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Original poster

Is anyone around? I have got myself into a real state after discussing DS round my parents house.

87 replies

Pinkchampagne · 24/03/2007 23:40

I expressed a few of my concerns about DS1 to my parents tonight & got an awful response. They think I am putting him down & not protecting him enough, which is as far from the truth as you can get!
I love my little boy to pieces & want help for him, and this is why I have pushed for a referral, but they can't see this & feel I need to do more to help him.
Tonight was horrible & I have got myself in a real state.

OP posts:
Chandra · 24/03/2007 23:44

I'm not sure if I can be of much help, but here I am.

I really don't know how are things in general, but I noticed that grandparents in my family (say my parents, h's mum, my sister's pil) had (or have) a huge problem accepting that something may be wrong. Call it denial but... it happens

You are doing the right thing, if things are getting bad being refered will help either to help him or reasure you that things are OK.

Chandra · 24/03/2007 23:45

What happened? (if I may ask)

bubblicious · 24/03/2007 23:46

PC what happened after I left, from what I saw was DS having a -- about youger DS having a Birthday!

bubblicious · 24/03/2007 23:47

bl**dy parents!

luckylady74 · 24/03/2007 23:49

imo the generation gap really shows with the special needs issue - could it be that they were shocked and therefore defensive? when my ds1 was dx it felt like my dm suddenly forgave me for all the behaviuoral issues that she'd blamed on my poor parenting lol! give it time - it was horrid for you, but they clearly care. i think if you're not in the system of dx/referral it's unbelevable how random and crap it can be! sorry you had a bad night

bubblicious · 24/03/2007 23:51

PC I also got accused from my DM on how I reacted on my eldest on the way she shouted at every ine to be quiet when they sang HB to DD" tell them to bog off you are so in tune tell them Im here!!!LOL LOL LOL

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 24/03/2007 23:52

I said that I was concerned about him & how I had spoken to the SENCO (they know I have concerns about him) & asked for a referral, following his report. (DS has definite dyspraxic tendencies & there have been concerns since nursery days)
They got very angry with me & accused me of putting him down & not protecting him. They told me to just get him a home tutor & stop trying to label him etc.
I ended up in lots of tears & swore at my dad, which I would NEVER normally do! I just feel so upset & frustrated.

OP posts:
bubblicious · 24/03/2007 23:53

PC im on MSN so please feel free to rant!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 24/03/2007 23:54

They said I should have empathy for him because I was a problem child!

OP posts:
bubblicious · 24/03/2007 23:55

sad] did H say anything!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 24/03/2007 23:55

I'm going to bed in a minute, bubble, but needed to get some of this off my chest beforehand!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 24/03/2007 23:56

He is too drunk to talk any sense!!

OP posts:
bubblicious · 24/03/2007 23:57

Im on Msn if you need to rant!!!!

VeronicaMars · 24/03/2007 23:57

It sounds like they're in denial. Don't be upset, you are just facing up to what has to be done to help him. You're his mother and that's what you need to do. They are his Grandparents and maybe they are finding it hard to deal with what you have already come to terms with. Maybe they need to understand more of how it is all affecting you.

luckylady74 · 24/03/2007 23:57

no disrespect to your parents, but i often think that fear of a label actually is fear of admitting the special needs exist and the stigma was far greater just a generation ago. i think you are obviously fighting to get your son the correct support - and when he gets that and is happier for it then you can say SEE I WAS RIGHT!

bubblicious · 24/03/2007 23:57

come and talk, my DH has also gone to bed!

bubblicious · 24/03/2007 23:59

there are messages waiting for you!

Have you only just got home???

Chandra · 25/03/2007 00:01

Pinkchampagne, I'm really sorry they have give you this bad time.

Don't let them take away the trust you have on yourself, you know your child better than anyone, you know every detail of how he is developing, they don't. Whether we like it or not, far too many conditions went undiagnosed in their times, so they may tend to think things are not that bad. It may feel as if you are swiming against the tide but keep the objective in mind: you are just trying to get the best help for your child, period.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 25/03/2007 00:02

Yes, not been home long, but really need to sleep because my eyes hurt!
They said if they were me, they would be far more concerned about my own problems than DS's!

OP posts:
bubblicious · 25/03/2007 00:03

Tell them to accept what is what!

Chandra · 25/03/2007 00:04

I think they should be ashamed of themselves in your behalf

bubblicious · 25/03/2007 00:04

by the way if my DD marries your DS then I will be pleased!!!!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 25/03/2007 00:04

They won't accept anything! It was like talking to brick walls!!

OP posts:
bubblicious · 25/03/2007 00:05

ok I admit your DS can at times be frustating but I can honestly say I like him!

bubblicious · 25/03/2007 00:05

bit like you then and the neck thing!