Primary School Auties 11: 2023 is here

[openupmyeagereyes]

Thread 11.

This is a thread for the parents & carers of children with additional needs. Most of us have autistic/ADHD children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Links to previous threads below.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed
Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2
Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3
Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4
Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1
Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1
Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7
Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8
Thread 9
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022
Thread 10
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4592899-primary-school-auties-10-summer-and-beyond-2022?page=1

It doesn’t make ds groggy (unfortunately lol)

he’s on 5mg melatonin and 20mg promethezine. (That’s phenergan) but dh was taking the adult phenergan every night (he’s got insomnia) but he said he felt badly hungover in the morning and didn’t like the feeling so he stopped it. Doesn’t seem to have that affect on ds.

What is your ds taking?

3mg melatonin and then 1.5 ml alimemazine. He suits the latter better than phenergan and it sustains sleep rather than just knocking him out

Is that slow release melatonin Danni?

Does your DH take melatonin? If so does it make him groggy in the morning? V hard when DS can’t tell me

It was phenergan I was talking about carrie and ds melatonin isn’t slow release, just the normal liquid.

Dh got some 10mg slow release tablets from biovea and some phenergan tablets from the chemist and took both together, still couldn’t sleep. He tried them singularly and the phenergan what made him feel shitty in the morning. (Not the melatonin)

I think Danni alimemazine is the phernagan equivalent effectively just a diff med. if I was a braver woman I’d try and just get back to the melatonin…! I guess the less the better with any med…

Hi everyone happy new year! Didn’t spot the new thread for a while, slow on the uptake!

today is back to work / nursery / school for us, also coinciding with first day that DD gets the organised minibus - think she will be ok with that bc she likes being in car generally. Hope so anyway.

I like the new year aims / achievements! Made me think a bit.

Aims for 2023:
Me

• prioritise finding a social life here (find it tough w language and tiredness and busy life but think it’s important)

-try to be more in the moment and worry less -make sure to carve out time for DD2 one on one -be patient / understanding where DH and I have different approaches or priorities re DD, feel like a team DD -sleep to improve -communication to improve (continuing trying pecs and also give her more opportunities to pick up gestalts in both languages, find a decent SALT to support)

what went well in 2023
-got through the waiting list into an environment that suits DD for now, means she is no longer in MS where they don’t really want / support her
-learnt a lot myself re sensory profiles, communication, language development etc. Feel more informed
-DD1 having more tolerance of DD2. More parallel play, less inclined to always walk away from her
-a tough year mentally but probably better than the previous. Had a good work year and also used exercise for me time / help my mood

Ahna I hope your dd got on the mini bus ok.

Ds class has another new teacher, it’s the 3rd one since September. Ffs 🙄 I get special schools aren’t for everyone (I wouldn’t do it for 20 grand a week lol) but these kids need stability. And 3 in 4 months is ridiculous.

She seems nice tho, she rang me this morning to ask if there’s anything she should know about ds, this is where a no comment answer is appropriate. 😂😂

She has been in his class half of last week, so she’s trying to figure him out.

I had to mention to her he keeps coming out of school with things in his mouth, the taxi said she’s having to get it out of his mouth every day as she’s strapping him in, paper clips, a screw (!) plastic coins, pieces of Lego, all sorts of random shit, not acceptable when they aren’t noticing as he could choke! Makes me question the supervision as I’ve said several times before.

This is what he bought home Friday 🤣🤣 he was jangling when he got out of the taxi, so I checked his pockets and this was all shoved in there, he said, ‘I took loads of cash from the classroom today’ then wanted me to use it to buy him a roblox game pass. Unfortunately doesn’t work like that mate!

He’s gone on school dinners today, with dh out of work now he qualifies for free school meals, I’m too tight to pay for it hence why he’s always had pack up. (When he got universal free meals in reception etc he used to eat his pack up back then at his old school so didn’t want to tamper)

I applied in September after dh left his job in the school holidays but we got declined. I knew it wasn’t right now that we are both doleys 🤣 so I enquired and was told I applied to the wrong council, (I applied to our council where we live, but because his school is in a different local authority I should of applied there, which is what nobody tells you) so anyway I applied and it got sorted last week.

I send him with pack lunch every day and it comes home untouched, barring the Kit Kat he eats, and with his school, I don’t choose the meals, the child does on the day (they say to promote independence choosing their self) so I’m still sending his Kit Kat in his bag and he gets to choose his own food, I doubt he’ll eat a meal but they do yogurt / fruit / jelly, so if he has something like that aswell as the Kit Kat I send it’s better than before.

Sorry! your getting my life story I’ve had 3 coffees since dinner time and I’m on a mission 🤣

Aha I thought everyone had gone quiet! Found you guys! Off to read the thread.

So, resolutions for me:
Try to only buy what I need or really really want
Drink less, and better, wine
Be more ecological and use our refill shop more to reduce plastic etc
Get organised with stuff

For DS:
Continue to work on emotional regulation
Carry on helping him to see things from other people's points of view
More family adventures

Things I'm grateful for in 2022:
DS being in a supportive setting
DS developing his confidence and feeling proud (especially in his Xmas play)
Our new kitten
Being able to give our old cat a dignified end
Happy holiday memories up in Northumberland and Yorkshire
An income
Finishing my kids novel about a paranormal mystery set on an island at summer camp

We are OK, pootling along here. My first day back this year, went well,lots of emails! DS doing fine overall but one incident today when he got frustrated means I need to replace something...and I've just had to buy a new battery for my car so not great timing. Oh yes, I bought a cheap old car to try and practice, I've had a few lessons now so feeling a bit more confident! But the lessons are also v expensive so can't afford too many!

@danni0509 DS has a packed lunch and then staff have been trying to encourage him to eat new foods, so he's been having both most days apparently!
@Jules912 glad DD settled and has a breakout space if needed.
Hi @openupmyeagereyes and @carriebradshawwithlessshoes and @Ahna65 and @Ponderingthemeaningoflife and @dimples76 and anyone else who I've missed!

Ds is stressing me out.

Just after Xmas he got dh phone and rang 999, he told them he wanted them to arrest his mum (me!) and other random shite, i was running ds bath and heard him asking for a police officer to come so shouted down to get the phone off him, they called back and I said sorry he has autism etc etc I then spoke to ds at length about only phoning 999 in an emergency, went through all emergency situations he should phone them, told him if it happened again in a non emergency I would take his roblox game away. He understood, I made sure he did.

Tonight I’m washing the pots, dh is sweeping the kitchen ds about a meter away sat on his iPad, is of course on the phone to 999 again.

He gave them our address said he needed an officer to come straight to the house then put the phone down, they didn’t ring back so I’m wondering if they will turn up? It deffo connected bcos he was on the call for 19 seconds I checked.

So he’s rang them twice in 2 weeks, am I going to get into trouble? 😂

Im pissed off with dh as both times it’s been off his phone, I told him keep your phone on you after the last time, ffs!

I know kids do these things, but fgs ds

I’ve deleted roblox, I mean what I say, he’s got to learn somewhere. I’ve explained 2 weeks ago that if it happens again I’ll take the game, so I’ve explained it all again about what I said last time it happened and because he’s done it again that’s the game home for now, he really does need to understand consequences for his actions.

Of course he’s fuming, screaming and hitting us and wants me arrested again etc etc, roll on bed time

*game gone for now

danni they may well come, I’m sure they will be understanding though. This is the sort of thing ds would do when he’s annoyed and not getting his own way. It’s not crossed his mind yet but only a matter of time.

Danni I bet they see this more often than you think. My good friend has a DS who is 9 and autistic, he did this a couple of months ago. Hung up and the police called back, spoke to my friend who explained and they were very understanding.

They didn’t come last night thankfully, never heard anything back from them.

Well that’s a bit worrying, especially since they didn’t call back to check. What if it had been an emergency?

Uno glad driving lessons are going well. Hope ds is ok today.

Ahna how was back to school/work?

danni have you got plans for ds birthday? We are having a party, hopefully it will go well.

Back to school / work went OK here, thanks! Bus seemed to go ok for DD although took her a while to get home - 45mins after finish. Guess that is helpful for work but also felt a bit bad in a way that she's just sitting there (although she doesn't mind being in the car). She was the last to be dropped home - maybe I'm being totally ridiculous but that's playing on my mind a bit - the driver (male) very friendly but I don't love the idea of her being one on one with a male I dont know? There is a tracking app I think for the bus so maybe that puts my mind at rest. Please tell me if I'm being ridiculous! Not sure what is "normal" - I guess I expected a supervisor to also be on the bus.

Ahna I wouldn’t be comfortable with that either, kids here usually have a chaperone.

Wee stopped using the taxi when DS came back alone with male driver. There was skdo lots of staffing changes that really upset him.

Open I thought the same, I thought it would be followed up, but then maybe they knew it was a hoax, I can’t be exactly sure what he said to them as I was chatting to dh in the kitchen, he always talks to himself so I assumed that’s what he was doing, I asked him what he said and he told me, they quite possibly knew ds was messing around? Or they have it on record he did the same thing 2 weeks ago? Which I told them he had autism and apologised. Anyways I’m pleased they didn’t come but yes I get what you mean about it’s surprising it wasn’t followed up.

No plans as such for his birthday. We have ordered him a cake (cooplands carrie cooplands 🤣 Delish) and plan to take him to kfc after he gets home from school for him to have some popcorn chicken if he’ll eat it, if not I’ll eat it on his behalf lol.

We have got him a micro scooter, it has flashing wheels etc and a kids fit bit, I’m trying my best to entice him out of the house a bit more because I’m absolutely sick to death of the kick offs every time I tell him we are going for a walk and some fresh air. I hate staying in the house and the majority of the time on weekend that’s what we do as he doesn’t like going out for any longer than an hour. I need a walk for my sanity and it kills boredom. So I figured these might help the situation, he likes my Fitbit and he asked for a scooter a while ago so win win.

What have you got for your ds? So hard to know what to buy when they are so close to Xmas. Asif they are 9!

ahna no I wouldn’t be happy with that, ds taxi driver is female, and he has a PA, female too, I wouldn’t be bothered about a male driver as such (although I find most male taxi drivers to be miserable old men, he’s had a male when his usual is on holiday and he’s quite blunt) I wouldn’t be happy with no Pa situation tho.

Thanks both - good to know you agree but also worrying.

@danni0509 you have me craving popcorn chicken now !

Danni ooooooo!!! Cooplands! Got an Xmas cake from there it’s been fab 😋😋.

Ahna that’s an unusual arrangement. Does she/ the other kids on the bus not need supervision? DS comes home on the bus, there’s i would say 15 children on there, a male driver who is lovely and 2 ladies. I mean the staff ratio at school is higher than that so for the same reasons I would have thought it was needed on a bus?! DS is fine in the car on a booster but for the first few weeks really carried on on the bus, getting up, being silly, getting on the floor etc. what would the driver do if DD or any child did that? Or are they all harnessed in? Or perfectly behaved? What if one was unwell or needed attention? I would have thought leaving aside your obvious concerns there would need to be someone else on the bus legally other than the person driving it? When DD (NT and 10) goes on a bus or even out of the school gates there’s several adults with her!