do you ever feel so different that you just don't fit?

[special2shoes]

or is it just me, I think dd has changed me.
i just got told of for posting on a home birth thread, how dare I say that dd would have died if I had a home birth.
I just don't fit sometimes.

bubblaboy hasnt wanted to do much at all this holiday we did in first week just simple things feeding the ducks we had a disastrous play date and was not ds fault he was an angel it was the nt child i invited round what a nightmare

we have stayed in ive tried to get him to go out but he does want to i think it all becomes to busy around for him we have had one day last week at sn group and we have session tomorrow so his not had huge amount although we did have b day party at funky monkeys and he loved it was just sad to see him play as he thought he was involved with everyone was good to see him join in but the others didnt want to know bless him i can only be pleased he doesn't realise therefore it doesn't bother him we tackled the party he won

so another day in for us now i may try to convinse him to go for a walk later but it hasnt worked last few days but he has been getting up at 4 so thats probably why

sorry dont mean to hijack thread

Sometimes yes...in rl mostly.Particularly when friends talk about the future.
5 inthebed...i've had that kind of reaction from friends too.

~i found my rl friends with kids same age as ds have mostly dropped us as he does not fit in with their idea of normal and can not function to their level ,

One family that been biggest support yes they can see ds is lot further behind their ds but there willing to accomandate this and think this is because her dp is in wheelchair and knows how it feels to be a outsider

yep and think there is differnace how your treated when DD is poorly and she need s 02 and lug it around with her she gets a lot of sympathy and people are willing to make adjustments for her mind she tell them whatshe thinks to
but ds oh no its other story

I don't know whether it is just old fashioned stupidity that makes women refuse to listen to accounts that show clearly that 'mother nature' gets it wrong more often than the craziest consultant or whether it is a cultural shift to a more infantilised society - that they are chronogically '30 something' but mentally about 5 with 'The playground is mine' attitudes.

I've given up on home birth threads. People just want to hear what they want to hear.

I get bored being told that my births would have been safe if they had not been so medicalised, after I have stated that my dcs have a genetic problem (unsuspected at birth). There is no way either of them could have been safe in a home birth, but if I had not thankfully had (unrelated) chronic medical problems, we wouldn't have known that it wasn't safe and things could have gone badly wrong.

I was going to post on the home birth thread -glad I didn't bother, judging by the awful reaction 2shoes got. I was desperate to try a VBAC with dd2. After a nightmare induction, her heart rate dropped to a dangerous level and I ended up with an emergency c-section.

I was told in no uncertain terms later that if she hadn't been delivered so quickly, she would have died.

The thing with childbirth is that it is totally unpredictable and that needs to be taken into account. Hope you are okay today 2shoes.

Actually My 2 two births were not medicalised despite me signing up for everything medicalised under the sun whereas most of my friends who were planning to chant with lavender wheatbags had cs/forceps etc - I think Mother Nature, despite not being much use, likes a good laugh at times.

agree sibling. we make uneducated guesses about risk. mws and doctors make educated guesses about risk. sadly things can go wrong, sometimes care is substandard.

Yeah, I had substandard care, Totalchaos. Too long and traumatic to go into, but I was left alone for 5 hours while dd was in distress. We were incredibly lucky, as she suffered no problems at all. God knows how.
IMO, all that matters is a healthy baby and mother.

I agree about feeling "safe" coming onto MN. Most of my friends with children do tend to either be on here, or really close friends who can see how hard it is for my whole family.

Those home birth threads do sound scarily nasty. And I do think its a case of just wanting to hear the good things about it, as people want their child's birth to be as nice as possible. Nobobdy wants to hear about what can go wrong, and that itself is quite worrying.

I feel like a total outcast a lot of the time. Not in the evenings if I meet friends and do un-mum things, but in the holidays, at school, on INSET days; we never get invited to schooly events because of DD. Sometimes people at school seem to conveniently miss me out of drinks out, presumably because I can have no understanding of 'normal' things or 'normal development'. (or maybe people just hate me!!)

I haven't seen the thread in question. I got upset yesterday on one of those 'other' threads when a poster said to a fellow poster not to listen to ranters (my words, not hers, but basically the gist of what she was getting at), as most of the mothers she knew who had children with SN kids admitted they would have aborted them had they known they would not be NT. I was upset, God how sad if she really knows lots of people who think this...... but more because possibly she doesn't (or maybe one/two?) and just made an assumption... Oh, I don't know.... (I know t is bad form to comment on another thread, but hope you will forgive me)

Sorry this is all a bit 'stream of consciousness' and not a well thought out post. My apologies. Just letting off steam I suppose. I just feel so sad and so 'alien' sometimes.

How do people CAT other people?

Oh, I should probably add that I am possibly worse at the moment, having been indoors with dd1 who has very bad chicken pox (and therefore seizures) at the moment. Sorry.

you have to accept to receive contact another mn first you pay 5 pound something for the year and click on the envelope next to whoever you want to contact and it will send e mail to that person with your details

omg PheasantPlucker i would been mix of tears and steaming anger to ,I do not egret or wished for one moment that i had aborted ds ell refused any of blood tests on grounds would not abort anyway

sorry you have been so upset by recent threads too PP. fwiw, a year or so ago, a poster made a similar claim, and when challenged it turned out there was one person who had supposedly said that to her, and the rest were things she'd read in papers etc .

Thanks, I did suspect as much! (In our house I think the 'technical term' for such allegations is 'a load of bollox' !! Silly woman though, and how hurtful. I didn't even dare post to refute the allegation though, for fear of reprisals.... which is wrong of me.

I think I am going to cheer myself up by eating loads of Easter eggs, and having a look on Freecycle! (Rock and Roll!)

thanks for all being so kind. I know a thread about a thread is sooooo not mn . but I managed to get myself into a state(thank god mn hq deleted my post, I would have hated someone to have come along and made a bad comment) I must not post on those threads, if you see me near one hit me.