do you ever feel so different that you just don't fit?

[special2shoes]

or is it just me, I think dd has changed me.
i just got told of for posting on a home birth thread, how dare I say that dd would have died if I had a home birth.
I just don't fit sometimes.

that is exactly what i thought slightlycrumpled. I thought it was actually really manipulative, both on that thread and the others after

Lottie that is dreadful. You should take her anyway, why should she be hidden away just because other people don't want their consience pricked.

No very different disabilities my dd is more severe and more widely affected, but yes we have been told that's why we're not being invited, my innocent and thankfully oblivious dd makes them with their new baby feel uncomfortable

what do your parents and siblings think of this lottie? surely they feel hurt too?

Well that is shit! Good grief its all well and good making these desicions but you do need to be able to live with them afterwards, hiding away children with disabilities won't change their sadness surely.

Dear god, I think i'd have to spell it put to them. Have they always been incredibly self centred? I think this has to be one of the worst things I have ever read on this board. You really are not being irrational

Words fail, Lottie.

About the church: Some churches such as the RC church have absolutely set views. Some don't, such as the CofE. I work providing advice for most of them in some capacity or other, so it can be a very confusing experience for me too. But vicars in the CofE are essentially self-employed, rather than employees, so are much more able to decide things for themselves and much less able to be guided by anyone in charge. They'd have to do something utterly front-page-tabloid-headlines to be removed from office. Yes, it is odd, but it's been like it for hundreds of years and no-one seems to want to change it very fast. And 'fast' in CofE terms is anything less than 20 years.

But we do get a lot of things right, and there are lots of excellent people. Just much more to be done on disability issues. We need more people working on it...am doing all I can to make that a reality.

Slightlycrumpled agree. And the accusations of personal attack are being made on threads on which we have no right of reply. Along with an imaginary flounce (which hasn't resulted in a flounce so was presumably just to say boo hoo mrsturnip and others have been mean to me. And I'm narked. Especially as I wentvso out if my way not to criticize individual decisions couldn't havenmade it clearer. The manipulation is quite awe inspiring.

My sister won't go unless we do, she's just as annoyed about it all as me, my parents don't really like to think of my almost 3 yr old who can't sit/walk/talk as disabled they're very much of the bury your head in the sand variety so can't see where the problem is! We go along when I think dd will enjoy it, she's not a fan of restaurants/pubs etc but loves it when we went along to the zoo un-invited

Thank you Amber I had no idea about the self employed type thing. So if in rl I heard someone saying some if the stuff that has been said on here or attributed to a c of e vicar who would I complain to? or would it be a theological argument or just a case of moving churches.

I thought the C of E (unlike completely reformed Protestant Churches) did have a ruling body - Synod (?) but I think Amber is more likely to be right

other webistes were brought up to try and cause a ruck amongst ourselves aswell. I am pretty SURE of it. i am actually quite amazed at the vindictiveness tbh

( I have asked mn hq if that poster works for them as she seems to have taken mn over)

lottie that is horrid,.

I am tempted to start an AIBU as this whole thing has annoyed me so much.
(or email fr steve and get his take on this)

Oh yes that was a nice little stir of the pot wasn't it fio - I spotted that too.

rofl @ 2shoes emailing mn to ask if she works for them

well really someone had to

Cyber yes there is the general synod and they state they are against termination except in extreme cases wherevthe mother or child's life is at risk or they will die so I think they would support say for anencephaly. Nothing about terminating with love being ok though. Which was why I was getting confused and still am a bit.

MrsT, that's the million dollar question. Sometimes your local Bishop will be interested, but often it's a question for individual discernment and theological differences. Often people just think "Oh blow this, I'm off to the church down the road" where the vicar or team may have an entirely different set of views. It sort of works as a collaborative group of churches, but it can be a surprise if people think that all vicars are supposed to say the same things. They definitely don't.

2shoes you have made me giggle! Although it did seem like that to me too.

lottie I'm glad you have your sister on side. It really must make you feel like turning up unnanounced on these occasions although as mrsturnip said earlier some people are just not worth the upset. Bloody terrible that it is your family though.

Well I have noticed contributions on a pagan thread so maybe the poster has a wider range of spiritual interests - but I suppose it is a bit unfair to comment - but was not spying just remembered the name. obv nothing wrong in discussing the issues but wouldn't a C of E person have to warn against it?

I do think it is wrong for a church person to use their position on her(unless asked advice) I think like anyone else at the end of the day it is just their opinion and should be treated as such.

Hello - a reminder that if you have concerns about another poster's behaviour please do report them to us. We'll take a look but it's a better way of dealing with it than discussing someone on the boards.
Thanks.