Primary School Auties 11: 2023 is here

[openupmyeagereyes]

Thread 11.

This is a thread for the parents & carers of children with additional needs. Most of us have autistic/ADHD children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Links to previous threads below.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed
Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2
Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3
Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4
Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1
Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1
Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7
Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8
Thread 9
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022
Thread 10
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4592899-primary-school-auties-10-summer-and-beyond-2022?page=1

liv how did the routine go this morning?

@danni0509 - do you think DS might behave better in school if he was given less easy work?

I worry there's an idea that if kids struggle in school you make the work easier - but that might even be counterproductive in some cases.

@SusiePevensie this is what was said by DSs very experienced OT in mainstream. She told me he was bored out of his mind given what they were doing with him and so playing up. That all said, their response was that they didn’t see his concentration/ attention at school so wouldn’t/ couldn’t give him more til he was sitting ready and waiting to learn and he wasn’t. It became a v circular argument.

I think they have to teach in different ways though. For DS' school, he is definitely one of the most academically able ones there, but his PDA means he struggles to do anything teacher led so has his choice time built in after every adult led activity (even really enjoyable ones!) because otherwise his anxiety gets too high and comes out as disregulated behaviour. The adult led lessons are short, like 20 mins, and very interactive. If they see a kid becoming distracted, the tas are on it, and they help re engage. He is definitely recapping phonics he's already done but it's like it's finally sticking due to all the repetition they do. They teach a lot more through play but they're still covering the same topics etc.
One thing I've noticed is that DS gets differentiated maths because he's way above what his class is doing in that area. Could you chat with the teacher and see if that's an option in areas of strength?

No. He wouldn’t behave any better.

They do differentiate for him a bit, so for instance, when the children are doing literacy, the class make sentences out of pictures as they cannot write sentences yet, so for ds, he likes to do the same as his friends so he will do the pictures too to keep him involved with the others but then ds will have a space below the pictures to also write the sentence.

Same for other topics, but I see on the app regularly the level of work set for him, like single phonics ‘m’ and ‘n’ and think it’s ridiculous, no offence if the other kids don’t know the phonics yet, but ds was doing those in 2018/2019. Last week he was writing phonic sounds in glitter with a picture of him doing it they uploaded on the app, I’m sure I have photos of him doing similar in yr1 (he’s yr4 now)

Im just not overly impressed. I feel like they hold his potential back to stay in line somewhat with the others iyswim.

I have spoken a couple of times to them about it.

I think it totally depends on the child. Ds has very low confidence and will immediately say work is ‘too hard’. It has to be an individualised approach. That said, children absolutely do not need to be sitting ‘at a desk ready to learn’. Some children learn better when they are active and of course children are just learning all the time anyway.

Sorry danni I missed your post. Great that they are doing some differentiation for him, but sounds like they need to do more.

So supply teacher not going so well after all, DD just been suspended for hitting her! This did however lead me to discover that the TA who's meant to help her in PE hasn't been for a while, so will be bringing that up at the re-integration meeting.

Sorry to hear that Jules. Was it properly documented?

Yes, they're actually fairly good in that respect. In fact they're pretty good with support generally but I'm thinking this is probably the point I apply for the ECHNA. If nothing else it might get the TA time back! Though I assume the assessment would be done by the same EP who saw her last half term and said she just needed a few more brain breaks.

@Jules912 push for the ehcp because then anything specified in it is legally enforceble, e.g. 121 help. You can apply yourself.

121 is a bit of a weird one as 90% of the time she doesn't need one, and when she does it's because she's dysregulated and then she tends to push them away. Apart from PE the times she needs one aren't predictable either.

Maybe having 1:1 support at certain times of the day, or for certain subjects, will make the rest of the day, or week, less stressful for her. Or it could be that something like OT or art therapy is enough to help her stay regulated the rest of the time.

That sounds stressful Jules. I do remember reading a case when I was preparing for Tribunal where the Tribunal accepted that an EHCP might be necessary not so much because of the level of support needed but to ensure provision was enforceable/protected. I just checked and it was MC v Somerset County Council (SEN) [2015] UKUT 0461 (AAC)

Took DD(3) swimming today, she is now more proficient in the water than DS (9). I was so happy in the pool but when the realisation hit me later it made me sad.

DS seems to have spent a lot of time in the reception classes this week (when he is in year 4). It makes a bit more sense today with the strike but he was there yesterday too. He is just in for the morning tomorrow.

An afternoon I was dreading actually turned out pretty positive. DSs SALT had made an application for him to have his own school iPad with software appropriate for him. He’s been using the general one so far. So a specialist SALT came to assess his abilities generally around language, communication etc. the school SALT asked if I would go in as he does loads more with me. So I took some stuff but was dreading it because you just don’t know do you and sometimes when he’s under pressure he detects that.

Anyway the assessment was an hour, he was on really good form and showed even by his standards that his reading and comprehension was great. We were only 20 mins in when the specialist SALT said she could see he was really bright and able and we could stop as she had a plan and would get things sorted. She said no promises but often aac usage fluently (and she had no doubts re DS) aids speech.

I came home and poured a large wine! It’s just so nice that he’s finally showing (even if it’s with me in school) that being NV doesn’t mean he’s not bright which is often the assumption.

That was so great to read Carrie. Well done to you both!

carrie that’s fantastic. Well done ds

Thank you x

Thanks so wonderful Carrie! So pleased for you and ds!

Sorry about the suspension Jules. How many days is she off for?

I know that feeling dimples, it's hard seeing the younger one overtake. I guess all the time spent in reception can go towards proof that he needs a different school.

Open it didn't, we got him all the way up to the bus twice but he wouldn't get on. He then took all the visuals down and scrunched them up (they were laminated so didn't rip) . Dd was off anyways cause of the strike and they are both off today so just hoping I can get him into school tomorrow. Not feeling particularly hopeful to be honest.

Just the one day ( thankfully they've stopped the each suspension has to be longer nonsense) but she's off today due to the strikes anyway.

liv ds has done that with visuals before. He’s never really got on with them. I think you probably have to be consistent though and it’s not a quick fix. I hope Friday goes better.

Luckily ds has been in despite the strikes.

I guess it would be tough for him going in when his sister was off. DS's class is finishing at 1:15 today so he is happy but it's another week of struggling to get my work done for me.

Happy Mother’s Day everyone, I hope you are all shown some appreciation today

I hope you all found Friday straightforward after the strikes.