Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

Oh dear god, all this over a stopwatch??

78 replies

Triggles · 29/08/2011 20:16

DS2 has been obsessed the last couple days with a stopwatch that we got in a free games pack. We've let him play with it, no big deal. But DH set it down somewhere today, and now we can't find it and DS2 is having a meltdown. And of course, DH is having one as well, doing the whole "laying down the law" crap, which we all know works sooooo well with children with ASD, eh? Hmm So DH shouting and swearing, DS2 screaming and crying... DS3 unbelievably (thankfully) sleeping through it all. I'm trying to calm DS2 and telling DH to stop shouting and swearing as he's just making it all worse....

Yep... right old fun time here tonight. I need a drink.

OP posts:
Original poster
Triggles · 29/08/2011 20:17

And I am sick to death of DH's intolerant attitude towards DS2 lately. He's using his own depression as an excuse to be a right nasty bully to everyone, especially DS2, lately, and I'm sick of it. Tomorrow, I'm digging out the video camera and setting it up to record and letting him SEE how god-awful his behaviour really is.

OP posts:
moosemama · 29/08/2011 20:23

I feel your pain Triggles.

Two of mine (one AS, one NT) kicked off this evening, both times because dh had been inconsistent and not kept them to strict rules:

  1. ds1 - running around the front driveway in his favourite pjs, despite a no pjs outside the house rule. Obviously being his favourites, they are about 6 inches too short in the leg, 3 inches too short in the arm, have a huge whole in the knee and on top of that he'd dropped his dinner all down the front of them. I told him he had to come in OR get dressed and then go out - cue huge meltdown because 'Daddy said it was ok'. Angry
  1. dd - came in the house with one of the plush flowers off the dashboard of the vw. We have had an ongoing battle about them over the holiday, because she keeps taking them out, strewing them all over the place and losing them, so the rule is she isn't allowed to take them off the dashboard anymore. I took it off her and explained the rule again, only for dd and ds2 to tell me that 'Daddy said it was ok'. Aaargh! Angry

Men - sometimes they're neither use nor ornament. Hmm

Mine are all in bed now and I have a thumping headache. Hope it settles down at your house soon. Wine

moosemama · 29/08/2011 20:24

Cross posted.

Video camera sounds like a good idea - nothing like seeing yourself through other people's eyes to pull you up short.

smugtandemfeeder · 29/08/2011 20:28

Hi Triggles. Have a glass of Wine on me.

Sorry you are having such an utterly rough night. My DH is much the same, just been diagnosed Bipolar and put on strong meds which seemed to make him very irritable and want to go back to "old school parenting". Then they knock him out at night and so I have to do everything during the night. I called the doctor yesterday and asked them to come and check on him because I was worried it was the medication side effects. They came over and asked lots of questions, didnt do anything but said he could have some vallium today if he was still stressed out.

It seems to have shaken him out of it and he has been much calmer and quiet today. Obviously not his medication then!

Hope things get better for you very soon. The video camera sounds like a very good idea. I was going to do the same yesterday.

Original poster
Triggles · 29/08/2011 20:34

I'd almost welcome his meds knocking him out at night. But no, he's up late, still growling, and then miserable in the morning, claiming that he didn't sleep well (despite a full night of dreadful snoring). And then alternates between shouting, nodding off, and growling all day again.

sigh

It wouldn't be nearly so annoying if he didn't have all afternoon (from 1:30pm) and evening the other day out with his mates for his friend's stag do. So he got most of the day child-free, whilst I was home dealing with both children, dinner, and bedtimes (not an easy task with a 5yo that cannot be left unattended!). I can't even have an hour child-free as he "can't cope" with them. arghhhh

OP posts:
Ben10WasTheSpawnNowWeLoveLego · 29/08/2011 20:46

I've got a DH who has just started steroids for his chest/lung infection and asthma.......... I think that I will be posting on here in despair tomorrow once they get into his system. He looks like this on them Envy - think incredible hulk type behaviour Grin

Have some Wine Triggles and Smug. I'm having a Baileys with you.....

Original poster
Triggles · 29/08/2011 20:48

We have an in house visit from the OT tomorrow. I've already warned him he'd better be on his best behaviour, as otherwise we'd end up having to deal with ss, and I'd NEVER forgive him for that.

OP posts:
smugtandemfeeder · 29/08/2011 21:20

triggles, Ben10 and moose I'm thinking of starting a thread called 'I've actually cracked up now - support thread' perhaps we can all join it. Free wine and chocolate for all. Triggles I wish I had answers and advice but if I did I wouldn't be so crazy at the moment.

Original poster
Triggles · 29/08/2011 21:24

hahahahahahaha

smugtandemfeeder thank you - that made me laugh! I'll be in line for that thread, along with my hand out for the chocolate and wine. I'll be easy to spot - hair sticking out on end (from pulling it out from stress) and glazed "deer in headlights" look.... Grin

possibly carrying a cast iron frying pan with a dent in one side.... Hmm

OP posts:
moosemama · 29/08/2011 21:30

I'm definitely qualified for that thread Smug. Grin

Still no wine or chocolates for me though - which is a pity, because I'm sure things wouldn't seem so bad if I was still indulging. Sad

smugtandemfeeder · 29/08/2011 21:36

Made myself laugh too!

I'm not drinking either but I may have to make an exception if I join that thread. And I'm not having any trouble eating huge quantities of chocolate every day either so ill have your share moose

intothewest · 29/08/2011 21:45

Hi- Can I join?...............It's been 'one of those days !!!!' Hmm Confused... I have beer and chocolate to share Smile

moosemama · 29/08/2011 21:50
Grin
intothewest · 29/08/2011 21:52

It's broken,Moose,therefore no calories ?!

smugtandemfeeder · 29/08/2011 21:53

into welcome welcome welcome. As long as you have totally cracked up you are eligible to join. We are all looking for some kind of stopwatch.....

Original poster
Triggles · 29/08/2011 22:00

welcome welcome intothewest ooooooooo beer!!! I like wine, but am a beer kinda gal, I will admit! Grin woohooo! toss me a cold one, pleeeease!!!!!

OP posts:
intothewest · 29/08/2011 22:01

In my experience,it's under the tv stand or down the back of the sofa..........

Original poster
Triggles · 29/08/2011 22:02

oh.. and on the stopwatch front, he has finally fallen asleep... still no clue where the blasted stopwatch is... Hmm

but he likes electronic timers... (plays with a chicken shaped timer at his nan's every visit Grin - walks in, gives nan a hug and kiss, then says "can I have the chicken please?" LOL) I may check poundland for an electronic egg timer and buy a couple... heheheeeee

see? I think better with booze in my system... fact!!! Grin

OP posts:
intothewest · 29/08/2011 22:03

sorry slow at typing-....opens fridge...gets COLD beer ...and chucks it to TRIGGLES

Original poster
Triggles · 29/08/2011 22:04

hmmm... don't think the sofa has been checked... (although under the tv stand has been checked a couple times! LOL)

I won't mention further checking to DH. He's finally stopped ranting, and I don't want it to start up again. Keeping the frying pan next to me on the sofa, just in case he starts growling again. I figure two hits should stop the growling... LOL... possibly three Grin

OP posts:
intothewest · 29/08/2011 22:05

Oh and Moose,it's safe to come out now.I've eaten the chocolate Smile

Original poster
Triggles · 29/08/2011 22:05

catches beer... chug chug.... bliss!!! Grin Thanks!!

OP posts:
intothewest · 29/08/2011 22:10

....so why do the DCs and DHs get to have meltdowns and we don't ?......

smugtandemfeeder · 29/08/2011 22:13

I really want to have a melt down. I'm having a silent one. DH and DS have gone away for the night and I have cleaned downstairs to an amazing standard. It actually is all their fault!!

The stopwatch really must be under, behind or in the sofa.

Original poster
Triggles · 29/08/2011 22:15

I'd love to know that myself. And the luxury of "coming to terms with our child's disabilities - having to get my head around it" !!! I honestly don't have that luxury. It's face it, get over the upset, and get to work getting him support and caring for him.

I've noticed that it seems perfectly acceptable them for not to be able to cope, but not for the mum. What's up with that?!?! Hmm

OP posts: