very very lucky.

I thought I'd be a natural but it didn't happen that way. I had an emcs and my son had low blood sugar after birth, he wasn't latching so I hand expressed but his bloods still stayed low. He was given formula (loads) to get the blood sugars up, it was scary and sad.

He never latched well and I expressed for 4 month (mixed feeds if I didn't produce enough).

I had no real idea what to expect, but as dh and I were both breastfed babies, I kind of assumed I would just have a baby and feed said baby. Luckily, both of my DC were naturals,latched on fine, and I ended up feeding first for 3 yes and second for 26 months so far. First did feed constantly for the first 3 months, I think he managed 22 hrs in 24 once, latched on the whole time! I went back to work when he was 7 months old too, so although I did some expressing, he got the odd formula bottle too, which didn't bother me in the slightest, but didn't agree with his gut as well as breast milk did.

Dc2 has turned out to have a severe upper lip tie and mild posterior tongue tie, so feeding her has never been particularly comfortable, but I know I want to offer her the same as ds had, so am gritting my teeth and getting on with it. Luckily she is a much swifter feeder than he was, but any hopes that she might self wean are dwindling as she is still very keen!!

I think in the early days the most important things were supportive husband, supportive friends (la leche league have been invaluable!), lansinoh, and seriously low standards of tidiness in the house!

I was determined to BF but DD got an infection during birth and was taken to special care for IV antibiotics and a lumbar puncture, so I was very tearful! They were supposed to ring down to the ward for me when she wanted feeding during the night but kept "forgetting" and giving her formula! I was becoming quite distraught as well as having problems with feeding from the right hand side due to having had my nipple pierced years ago! Midwifes all had different advice so it wasn't until we went home after 9 days that we started to get to grips with it properly - though nobody had warned me how painful it could be! Merely "if it hurts you're doing it wrong!" - which was counter productive I feel! Anyway we did eventually sort it ourselves about 3 weeks in - though I was only ever able to feed her from the left hand side - but we managed quite well anyway and I eventually fed her happily until she was 16 months :)

I didn't find any pressure to BF while I was pregnant, although that may have been because I always intended to BF and was lucky enough to have a fairly easy time BFing both DDs. Couldn't understand why some of the mums (and their partners) in the antenatal class were so set against even trying.
DD1 was a bit tough to get going and I had to keep a BF diary to show midwife. This helped because I often forgot which side she had last fed from. I wasn't prepared for how sore my nipples would be. None of the creams seemed to help and there were several embarrassing moment when I didn't change breast pads. Even second time around (strange how we forget).

DD1 fed till full and then dropped off. DD2 fed and then kept a vice-like grip on nipple even when asleep. Prizing her off was VERY painful.
Fed for 5 or 6 months until I returned to work when I asked a manager if I could have some private time to express, to which he answered that my male colleague with whom I shared an office could help. Don't know why I didn't get him for sexual discrimination!!
Always recommend my friends to try to BF. Is so much easier than bottles.

I wanted to love it and did love it. I wasn't prepared for my nervousness at feeding in public and the emotions this would conjure up. This meant I was frequently locked away in rooms upstairs and the back of my car. Apart from that, it worked for us better than I could have imagined and surprisingly I fed dd until she was 3

I was warned it would be hard, but just to say that for us - it wasn't! So don't be scared ladies, not every breast feeding experience is fraught with difficulties and tears. By and large, both my children fed easily and well with no/little pain on my part. Take heart - breastfeeding for EVERYONE is possible! :)

I was adamant that I would breast feed and fortunately myself and my daughter found it pretty easy. There was a little guidance from the midwives in the hospital but not a great deal. I did attend a bf class but until you have your baby there it is very hard to imagine or determine what to do. My daughter was so happy being bf that she fed until she was 1 1/2 when she decided she had had enough. All in all a very positive experience.

Before having my son I thought that it would take a long time for me and my baby to learn how to breastfeed properly and that either I'll really enjoy it and do it at least 1 year, or due to some physical reasons I'd have to give it up entirely at a very early stage. I came to these conclusions after doing my own research online, mainly discussion forums where new mums were discussing breastfeeding.

After giving birth, I found out that although breastfeeding came relatively easily for me and my son and there were no physical reasons to stop it, I found it mentally and emotionally very hard as I was constantly worrying about the quality and quantity of my breast milk even though my son gained weight perfectly and had no health problems. Also I found it hard to have to be constantly available. I switched to mixed feeding when he was 2.5 months and stopped breastfeeding at 7 months. I'm proud that I breastfed him exclusively for the first months and I'm also proud that I changed to mixed feeding as it worked well for us.

I planned to breastfeed for as long as possible. I was lucky that I was in hospital overnight because of a bad birth so had the midwives on hand for the first night. DD latched on on one side but not the other so they helped me with that.
I found breastfeeding really hard because it was so constant and was a very strange / unpleasant sensation for the first few weeks (DD had a very strong suck).
I really found it tiring and can't say I enjoyed it much but I'm stubborn so I kept on with it til DD was a year old. It was a lot easier when she started weaning and dropped most of her feeds within a week!
With DS I am still giving him his night feed (at just over a year) but will be dropping that soon. It was a lot easier second time round because I knew what to expect and was confident enough to express straight away. I also found it a lot more pleasant altogether because I was so much more relaxed.
I hadn't given a single thought to not breastfeeding pre-DD as I (naively) just assumed that I would be able to breastfeed. Luckily that was the case for me. Part of me is quite glad I didn't have any idea about how constant and demanding breastfeeding is before the birth, but I also wish I had as I wouldn't have felt so down about the whole situation.

I had always wanted to Formula Feed - I just knew it would suit me better as DH could help out - he was the only support I had when I had my kids as all family were 250 miles away and my mother and mother in law had full time jobs which they could not leave. Anyway ds was born after a horrible horrible 23 hour back to back labour which ended in a nice large episiotomy and a Ventouse extraction. I was utterly exhausted and just wanted to sleep but the midwives INSISTED (Breastapo style) that I kept him with me and breastfed. They kept on at me and I was too tired and emotional to argue, plus I could hardly walk and was in pain. In the end I decided I would feed whilst in hospital and as soon as I got out of sight of the medics I would ff. Which is what I did and I never looked back. Fast forward to dd2 and as a more confident mother, an easier labour I just looked the midwives in the eye and said I had made the decision to formula feed.

I honestly never expected to have any problems; I just believed it would work, that it was natural and easy. I did an NCT course, which included a session with an amazing BF counsellor, and had a lot of midwife support. And luckily it was all fine.

It would be good if we could stop referring to the "breastapo" or "breastfeeding nazis". It's really offensive and unhelpful.

I assumed it would be easy as nobody had told me otherwise at all! DD1 had a poor latch, was 3 weeks early and wanted to sleep all the time, so I struggled from day 1, although the first feed after birth the midwife said she had a great latch. I went to the hospital breast feeding support group twice and was shoved around and told nose to nipple repeatedly but it didn't help. Loads of friends and older mums gave me advice but nothing made it less painful. I had cracked bleeding nipples and DD was vomiting blood and milk regularly. A friend told me about the exaggerated latch the LLL had shown her and after a few days that worked better for us and eventually the pain just went, at about 3 months, and I fed for 10 months.

DD2 it was much much better, her latch was slightly better but again she was very sleepy at the start which may have slowed us down. Still painful for 4 weeks or so. This time I was religious with the lansinoh and I didn't get cracked nipples, so that was a vast improvement. Fed for 10 months.

DD3 I had usual loads of pain, poor latch again and sleepy, couldn't get her to feed in the hospital and her body temp dropped. Then when I was home she was feeding constantly and screaming after, showing all the signs of wanting to feed again and being hungry. My milk didn't come in for 4 days so she actually was starving. The midwife told me I had to top her up and I went in tears to Sainsburys and bought bottles and formula. I was so desperate for her to have the same as her sisters. I did loads of skin to skin the next day and let her feed pretty much all day and it did improve. I never had full breasts or any leaking though which I did with the first two, so I'm still not convinced I have anywhere near as much milk as I did in the past. However, we are now 14 weeks in and she only had two 20ml formula top ups and is ebf. She actually weighs more than her sisters at this age and is really chubby, despite only being 6.5lbs at birth!

When I found it hard I then had everyone telling me they found it hard too! I couldn't express with either of the first two so I haven't even tried this time. I have really small nipples and breasts and I think that caused problems with getting enough nipple and areola into the dd's mouths and that's possibly a reason why they all struggled to latch. But I've never had that confirmed by anyone.

It was a real struggle for me. It took DD 3 weeks to latch on and then only with nipple shields. So I spent the first 3 weeks expressing and sterilising, taking about 5 hours of each day.

Then when she did latch on each feed was between 45 and 90 minutes long so I spent up to 12 hours a day feeding. For months.

This all really contributed to my really not enjoying the early months. Now I'm pregnant with DC2 I have phases of dreading the early days.

Having said all that, I'm pleased I persevered. After about 5 months I really enjoyed it and found it easier and quicker than my friends who were using bottles. I carried ok until I went back to work at 9 months.

Because of the latching problems, DD was used to a bottle so even when she was feeding fine, we kept going with one bottle a day. Thiseant I had a break and allowed me time out and away from the baby which was brilliant at time.

I look back on bf fondly now which considering how it had me in tears for weeks seemed unimaginable back then. However, I do wonder if I would have enjoyed DD and mat leave much more if I had given up.

I only managed to do it with really good support from Cheshire PCT or whatever they were called.