Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

dimples well done to ds for noticing your mood. The party sounds lovely, I’m sure she would love the idea of bouncy castles and 100 candles. When is the birthday? I hope there’s a chance of it happening.

Light glad wfh is going well and is productive. Sounds like you’ve got into a good routine and that the kids are taking it well.

We are doing well. We haven’t taken ds out at all. I’m nervous of him suddenly deciding to kick off and meltdown about going somewhere or doing something in particular. We are lucky to have a garden and he generally does about 10,000 lengths of our living room daily anyway (stim). He understands why we can’t go out, in a simplified way, and he’s being super good about it so far.

Some school work is being done with a lot of cajoling. Yesterday he was up at 2:50 for the day so we only did a couple of the more fun things. For about 10 days he’s been up at 4/4:30. Today it was 5 so I’m hoping we’ve turned a corner though typically it was after dh and I were up at 12 trying to get a delivery slot so we didn’t really get the full benefit.

Thanks for those recommendations Light DS loves 'Do you know'.

Open I may need to reconsider our daily walks not so much DS but other people causing problems! As we walked back along the street we saw another SN child from school who gleefully told us that he was ill and self isolating (playing out in the front garden). Bit further along we saw our neighbour who is a widow in her 80s who is v fond of DS. Her next door neighbour shouted to me that elderly neighbour does not understand keeping a distance. DS and I ended running into the garden and shutting the gate -so glad that I had a magnetic lock fitted last year as she tried to get in to our garden but couldn't open it. By this point DS was screaming - not such a relaxing outing! Will definitely head out of the street in the opposite direction today.

dimples that was a narrow escape. Good thinking on the magnetic lock. Our back gate is a pain to open and close as the alignment of the bolt is off slightly as the wood has settled. Definitely no use in an emergency but at least ds can’t open it.

We’ve been doing a obstacle course/ circuits session most days. It takes about 9 mins and ds enjoys it. I need to find some new activities though. I wish his Lycra tunnel hadn’t been left at school.

We can't take ds out either open. No way he could understand that he isn't allowed in the playground. To be fair though I think he's actually loving being stuck in the house and not being made to go anywhere.
Dh has been taking dd and the dog out most days. I think she is suffering the most, she's really missing her friends.

Glad it's going ok Light.

Sounds stressful dimples!

Hi all! We made it to the Easter hols!! Novelty of schoolwork has definitely worn off here so I'm letting DS choose his own activities (mostly puzzles and playdo) for a while then will try again. We have applied for him to repeat Reception year. At bedtimes, he tells me what's worrying him, and he's worried now about time and the virus as he heard grown ups saying they both go round. He had got it into his head that time and the virus were the same thing bless him, and that the wolf from what's the time Mr wolf eats clocks, so what if the virus is in his belly too? Bless him. We've been having more impulsive grabbing behaviours and hyperness this week too but being stern just makes it worse so we are trying to handle it with fun and distraction! A lot of his old behaviours are so hard to not get cross at though, so I'm quite happy to veg on the sofa after bedtime! Trying to WFH is having limited success.

Lottie very tricky managing their anxiety. Is he doing any better? There are a number of articles on managing CV anxiety in children, hopefully you can find something that helps. I’m going to look at the Playmobil video later. Hope you’re managing to get some work done.

We had a good weekend, the weather was great. We planted some vegetable seeds we had from last year and a sunflower so we’ll see if they grow. I think they should be ok. Ds not interested at all but likes to play in the dirt

We managed to get half an hour of work done today after flat out refusal on Thursday and Friday. He did a couple of bits on Saturday and then yesterday I did a treasure hunt with some maths review questions. It’s so hard to get him started though once we get going he’s actually fine and quite enjoys it . He always chooses phonics last though!

I hope everyone has a good week. It’s strange to think it will be Easter this weekend. We managed to get Easter eggs delivered for dh and I. Ds has his PJ Masks toy that he wanted. I’ll still do a bit of a hunt for it though, maybe get him to read some Easter related words on egg shaped cards.

Yes I found a social story that was quite good. Still periodic episodes of the silly behaviour but also lovely bits too. Did some pen control worksheets this morning but then got silly with the pen and drew on the table. It wouldn't come off and I was like, oh no, but then it did. I started to get cross then I said, oh dear was that an accident, let's not do it again. Which of course, it wasn't. But taking the authority out of it can tend to make DS fed up of doing something. We played spring bingo in the garden too today and I've had to rehide the Easter eggs after DS found them in the cupboard! Oh and, in amazing news, had a phone consultation with the community paediatrician, and she agreed to diagnose DS with asc!!

had a phone consultation with the community paediatrician, and she agreed to diagnose DS with asc!!

That’s fantastic! Must be such a relief for you.

Sad news about Boris. I’m keeping everything crossed.

Repeating reception sounds like a good plan Lottie. I'm really not sure how anyone is managing working from home! Great news about the diagnosis.

Sounds like it's all going well open.

We're all pretty relaxed here. The kids are definitely going to be feral by September though!

That is great news about the diagnosis Lottie!

It is such a disconcerting time for adults as well as children.
Have you seen the Axel Scheffler illustrated e-book about Coronavirus that Nosy Crow have put out (free to download/view/print)? I haven't shared it with DD yet but it looks pretty good.
nosycrow.com/blog/released-today-free-information-book-explaining-coronavirus-children-illustrated-gruffalo-illustrator-axel-scheffler/

I also liked this "Gaspard the Fox" one. The author lives near me, so all the photos/illustrations/people are local (apart from the pink house: no idea where that is!), which probably makes me warm to it more, but it's also a story set now with everything weird because of Coronavirus, so it can be a good talking point for bringing out any worries.

Hope everyone is still managing OK. Starting to think about how we will make Easter a bit special. We've got eggs at least, and going to try to do some family skypes and crafts... not sure what beyond that really. Hopefully there will be some good children's movies on!

That is good news Lottie.

I have really scaled back what I was trying to do in terms of learning with DS and we're both happier. It is hard to get him to do anything non-screen based. I said to DS earlier do you fancy making chocolate nests tomorrow? His reply: Okay, if you insist!

Having got ourselves on a more even keel I am well and truly rocking the boat - I just got the green light to go ahead with adoption transitions next week

dimples that’s wonderful, congratulations 💖

Happy Easter, how is everyone getting on?

Things are mostly ok here though we’ve had some difficult moments too, behaviourwise (including a huge tantrum - with hitting - about the iPad last week). Yesterday ds slept until 6 which was lovely, today he’s been awake since 3:30 😴

We have a trampoline for the garden arriving later this week. I’m hoping it will get more than 5 minutes use, we’ll see.

I feel like I’ve not been very proactive over the last several weeks and need to shake myself up a bit. Ds is being very resistant to any idea of a schedule or work (I’m only trying to get him to do a small amount) and just wants to play or watch the iPad all the time. Bribery isn’t working, the Nintendo hasn’t been effective as a carrot and with no other trips or activities we don’t have the usual leverage. I’m really not sure what the answer is but I need to come up with some new ideas. I was so hoping that we could use this homeschooling time to at least make progress with his reading but it seems like it’s just not going to happen and he’ll go back to school even further behind.

Thanks for the links Light. Hope your Easter went well in the end.

That is wonderful news dimples!

I'm sorry it's been a bit tough open. I'm amazed you've managed to do anything really. I'm t'a so hard for them to understand about doing school
Work at home. I was talking to a the deputy head from ds's school about what they were going to do with the kids when they got back, she felt they would be spending quite a lot of the first term back just trying to catch them up. I think my kids are going to be pretty feral by September!

We're still having an ok time. Ds has had a couple of flip outs, on one he smashed the back of my phone when he threw it down the stairs. But then we had a major breakthrough when he came up 10 minutes later sat down in front of me and said 'I'm sorry i broke your phone mummy'. Absolutely huge in terms of his understanding but also his language!
Dd still having a harder time. She covered her entire room with baby powder and baby oil yesterday because she 'wanted a white room' sigh
Some mornings I wake up and wonder how we are going to keep going with this as it seems so relentless but I guess we just take it one day at a time!

Open I have certainly had to adjust my expectations down. DS's screen time has gone through the roof. I am counting a successful day at the moment as one with no hitting. I hope that the trampoline is a success. We have an indoor one which definitely helps with DS's self regulation. If I think that he would benefit from it and he refuses to, I get on it and that nearly always gets result I want.

DS seems v excited about meeting his little sister - tomorrow!! Excited and terrified in equal measure here

Thanks for the replies. The thing is these were things he was doing with me during term time and now it’s like pulling teeth to get him to do it, even though he has approx 14.5 hours to play the rest of the day!

liv I’m sorry your phone got broken, and that dd made a mess in her room. Great apology from ds though.

dimples tomorrow will be a very special day. How nice to have something so lovely to look forward to at the moment. How long is the introduction process?

We have a mini trampoline inside though he doesn’t use it much. He will use it as part of sensory circuits and likes to sit or lie on it but doesn’t bounce for very long on it. I think he will like a big one outside though and anything that encourages outside exercise is worth a try. At the least it will definitely get used on play dates in the future.

I hope today went well dimples

Yes, was thinking of you today @dimples76!! Hope you had a good day x

Thank you - it was a great day. DS coped really well. He was also able to talk about his feelings well. At bedtime he wanted me to give him his milk in a bottle like DD. DD seems totally smitten with DS. She is an absolute delight. Feeling very lucky

I’m so pleased dimples, wonderful news.

That's so brilliant dimples!

Ahhh, that's lovely to hear! What a brilliant start xx

Thank you!

How is everyone? DS is coping admirably well although yesterday he was keen to explore what effect shouting and screaming had on his baby sister. He soon realised that was not a good game. She moved in properly yesterday and everyone apart from me has had a good night's sleep.

I told DS that school work starts again on Monday and he laughed at me - not the best start!

Many congrats dimples 🥂 How is dd coping with the change?

I agree, it doesn’t bode well but you never know. Low expectations are key I expect, especially with a new sibling to play with.

Things are ok here, usual tantrums about screen time but otherwise not bad at all. Ds did some work more willingly on Thursday & Friday. I’m not sure what will happen tomorrow though when he’s expected to do more. They were supposed to be having an inset day but that seems to have been scrapped, sadly. Also, the trampoline is a hit so far

Dimples so pleased you have your dd

Hello to everyone else, hope things are going well.

Ds is going back to school tomorrow.

Really am not coping his behaviour has got worse than normal if that's possible. Dh working 14 hour days 6 days a week neither use nor ornament to me.

school have phoned me today and asked how things are going and I've just had to be honest not going to dress anything up they know what he's like, I don't feel judged when I speak truthfully because they understand so I explained everything and she said she knows how difficult ds is and she thinks he should come back to school because she was worried for my mental health, she said he'll have his 1-1 full time and they'll do lots of life skill activities.

Be much more fun for him there than at home with me, I'm not feeling very fun at the minute

Going to try get a GP telephone appointment tomorrow and see if I can get some antidepressants or something.