MN Bumpfest: Tell MNHQ what your expectations and realities were of breast feeding after giving birth – £50 voucher prize draw NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

In the run up to BumpFest (if you haven’t got your ticket yet - what are you waiting for?) we’re looking to get a better understanding of the experiences Mumsnetters have had around different issues surrounding childbirth.

Looking at the many threads on the subject, it seems that breastfeeding can often be one of the most challenging aspects of the first weeks after birth. Whether it’s deciding if it’s right for you, or to trying to achieving the perfect latch, we know that everyone has a different experience.

We are keen to find out what Mumsnetters’ initial expectations were around breast feeding, and if they were met. Whether you planned to breastfeed, planned to formula feed or ended up somewhere in the middle - we’d love to hear about your feelings on the subject, What did you base your expectations on (e.g. NCT class, stories from friends or family, books you had read)? Did you expectations turn out to be correct? If you had a subsequent birth, to what extent did your experiences of breast feeding (whether you breast fed your children or not) differ?

As a token of thanks, everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £50 John Lewis voucher.

Thanks ,

MNHQ

The NCT class I had on bfing was dreadful and didn't't cover how difficult it could be and I remember getting quite cross at the time about how unbalanced I felt the advice was. However, I was extremely lucky and found it relatively straightforward. What was brilliant was having access to breastfeeding helplines early on for that advice and reassurance I needed.

I thought I would have a horrible time breastfeeding, with several weeks of agony before moving to bottles. It was in fact totally fine. Some minor pain, one short bout of mastitis relieved in a day of loads of feeding.

No one ever said anything when I fed in public - except lovely complimentary things! So I was glad I got the first few times over with quickly and built up my confidence.

DD1- I had always planned to breastfeed. I'd seen it done and it looked easy and lovely. It hurt at first, a lot. I managed to get through the pain and once we settled in to it it was lovely.

DD2- midwives at the hospital told me she wasn't latching on properly but it felt right to me, she was a quick drinker, could empty a breast in 30 seconds and it was a lot easier second time round.

Thought it would be easy natural and take 5 mins to feed
Both were a nightmare , difficult I had no life as they literally fed all day and all night. Felt I couldn't give up as I wouldn't be doing the best fort he dcs .
This led to crashing pnd and bonkersness

I was adamant that I would breastfeed but a bit nervous because of all the stories I'd heard about how difficult it can be. However apart from the first few weeks where it was a bit painful I've been fine. DS is a hungry baby and wants to feed a lot but I've got enough milk for him (despite only going up one cup size - am rather disappointed that I didn't get huge boobs!) and the bonus is that it's been a better calorie burner than any exercise I've ever done.

I won't deny that in those first few weeks where it hurt I did hate it but once we got past that stage it's been so easy and I love the bond it gives me with DS. We co-sleep and at six months he now tends to help himself to his night feeds!!

DS1 had an undiagnosed tongue tie.
Feeding was horrendous. I remember describing it to my (pregnant) friend as worse than labour (I had a drug free ventouse delivery).
It was non stop. I have the diary showing he was feeding for 16 hrs out of every 24, and would try to feed for longer if I hadn't handed him to DH in tears for a break.

NHS (with the exception of the lovely trainee midwife, who realised there was actually something not right), were useless. Took a desperate call to NCT feeding councillor to get the tie diagnosed, and a referral. After the divide, and my nipples had healed, it was fine. Yes, he woke up lots at night, but feeding in the dark, still say in bed was OK (ish!).

DS2 was significantly less tongue tied. A feed took about 20 mins - apart from the cluster feeding in the evenings, which went on for 2-3 months. He woke a couple of times a night, and was generally very placid.

Both were bf til over 12 months, when they had cows milk.

I never really considered formula - and actually was astounded by the quantity of formula / bottles in that corner of the supermarket that I never normally visited. I don't know why, I was of the opinion that bf was the way babies were fed. Formula was for the minority who struggled. I don't know why I had / maintained this unusual view of infant feeding.

DD1 - I intended to breastfeed, in fact it never occurred to me that I wouldn't breastfeed her. The reality was different. I breastfed exclusively for 3 weeks, but even from day one it was extremely painful. Nobody knew why, she was checked for tongue tie, and I was observed lots to make sure our technique was ok. I had terrible nipple cracks and after three weeks I was desperate. We gradually introduced bottles of expressed milk, but I couldn't keep up with her demand. So we phased in formula and by 6 weeks I had stopped breastfeeding. Although I was sure I had done my best to breastfeed I felt so incredibly sad, even after 4 years now I have tears in my eyes just typing this.

DD2 - I knew it wouldn't be plain sailing, but I decided to give breastfeeding a second go. Again it was excruciating - for 3 months. For the next 3 months it was painful, then at about 6 months it stopped hurting and I continued to bf until DD2 was 13m. At that point she refused the breast for 10 days and my supply started to diminish. I decided to call it a day as she was showing no signs of bf and I had got through the extreme discomfort of stopping cold turkey - I didn't want to go through that again! It was sheer stubbornness that got me through those difficult first months of breastfeeding. I had support from health visitors and midwives -all wanted to help but none could find why it was so painful for me.

Having done it both ways I would say for me bottle feeding was very much easier for the first few months, but once it became less painful breastfeeding was lovely, amazing, healing and beautiful. I am thrilled that I had a second chance to breastfeed.

I forgot to say, when I was attending an antenatal appointment when expecting DD2 there was an NHS poster in the waiting room encouraging breastfeeding. It had a caption that was something like 'breastmilk is for babies, cows milk is for cows'. I found that incredibly hurtful and insensitive given the rough ride I had trying to bf DD1 and the guilt of feeling I had failed her.

I never considered not breastfeeding. It just wasn't even considered. I didn't buy any bottles/formula/steriliser etc.

With both DDs they just went straight on the boob and got on with it.

Bloody lucky really. I was completely clueless.

I understood that although it was natural and best for the baby, it might not be straight forward. Expectations were based on nct classes and a brilliant breast feeding counsellor who explained a bit of the "science" behind breast feeding, e.g. Supply and demand. I was able to feed ds about 30 mins after a crash c section. Our first feed lasted around 40 mins and it was pretty straight forward (if a bit painful) from there. The pain went after a few days and I kept going for about 10/11 months when ds really wasn't interested any more. It was a lovely bonding experience and one that I hope Ill be lucky enough to repeat next time.

I wanted to breastfeed - I don't know where I got the idea from it just seemed the natural thing to do. I had an emergency c-section with DS and was in hospital for about a week. Feeding was painful (I had to use nipple shields due to cracking) but once home it got easier over a few weeks and I occasionally used top-ups. Once he was on solids (it was much earlier then) breastfeeding was wonderful, and so totally convenient and we didn't need any top-ups. I fed him everywhere - including on an airplane at 35,000 feet.

When DD arrived I assumed it would be easier as I had learned such a lot. After three incredibly painful weeks, with bleeding nipples, I very reluctantly gave up. We later found out she was tongue-tied but no-one realized (and it was not something I was aware of).

I'm on my third BF baby and whilst it's been overall an enormously positive thing, I have had a different set of problems to overcome each time. I am so fortunate that through NCT antenatal classes I met a wonderful BF counsellor who runs our local support group and has been fantastic. We had very good initial teaching and postnatal support and all seven of us in the group BF for at least 6 months and have BF subsequent children.
Baby 1 - Initial problems latching and soreness, mastitis once, blocked ducts lots of times. BF 16m
Baby 2 - tongue tie, reflux, cows milk and soya intolerant meaning I had to be dairy and soya free for a year. BF 2 yrs.
Baby 3 - early, tiny, problems maintaining blood sugars and jaundice. Tube fed donated breast milk for a few days, had to express and top up for the first few weeks. Now going strong 10 weeks in, aiming for at least a year.

Oh, and I had mastitis 3 times with each baby. All in all it wasn't the easy experience I had expecting from those naïve fluffy NCT classes!

I'm not sure what I "expected" as such. Didn't have or receive any guidance from any health professionals prior to the birth.

Was in ICU straight after the birth and quite unwell so missed the opportunity to breastfeed first. I started the next day but didn't really do a good enough job of it. I was shown how at the hospital but not really in a caring/nurturing way. Continued at home and to be honest, I hated every minute of it. Couldn't bear the sensation of being suckled, cracked nipples hurt like hell and I felt an emotional wreck.

After two weeks, the decision was taken out of my hands by my milk drying up. They put it down to still being in shock after the traumatic birth. I can't say I was displeased.

I wish I had enjoyed it though.

I knew that I wanted to breastfeed, I attended a 2 hour NHS class with knitted breasts, read The Politics of Breastfeeding and read a lot of Mumsnet threads and Kelly Mom before my first was born. He didn't latch straight away and after being ignored for most of the day two midwives double-teamed us to shove my nipple in his mouth get him to latch. He did and we were off. Despite a poor latch at first he was over his birthweight at 5 days old. I do remember my nipple cracking and bloody milk dribbling out of my 4 day old baby's mouth - it was grim. But his latch improved and it was all fairly straightforward after that. He was breastfed for 14 months. I'm currently breastfeeding my second who did latch straightaway and it has also been fairly straightforward. Both have had slow weight gain but I think both have undiagnosed tongue ties. I would like all midwives to have the training to check all breastfeeding babies for tongue tie as I'm pretty sure it is more common than the stats make out.

I think I was expecting that it could be difficult/painful as I'd had honest descriptions from friends and my sister. I prepared by arming myself with a lot of knowledge - read the Kate Figues book and lots of kellymom, and had a list of local milk spots. When she was born it was indeed very hard, and very painful at first. I was lucky enough to get some swift help from a specialist midwife at the local Sure Start centre, which I think I would have really struggled without. If I hadn't been as committed to the idea of BF and stubborn about it, I think there's a good chance I'd have lost faith and given up. However, we did get it established well and I've been feeding 8 months and will miss it terribly when we stop.

I assumed I would breastfeed, and was quite looking forward to it.
The reality was awful. I wasn't producing much milk, couldn't latch, painful.
I also developed PND and, as I had a history of depression, any help I was offered was focused on the PND.
I expressed for a while, but couldn't produce enough milk.
In the end the MW told me to switch to formula. I regret it still, 6 weeks later. I struggled to bond with DD for years. I feel let down by MW and nonexistent HV, but mostly I feel I let DD down.

6 years later.

Always planned on doing it. My mum fed her 3 children until 13 months so felt that I had to breastfeed as well as wanting to do it. Thought it would be easier than it was. Took a while to get DD to feed in hospital and feeds took an age. Breastfeeding support at the hospital was amazing. Was a lot more sore than I imagined. I did like the excuse to sit, watch TV and eat though.

DD gained weight soooo slowly and the HV was pressuring to top up and not liking the woman at all made me push back and became really adamant I wasn't going to use formula. I think I might have given in and mixed fed if it hadn't been for her and a fab breastfeeding support group who I have made the most wonderful mummy friends through. Kept feeding as I wanted to keep going to that and it kept ne going through some really rough bits.

I had always assumed that I would breast feed and I always assumed it would be easy, but no one told DS that!

He didn't feed at all for 12 hours after birth apart from a few drops from a syringe which I managed to hand express. Each feed I/he struggled but the midwives were great trying to help us as much as possible when I asked for help.

Upon coming out of hospital each feed was a struggle and very painful and most times I would think I would just do one more feed and then give up.

However, with the support of a few fantastic midwives and advice from a breast feeding support group I kept going and it became easier and less painful and eventually I stopped breast feeding at 28 months.

I planned to breastfeed with ds and really set myself too high expectations. I think now from reading up on it that I had oversupply, I was constantly engorged, letdown was always painful and I was exhausted! His birth was reasonably traumatic and recovery quite long and by 3 months I started him on formula. Not understanding how breastfeeding works meant that as I switched him to bottles too quickly my milk supply dried up rapidly and he was fully ff by 4 months. I was pretty devastated and felt I'd let him/myself down for not managing it.

Dd has been a totally different story, I read up (inc mumsnet) on bf and how it works but just thought I will go with the flow and if it doesn't work out then that's what formula is for. She's 8 months now and we are still going strong. Her birth was completely different which I think helped as it was a lot easier and recovery quicker. I feel more comfortable feeding out and about and my supply settled down quickly and I don't get engorged unless she doesn't feed properly for some reason or I forget which boob I'm on and feed from the same one twice in a row
I strongly believe that education on how it all works would work wonders for bf rates. Obviously people can feed their babies however they like but if someone wants to bf then proper support would work so much better than constantly ramming the breast is best message. And if it doesn't work out then no one should feel bad for switching to ff.

Having taught people to breast feed in the past, i was very confident prior to giving birth that i knew what i'd let myself in for. I had diligently prepared i had nursing bras, lansinoh, and breast pads. I also had brought my breast pump. I knew it maybe painful and had kind of prepared myself for that.

However, i was one of the lucky ones it wasn't painful, so no need for the lansinoh. What did completely crush breastfeeding for me was that my DD bf constantly and i really do mean constantly.

The help you get in hospital which had been raved about by midwives all through my pregnancy was frankly non existant. When she was first born i had skin to skin contact, put her in position and away she went. Then we went to the ward and she didn't feed a midwife came in and told me off for not feeding her and when i explained i was struggling to get her latched on she went away and got me a cup and syringe and told me to shout her back when i had filled the syringe.

In the meantime a breastfeeding advisor came round saw what i was doing asked why and told me i should try and latch the baby on instead, but as she didn't cover my geographical area she couldn't help much.

I was near giving up when a Health care assistant came by and sat on my bed told me to stop trying and to give DD a bath and try again, she stayed with me and then sat with me getting her latched on. She was an amazing woman.

From that point on my DD never left my breast it felt like. It was soul destroying sometimes in the end we had to bed share in order for me to get some sleep whilst she was latched on.

I just wish someone had told me how time consuming it really is and that some days you literally cannot move whilst breastfeeding.

All the classes said it was easy, midwife said babies know how to feed, if it's not working it's Mum who is doing it wrong. That stuck with me and made me feel so guilty when DS couldn't suckle. Nothing to do with me, he had a palsy in his jaw. I chose to exclusively express which gave him the goodness of my milk but not the goodness of my time as I spent hours every day on a breast pump. I did this as I felt guilty and the early days could have been much less stressful if I had been able to accept breastfeeding wouldn't be for us.

I think I was very lucky. I heard about the sore nipples, tongue tie, problems you could have and I knew that people with pcos can have trouble with milk production so I was not expecting it to be easy. I had formula 'just in case' at the hospital but never used it and had to throw it away when it reached its sell by date 6 months later. For dd and I it just worked and i reached my target of 6 months easily and kept on going. I stopped around the time I went back to work at 11 months and was very sad about it. I never expected to enjoy it but thought I should do it for dd so it was a pleasant surprise.

Was in no way prepared for how painful and difficult it would be, and support in hospital was very poor. Was saved by lanolin and excellent community support and kept feeding until ds decided to stop around 18 months.