Social services asking me to have son and girlfriend and baby living with me

[TheOchreEagle]

My son is 19 autistic and still at college and lives at home, he has got his girlfriend pregnant it seems intentionally. Social services have asked us to house them half the week in his bedroom. My partner is not at all happy with the idea. I think it could potentially destroy our relationship.

I feel so torn I don’t believe it will work his bedroom is right next to ours and we would hear every noise. He is very resistant to being told anything and i don’t think his girlfriend would be very receptive to any advice.

They both have learning disabilities so would need close monitoring which would be difficult. I work at home as well as being a carer for my mother who although currently in a care home still makes demands on my time.

Social services have said there would be support but as it has taken 3 months to hear anything i find that doubtful.

I do want to help but living with us is just too much. Anyone had any experience of this or can offer any advice.

Yep. You see, women only exist in some mumsnetter's eyes as a resource, at all ages and stages. Their time, lives, labour, freedom are for other people to dole out, as they see fit.

Really?? Most mothers would step up and help their adult child and grandparent.

Thank you for the link to your skillfully constructed audit, the results of which have indicated that "most" mothers would - checks notes -

Now face unemployment as it will no longer be possible to work from home with two adults with disabilities and their newborn baby living in the 2nd of two bedrooms in their home, both adults being resistant to any advice or being told anything, who will need close monitoring from the OP who will also have to maintain her caring duties for her sick, elderly mother.

Her mother is in a care home. I know there is still some advocacy and things to do, but it is not anywhere like the phrase caring for her sick mother suggests.

It's for half the week. Those two adults include ops son and the baby her grandchild. I would try and make it work. I am assuming the baby would end up in care though as the adults would not be able to parent without ongoing support.

Just to add, I grew up in a very poor area where plenty of teenage girls got pregnant and raised the baby in their childhood bedroom, before finally getting their own place. Their mother's helped with the baby and taught their daughters how to care for the baby.
I know they will need ongoing support, but OP must have known her son was likely to need ongoing support as an adult.

Caring for her sick mother suggest "caring for her sick mother". Which is the case.

Your experiences are not universal and knowing someone will need support is not relevant.

So again, I doubt the veracity of your claim that "most" mothers would now face unemployment as it will no longer be possible to work from home with two adults with disabilities and their newborn baby living in the 2nd of two bedrooms in their home, both adults being resistant to any advice or being told anything, who will need close monitoring from the OP who will also have to maintain her caring duties for her sick, elderly mother.

Some would, certainly. Many would not.