Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Just reading and catching up on what's been happening the first week back after Christmas! Will post properly tomorrow

Sounds positive for a lot of you, thats great.
We've had a terrible week at home, went to the family centre and called 111 about DS' s mental health. His birthday is soon and the waiting is driving him over the edge. But apparently he's been wonderful at school and got Star of the Week!

Jamhandprints sorry to hear things are so tough. Hope that you manage to get some support and things are better after the birthday

That sounds incredibly tough Jam. Amazing to think what he must be doing to hold it together at school. How long to go til his birthday? Maybe things will start to calm down after that a bit?

That sounds tough Jamhandprints but great that he got star of the week. Have things improved much at school? Did the ed psych see ds at school?

Sorry things are difficult Jam, it is so frustrating when they hold it together at school and then let it out at school. Hope you can get some support and that school can see through the being a 'star' when at school and then letting it out later. Much the same with DD here but I'll write about that in a moment.

Also sorry things are not better Harley, hope you can get things moving with getting him moved to another school soon.

Sounds like it has been a mixed first week for many of you.

Liv, how exciting abut the SS placement. Best of luck!

Love the drawing danni a very good shocked face. Very clever I need to get an A3 folder too!

Dimples those giggles sounds lovely. DD tends to add squiggly lines to her writing, often elaborate swirls and patters

I like the golden equation open! Glad your Ds managed to get outside at school.

light Hope the visit to nursery went well and that your DD had a good first day back Thursday. The thing about Catie's amazing machines made me smile!

DD appeared to have had a good week back last week, but it must have been too much as she then went to to develop a twitch or tic at the weekend. I though it was to do with her tonsils or sinuses but having taken her to the GP this morning we now have another referral to paediatrician (on top of the one we have for the frequent weeing!). Doctor Google seems to suggest anything from anxiety/nervous tics to something linked to strep throat called PANDAS (I'll try to ignore that one as to scary).

She did go to two parties this weekend which was probably too much but having had no invites in the autumn I didn't want to turn down wither of the two. The first party was spent mostly on my lap although she did join in for the first 20 minutes or so. Interestingly it was after this party that the twitch started [sceptical]. Yesterday's party had a bouncy castle so she just bounced about for and hour and a half, ignoring the other children and any attempts of social interaction completely. Although she did take it on herself to tell the father of the birthday boy that some children were playing near the pump for the bouncy castle which was quite cute, she's a stickler for rules .

Updated the anxiety log with new twitch development. Not sure hat else can do, probably need to gather strength to speak to Senco.

Random sceptical there, tried to inset an emoticon!

Apparently i am a shit parent and ds is a naughty manipulative little boy.

Who said that harley

I'll have one guess and I bet I'm right 😆

Shocking how they are behaving.

Actually this was the representative from the council. Even tried to say she doesn't believe half the stuff that we say as she doesn't believe such a lovely school would do it.

Harley and yet you have a dc in reception who’s doing fine?

I’m sorry, that’s awful. I would be complaining to someone more senior.

Little does dd still have the twitch?
Ds loves a bouncy castle, one of his favourite things.

@open i pointed this out and they said thats becuase children are different.

I will be. This is far from over!

Tricky day yesterday. Ds was out of sorts at school for much of the afternoon, I’m waiting for more feedback on that today. Then we had a play date after school and there were a couple of issues with sharing (not just ds, his NT friend too). So many toys and they end up arguing about the same one

Early start here today, 4:20 ish.

Ds got a great game for his birthday, Googly Eyes. It’s really encouraging him to draw which is wonderful. As there are only 3 of us and ds can’t read we play an amended version and just take turns with one of us telling him what to draw when it’s his turn. Sometimes he’ll just decide to draw Thomas instead of what he’s supposed to but other times we’ve guessed correctly what he’s drawing. It’s lots of fun to play, anyway

So if it's because "children are different" why can't it be that the (otherwise lovely) school is failing to meet the needs of your different child, rather than that their (otherwise lovely) Mum is? Why is the assumption always that it's the parent? Even when e.g. they were explicitly telling the incontinence nurse that they were ignoring her advice, weren't they?

Sorry DS had a tricky day open. That game sounds great though, I will look that up! DD doesn't draw much and then sometimes she'll just amaze me by drawing something quite detailed! But she prefers to do patterns and colours really. DS doesn't draw at all though (we had to do a page of "I can draw this" for his nursery induction form and he did 2 lines and a squiggle!) So we might have to play during his nap if we do get it!

He went in for his first full morning at nursery today. He was so excited, gave me a quick hug and a silly wave and then I was no longer required.... didn't really know what to do with myself, I'm so unused to transitions being non-traumatic!

Garghhh!!!

Sorry, the Garrghhh was supposed to be in relation to your DS's LA person Harley, not DS lack of transition trauma!

@LightTripper i asked all the questions you just have and they came back to same answer just tell him to get into school.

That is awful Harley because you are amazing fir having the strength to keep on fighting.

Sorry your DS had an out of sorts day open hope he is feeling better today? Also a belated happy birthday to your DS, that game sounds fun!

Great that your DS had a good first morning of going in Light!

DD still has the twitch/tic. I mentioned it to an experienced (with SN) colleague this morning and she said it's often an anxiety thing, which correlates with my internet research. Will see how this week goes but may contact Senco about support. Tricky as DD was mostly happy when at school
last week and is progressing well academically so they just don't believe me re the anxiety. It's almost like they have to fall behind or visually struggle for them to offer support. Will call LA later as minor got back to me re lunchtime support when I called before Christmas

They told me homestart and child and well being services expressed concerns over anxiety issues home and family i have spoken to both services this morning and both say they haven't 🤔

"Dear XXX

Thank you for an interesting meeting yesterday.

You mentioned there had been concerns from Home Start and Child and Wellbeing Services over anxiety issues at home, so obviously I was keen to speak to them to make sure we are doing everything we can to support DS - but neither seem to have any record of these concerns. Could you just confirm to me who the concerns were raised by so that I can follow up?

You also noted some factual conflicts between what I had told you about situations at school and evidence that you had. If you could let me know which specific situations this relates to, I'd be happy to pull together a file of relevant facts known to me so that you have all the evidence you need to help ensure DS is supported appropriately at school and at home.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Harley"

Or is that just me being a passive aggressive shit? I'd be very tempted though. They are saying stuff to you in person that they wouldn't dare put in writing as there is no way they can back it up!

@LightTipper that email is so perfect and i am tempted to send it. As your right they wouldn't dare say it in writing. Its like the manage move they wouldn't suggest in writing we backed all that up via email.

Great draft email Light. Glad that DS's nursery start went well.

Harley sorry that you are going through this.

Open sorry that yesterday afternoon was tricky but the game sounds good.

LittleSwede my nephew had a bit of a tic/twitch earlier this year but it just seemed to abate on its own. The paediatrician said that they're more common than you think and often just go away without any intervention

@Littleswede, the tic sounds like it was brought on by stress, hopefully a couple of quiet weeks might help. She did well to do 2 parties. I know what you mean about not wanting to turn down those rare invites! DS is fine at a softplay party or outdoor activity thing but cant really cope otherwise.

Yes, the ed psych saw him at school just before christmas but I havent heard anything since. She spent a long time with me which was nice but it all depends how he was on the day really. He doesnt always hold it together at school but has done well so far this term.

His birthday is tomorrow so we had lots of tears before bed. He wanted me to stand next to his (mid sleeper) bed and stroke his hair. He grabbed my free hand and hugged it like a teddy. He was just starting to relax, then randomly punched me in the face! I pulled my arm away and stepped back and he immediately said sorry and begged me to keep stroking his hair. It's making me (and all the family) really jumpy and nervous. :-(