MN Bumpfest: Tell MNHQ what your expectations and realities were of breast feeding after giving birth – £50 voucher prize draw NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

In the run up to BumpFest (if you haven’t got your ticket yet - what are you waiting for?) we’re looking to get a better understanding of the experiences Mumsnetters have had around different issues surrounding childbirth.

Looking at the many threads on the subject, it seems that breastfeeding can often be one of the most challenging aspects of the first weeks after birth. Whether it’s deciding if it’s right for you, or to trying to achieving the perfect latch, we know that everyone has a different experience.

We are keen to find out what Mumsnetters’ initial expectations were around breast feeding, and if they were met. Whether you planned to breastfeed, planned to formula feed or ended up somewhere in the middle - we’d love to hear about your feelings on the subject, What did you base your expectations on (e.g. NCT class, stories from friends or family, books you had read)? Did you expectations turn out to be correct? If you had a subsequent birth, to what extent did your experiences of breast feeding (whether you breast fed your children or not) differ?

As a token of thanks, everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £50 John Lewis voucher.

Thanks ,

MNHQ

I've only had the one DD and I BF her for 2.5 years.

What I didn't realise at first was how much it would bloody hurt! I know it's not meant to and the latch was probably wrong, but it was really common amongst my friends. It took ages for it to stop hurting.

Also as it was the primary source of comfort for DD, I was used as a dummy a lot. Also ouch.

But despite that - and despite her waking much more than my friends bottle fed little ones - it was lovely to see just how much it soothed her and made everything ok.

Weaning her was tricky though!

I didn't know about cluster feeding, and I really wish I had.

DD had slow weight gain after birth, and the MW advised me to feed her lots, at least every 3 hours for at least 15 minutes a side. So I thought that counted as often!

But it doesn't. During cluster feeding in the following few weeks, she would feed half an hour each side, twenty minutes off, then start again. I wasn't prepared for that, and so to start with I didn't feed her enough -- I would put her off until I thought she was ready. (In fact, that's probably why she had slow weight gain!)

I'd done antenatal classes with NCT and NHS, and read the NHS pregnancy book, but I don't feel they gave me enough information about breastfeeding. Admittedly every baby's pattern of feeding is different, but I feel some more information about what to expect would have been helpful.

I wanted to follow medical advice and ebf for the first six months, plus more bfing into toddlerhood. I found it very difficult to get the hang of at first, and very difficult not to get any time off even at night for so long. But I managed it, and of all the things I've ever achieved, it's probably the one I'm proudest of.

I was geared up for BFingbti be difficult and painful. I had read up online and bought nipple shields, nipple cream, and a compression thingy so I would be prepared to fight fire with fire! That said I very much felt that if it wasn't meant to be I wouldn't pressure myself to BF. When it came to it, I had to have an ELCS 4 weeks before due date as my baby had IUGR. It was very stressful. After the section a midwife asked if I wanted to try DD on the breast. She was a tiny 4lbs but latched straight away. In the following days she was tired and I hadn't much milk, she was in SCBU and was tube fed, formula at first but then breast milk when mine came in. We have EBF ever since (bottle refuser!), I've never needed any of the paraphernalia I bought and she has gained weight really well. I'm thankful for my experience of breast feeding following a tricky pregnancy where I felt my body was letting my baby down. Breast feeding has really helped me feel like I have been able to make up for the hard time my baby had in the womb.

I had had a breast reduction operation 5 years before I gave birth so I was very unsure whether or not I was going to be able to breast feed. I took ready made formula in my hospital bag just in case. The midwife on duty during the night (I gave birth at 00:06) sat with me and listened to my concerns that my DS was not getting anything from me, she showed me how to self express and together we managed to produce collostrum. I was so over joyed at being able to feed my son and went on to let him self wean just before he turned 3.

It was a difficult journey though. I never knew it would be so painful, and seeing his dark poo nappies where he had swallowed my blood was disturbing, seeing chunks missing from my nipples was distressing but I met up with a lactation consultant through a local Childrens Centre Breast Feeding Peer Support group and sorted out all the positioning issues. I even went on to do my own peer support training.

I'd planned to breastfeed from the start, but knew so many people who had tried and failed and couldn't understand why. At our NCT class we had a session on breastfeeding so I brought this up and only got a very vague response. The session was not very informative on the whole although we did learn a little about what a correct latch should look like and some positions to breastfeed in.

When my little girl was born she sort of latched on but didn't suck, because she was my first I didn't realise anything was wrong until she was howling with hunger. We discovered she had tongue-tie which was causing her difficulties in extracting milk, so she had to be topped up with formula until my milk came in, then I was pumping like crazy to get my supply up and get some milk in her.

She had her tongue tie snipped at 3 weeks and things got much better after that, but the first three weeks were so stressful! I had never heard of tongue tie so I never expected to have so many issues after giving birth, but she is 5 months old now and very happy I persevered :)

I always say, you'd never just sit behind her wheel of a car and know how to drive, and that's like breast feeding. I was always determined to do it, but mum and baby have to learn. Yes they know how to suckle, but can easily suckle anywhere! Getting the nipple and areola in is a skill.
The first 3 days with my first I was scared he wasn't getting enough, then when my milk came in I feared I'd drown him! Yet going home on the fourth day after a section, I worried he'd starve.
Once we got into it, it was a breeze. I felt like it was what my body was designed for, at last. The closeness between mother and feeding baby is indescribable.
No making bottles, all that faff....just me and him. When we found out he had a dairy allergy I fed him til he was 12 months.
By the time my daughter came 3 years later I knew we would do the same, and I fed her for 10 months. I'll not forget the auxiliary' face the first night she cried and she bustled in to 'help' and found her already latched on.
I am a great advocate and would urge every woman to try it. I was made to feel like an outcast in some situations with other new mums when I was the only one breast feeding. How rude!
They went straight from breast to cup. No dummies, no bottles. I'm proud of that.

My expectation was of it being a little bit painful, but that I would get over that pretty quickly and would end up BF for at least 6 months. I was looking forward to breastfeeding DD, and was utterly confident that I could do it.

We had a reasonably good start, DD latched on pretty well at first and we were discharged from hospital 48 hours after my EMCS. It continued to hurt, but I was expecting this and so I rode with it. The midwives all said that we were doing great, DD was putting on weight (hardly lost anything after birth) and I had loads of milk.

But it never got any easier. It just got harder, more painful and more distressing. DD always seemed to take enough milk but each and every breastfeed was utter agony. I remember one night screaming in pain as I tried to feed. DP raced in from the spare room (where I had sent him), but of course there was nothing he could do.

I got through 2 tubes of Lansinoh in 3 weeks. My nipples were cut and bleeding almost incessantly. I had deep breast pain and wondered about mastitis or thrush (I had neither) and because of my big boobs, positioning was really hard and my back soon joined my nipples in mortal agony. My health visitor spent an hour and a half watching us breastfeed and managed to help us get a good latch...with her holding DD horizontally and me supporting my breast. In her own words, "Well that's a lovely latch but of course you can't do this all the time."

I admitted defeat after 4 weeks and I have never felt so inadequate, cheated or defeated in my life. DD took to bottles with gusto which was something, but even now, 19 months later, I still well up when I think about it. I was nearly 40 when she was born and it's unlikely I'll have a chance for another go.

When she was 4 months old I discovered that she has a lip tie. I try not to think about it now, because the overwhelming anger I feel when I remember how much the midwives and HVs tried to get me to carry on BF, but never actually tried to get to the bottom of our problems, threatens to overwhelm me.

I find the enormous, discriminatory prejudice in favour of breastfeeding in this country hugely offensive. It wouldn't be offensive if the health professionals were properly equipped to help new mothers, but they are not. They are, by and large, completely useless and simply use emotional blackmail to try and keep mothers breastfeeding. I find it abhorrent and completely wrong. Shame on them all.

I had a shockingly similar experience to confused above, I find the nhs attitude towards breastfeeding to be extremely biased. I chose to breastfeed DS and not DD. It is a woman's choice how she feeds her baby and we have the right to do this without judgement.

my expectantions were a baby who starts bfing as soon as i had put him on to the breast.. But reality was so so different.. In the prenatal classes we were only told the good points of bfing n positions, nobody said that there was a possibility that your baby won't bfeed.. Ds born at 37 weeks and about 5 pounds would not bfeed and i had to pump to feed him. i went to bfing cafe advisors, midwives n hvs. had a lot of help but then again there were conflicting advises.. It was overwhelming. I persevered at last at 12 weeks DS started bfing, n then I had the horrible pain for 2 weeks, fever due to the pain followed by mastitis. . Ds is 11 months now and is still bf n gets solids and formula milk. But I persevered and I am very glad I did.. It's truly worth it. .

First baby it was really difficult and slightly painful for a good six weeks. There was no practical help at the hospital other than watching a DVD of a baby about six months old feeding.

Second time round seemed a lot easier, the baby seemed to take to it straight away. Possibly I was more relaxed but I think a lot was to do with the baby.

Thank you to everyone for posting. The winner of the prize draw is Catsize, congratulations! We'll be in touch soon.

Thank you everyone for you comments. Congrats, Cherryjellybean, you've won the prize draw for a £50 John Lewis voucher. We'll be in touch shortly.