Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Oh dear dimples. Glad DD is feeling better but I hope administering the test isn't too stressful. Do they have a special kit for babies or how do you do it? Glad DS is being a trooper anyway.

DD is struggling this week but so am I TBH. Just work stress, OH work stress, worrying about stupid things, weird passage of time where nothing really happens, tralala ... it does all sound very mundane doesn't it? Well, we knew a global pandemic wouldn't be fun, and I guess at least it didn't wait until we were old.

It's just the same test kit Light. I think I did it right but DD was v distressed (out of sorts any way with feeling ill). DS looked on horrified.

Despite (or maybe because I am distracted by) DD's illness I feel less down this week but last week/weekend I found really tough. This pandemic emotional rollercoaster is exhausting

Glad you managed to do the test dimples, can’t have been pleasant. Fingers crossed it’s negative.

I don’t know about you all but for me the monthly hormonal ups and downs definitely make the situation better or worse, depending. In usual times you get some time to yourself but at the moment it’s harder with everyone at home all the time and every little niggly thing is amplified.

God yes! I've been struck by how extreme everyone's experiences of this are. My single friends who live alone are generally climbing the walls with boredom and feeling very isolated and low. Whereas people I know with families (even older kids) are really feeling the pressure of being on top of each other, a home suddenly having to also be a working environment for 3 or 4 or 5 people (and possibly entertaining others at the same time), not getting any space or change of scene. All while worrying about older family members, worrying about business/work, etc. etc.

You can't win really. I can't imagine there are many people who are not finding it stressful (even those of us lucky enough to not be in vulnerable groups or working on the front line of it - I can only imagine what that is like!)

Hello everyone; hope you and your little ones are doing ok. I was just wondering if any of you have had your DC’s support plans/IEPs updated to reflect any new arrival/departure/lunchtime routines due to the Covid situation? Or have you just had informal chats with TAs and teachers instead? My DD is due back next week and I want to be sure that they’re going to account for her additional needs around transitions and so on.

On the plus side this lockdown, after several tearful walks, DD agreed to try some ear defenders. A very pink pair! Bless her little socks, she loves them. Her whole body relaxed and a massive smile appeared the first time she tried them and the same reaction a couple of weeks later, every time. She wants to take them to school, too, and I think they may help especially at home time and lunchtime.

Furry ds is not back at school yet. I don’t know how easy it is to update an IEP vs an EHCP but I would probably agree via email (so in writing) the process, see if it worked and tweak as necessary.

It’s lovely the war defenders are helping dd, hopefully they will at school too.

Ds slept until 5:40 this morning, the latest in weeks. It was much appreciated, especially as he was up for over an hour the night before. It’s been rather a battle with school work this week though we managed 4 days out of 5 so I’m glad it’s the weekend and I can regroup!

We’re trying our first socially distanced walk with friends today. Hopefully it will go well and do ds some good.

Hi all sorry I dropped off the thread a bit! DS isn't back at school but I would chat to them about provisions if he was, especially around transitions and changes. Getting it in writing is probably a good idea.
@openupmyeagereyes sorry things are a bit tough. I had a blp yesterday morning and was just grumpy with everything! I think it all just got a bit groundhog day, which ironically DS likes as there's no change to contend with.
School activity last week was measuring and measurement. DS insistent on the real tape measure and I think we measured everything in the house and garden (honestly, it was hours)! He insisted I write each one down as well in his book. He's got a new special interest, colours. Specifically, mixing colours to make new colours. Oddly, the Do You Know episode was all about this too yesterday, and then he wanted a prism to see all the colours from white...and yet trying to get him to write is so hard!
Does anyone else's DC process things outwardly? DS has started naming all the rooms upstairs as year groups and saying I'm in year 4 and hes in foundation etc. He does lots of visual processing like that. Anyhoo, enjoy the weekend everyone. English Heritage is broadcasting live from Stonehenge.
I agree it's hard with no time to ourselves. I've started running purely for this purpose!

*blip

Thanks for your advice @openupmyeagereyes @LottieBalloo that’s very helpful.

Yes, Lottie, my DD is very visual in that sense. Drawing a problem or helps to process it and of she’s become frustrated with something and is at the point of screaming I find hand over hand with barely any verbal instruction really defuses things. Same on pick up from school, I find signing to her works a treat. Less information to work out, I guess.

Fortunately DD tested negative so our isolation is over, for now ...

Furry I have had four phone calls with the school SENCO about DS's return to school. She also shared with me the risk assessment for DS (think that they have to do that for children with EHCPs). So, for example we agreed that DS will go in for a half day on his first day back and she will call me on that afternoon to discuss how it went and whether 1/2 days or whole days would be better.

Lottie my DS likes to go around the house ringing his bell 'Red Class to the Library'. Then I discover that DD and I are meant to be Red class.

DS is in for his 3rd half day at school - going well so far!

How is everyone?

Glad you are out of isolation @dimples76 and that DS is enjoying school!

DC still seem to be enjoying being back. I am not enjoying WFH in this heat! But mustn't grumble really, all fine here.

It's funny, something I've noticed is that DD's writing is actually OK in every context but English. If she is writing for the sake of writing she really doesn't want to do it. But if she's writing something that she's interested in (maths or science generally or anything to do with bugs) she doesn't really even need encouraging, just goes for it.

I need to just reframe all her english work as being thinking of adjectives for beetles and worms instead of fountains and turrets!

We're ok. Reading and writing getting there. Maths too. Lots of science experiments. New special interests for DS are Ryan's World and colour mixing. He wants me to make ooblek now so have ordered corn starch online...

dimples glad school is going well. Are you aware of any issues and what, if anything, they’ve done to mitigate? I did love your post about you and dd being in red class. So cute

Light glad dd is still enjoying school and writing about her preferred subjects if not her actual school work. It’s all practice.

Lottie sounds like you’re having lots of fun.

Things are plodding on here. We’ve arranged ds’ annual review in July, online so goodness knows how that will go. I’ll submit an email about it beforehand so that nothing gets missed that I want included.

Ds is still waking early. We’ve had a few days that have been after 5 but also a few that are before 4 (like today!) 😴

Open DS has had 3 half days to settle back in. Today is the first full day - school are happy to revert to part time if he is too tired. Other potential challenge today is my sister (who is a TA) will be in his bubble. 4am - poor you!

Light that's great about the writing - I do think that some of the literary topics are not always v inspiring and the focus on SPAG rather sucks the fun out of learning.

Lottie sounds like you're being kept busy!

Bit of a break through yesterday: got more "S"s the right way round than the wrong way round.

Bit of a stressful morning today though - very in her own world, socks uncomfy, shoes uncomfy - quite hard to get out the door, but we did it and she found a baby shield bug queuing for school (DD, not the shield bug) and took that in with her, so hopefully that will have cheered her up.

I suspect the heat isn't helping....

I haven't posted for a while. Just having a little catch up on everyone's posts.

Ds Senco from school phoned me last Wednesday and asked if she can get the LA to start the process for Special school. They had briefly mentioned this to me early April when i sent him back in. She also said she had had a chat with our area Ed pyshc recently (can never spell that) & she agreed he needed to move as soon as possible as mainstream isn't meeting his needs.

So anyway, yeah. Ds is going to special school next year. He'll go back to this school September but soon as a place becomes available at the SN school he'll move on so I presume that will be at some point during yr 2. Bless him, feel so sorry for him. He loves going to this school and he always talks about the juniors etc he wouldn't understand what was happening and I just feel guilty for him.

I've mentioned on here before I'm not happy with the school he has to go to. There are 2 here, 1 isn't suitable for ds (he's too advanced ) then the other is the one he has to go too, the senco named this school on the phone the other day it's like first choice for this area and that's what your given and I don't think they expect the parents either give a shit or won't oppose it? Cheeky fuckers! Like your supposed to be greatful?

The school he will have to go to is the one my sister in law worked at as a teacher if you remember me saying and she's told me some things 😩 and I speak to parents with children there who don't seem impressed, I'm not impressed and I've never been in 😆

An hour a way there is an independent special school (it's an OUTDOOR school) have I told you a thousand times before Ds lives outside?? it's got 5 children per class, have I told you before that Ds can't cope in the classroom with too much noise and needs small classes etc it has stables they learn to horse ride etc.

I'm sure you realise what I'm getting at, what do you think my chances are?? I've already had a half hour chat with the head teacher and she said I can drive there and look round with ds September when she's allowed people in. I told her Ds is at nursery level and he's nearly 7 and she was like right he needs this this and this, I told her he has behavioural problems she didn't seem bothered!

It does only go to age 11 though and I'm sure the LA won't fund it, it's v expensive!

One can dream. Why does everything have to be so fucking difficult?

I don't want to get my heart set on it when I know he's v unlikely to get a place. I'm thinking of setting up a just giving page to pay for it 😂😂😂

School at the min are doing my head in, you know me! Never happy! 🤣

He's been doing 9-3 since October, even April / May when I sent him in during lockdown it was always 9-3, then when other children were allowed back from 1st June they told me Ds could only do 9.30-2pm because he doesn't know how to socially distance and they have 3 staggered starts and finishes so Ds has to go in after all the other 3 groups have started and be picked up before all 3 groups finish.

Taking the piss as usual........

Open I just read your post about the giving the 'one fits all' crap. I'm with you! It's all they ever bloody do. Always a babyish approach even when you know they are so much more capable, it's like they write them off just by their diagnosis. Infuriated me.

Ds has been referred to incontinence and when they phoned me a couple of weeks ago, the incontinence nurse asked me if.....................

I've sat Ds on the toilet before.

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Erm, I've been trying to toilet train him for the best part of 4 years I must've forgotten that one. Ffs!

Oh danni, ( ) for you. You must have felt like shouting at the incontinence nurse! I guess for her to have asked it means there must be parents who haven’t but still v annoying. That aside I hope they can help.

Regarding the school, I’d start writing a list of why the likely school is not suitable for ds and why the independent school is. It’s probably a good idea to visit both if you can. People do seem to manage to get funded places but not without a fight.

I set up a new thread - hope that’s ok.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5

That school sounds amazing Danni. I'm sure that it will be an uphill battle but worth a shot?

I was v depressed yesterday when I realised that it is 3 years since I stated toilet training DS. He seems v atypical in his toileting he has had days, weeks and months accident free and then 5 accidents each day for weeks on end. None of the professionals who I have consulted have been able to help.

See you on the new thread!