Is anyone around? I have got myself into a real state after discussing DS round my parents house.

[Pinkchampagne]

I expressed a few of my concerns about DS1 to my parents tonight & got an awful response. They think I am putting him down & not protecting him enough, which is as far from the truth as you can get!
I love my little boy to pieces & want help for him, and this is why I have pushed for a referral, but they can't see this & feel I need to do more to help him.
Tonight was horrible & I have got myself in a real state.

Thankyou. Same to you. Guess we just take it one step at a time.

Indeed we do

This is normal. It's because they love him, honestly it is. They are wrong and you are right, but they just are too in love with him and think you are picking on flaws and that is unfair. A mother's lvoe and a grandparent's love is different. Both are great, but they are big soppy bags of devotion, you have to be more practical in your love.
I totally empathise with you. My ds is dyspraxic and has Aspergers and my mum, who worships him, can't bear to think anything is 'wrong' or different about him.
My solution is not to discuss it with her.

My son is a completely fabulous boy though - I agree with her about that!

sr ~ have to say a gp is in no way qualified with regards to a dx of anything like that in a child.

I know, Aloha. They adore DS & don't want anything to be wrong with him (I obviously feel the same), but it is the way they almost blame me for putting him down & not doing enough for him myself that really upsets me.
I have learnt now not to discuss it at all around my family & won't mention it anymore.
I guess I just felt they had a right to know what was going on, but it all ended in tears.
Dreading his assessment so much! I fear that my DS may be diagnosed with AS as well as dyspraxia.

From what I have read of him, he sounds gorgeous, Aloha.

It is a horrible shock to get any sort of diagnosis and really upsetting, but it doesn't change yoru lovely child. Just makes it easier to get help for them. My ds is heaven. He really is. So lovely and full of love. The best boy in the world. But his dx makes his school life much better. Please don't worry too much. A dx doesn't change your lovely child, it can only do him good.
If talking about it with your parents upsets you, don't do it. They dont' really understand.

one thing I will say not in a bad way or anything is that once you get your child in the system they will keep referring to the label adn it will stick adn when you want them to stay out of your family life a bit it is hard to rein in all the assessments and discussions about your child they pick at everything your child does and ask you all about what it is like at home and how you parent, which might be helpful or might not be, but good luck with everything, I know it is hard when your parents do not support you.

I found it very intrusive and not helpful, but of course others find a diagnosis a great relief and get lots of good help.

Much as I know as a mother that my DS is different & does have difficulties, I still feel upset at the thought of him being officially diagnosed. I think it is because there will suddenly be no maybe, if that makes any sense at all.
I know it won't change my lovely boy or the way I feel for him, but right now I can barely think about his possible dx without getting myself really upset.

I understand that, I think it is difficult and no one knows your child like you do.

I did not find the labels helpful and my ds found them distressing, all the assesments and going with the group for special help, he hated it.

but it is up to you, I found researching theses conditions and spectrums of disorders helpful so that the experts won't stampede over your opinions and patronise you, sometimes they did try and twist everything my ds said or did to try and fit a diagnosis, but none in particular actually fitted.

So you didn't find it very helpful having a diagnosis JL?