Friday night chat...

[signandsmile]

How is everyone?

This week has been hectic, I feel like I am going to meet myself coming back IYSWIM,

But ds had first visit to 'big school' left there for 45 mins with portage teacher. and did brill!

Also music sessions are going really well.

and my best friend is moving 2 mins walk away from me, (rather than 25 mins drive, hurrah!!!! )

I am on the althou it is white not red.

and I have decided to loose a stone by the time ds goes to school. (yeah I know thats a really wimpy target, but there are a lot of stones to loose and I want something that feels do-able and not another burden.)

do you think you'll get ds2 checked lenin? My ds2 is almost 2 and has very few words, he's been flagged as having a delay, possibly due to glue ear he's had for the last 2 winters.

my default is always panic, get him seen I suppose it's easier in a way for me in that dd3 sees a whole raft of people so I just grab them and ask what they think, not as an official thing, I'm getting used to being told I'm worrying over nothing, apart from his speech but I think that will come in time.

Hi, Lenin. I'd still say get on to the SALT waiting list. In 6 months you may be kicking yourself if there is still a problem, or you may be happy to cancel. The list is so long you can wait and see while still being on the list.

If you can go private, then not such a worry, I suppose. The Hanen books, It Takes Two to Talk, or the ASD specific More than Words from Winslow are great if you want to do anything yourself at home, in the meantime.

Lenin - as a language delay veteran, I'ld say shell out £100 or so quid for a private SALT assessment/report/recommendations as a one off, unless NHS can get you an appointment relatively quickly (highly unlikely, sadly).

Woofie - we've spent years in the no ASD DX no mans land, noone has turfed me off here yet, some kids just don't neatly fit the diagnostic boxes but still have difficulties.

Hello everyone, late to this as the lack of sleep last week caught up with me so went to bed early evening with dd whilst dh entertained ds with the football. Not too bad a night last night with ds later but still feeling shattered today.
A quiet week last week, still waiting for ds's case to go to panel so not much happening there. Dd did end of year assessments and apparently did very very well her teacher dragged me in to tell me how well she had done Dd was very happy as the class earned 39 minutes of SATs golden time for their efforts (she is easily pleased )
Ds has two GCSE English papers next week poor boy so expect it will be a tricky week and dd has a paed appointment and a school trip so plenty to keep me busy again.

I'ld say by 2 for private SALT if no more words by then. But bear in mind my perspective - my child's speech didn't come right between 2 and 3, though many childrens will do as they are just late talkers, so of course I am going to be v. pro intervention for an under 3, as it wouldnt have been wasted in my DS's case.

well I assume what they do at 2 will be same as at 3 but with lower expectations - so SALT would look at understanding of language, to check it's age appropriate -eg. put the DOLL in the BAG, put the BEAR in the BOX type instructions, play/imagination, and how he communicates non-verbally, and I imagine would want to look at the range of sounds your DS can make, and whether he has difficulties eating/drinking. and make recommendations as to how to encourage his language development.

Thanks triggles and totalchaos- I knew you wouldn't turf me out! Just feeling a bit frustrated at the lack of diagnosis a few days on (was mostly relieved at the time) as it's harder to justify your concerns to friends, extended family, teachers (as i'm sure you know very well for yourselves). I suspect you're right, triggles- ds is 5 and only started reception in January. He's getting on pretty well with his classmates atm- plenty of parties, playdates etc- but I think kids that age are pretty forgiving of eccentricity. Problems with peers might well come later.

And despite feeling like a bit of a fraud, I agree with you that a parent's gut instinct that something is not quite typical is usually not a red herring. Meanwhile I'll keep checking out all the excellent asd advice on here

Woofie

If you DS is being invited out to parties etc then clearly he has a lovely personality which isn't turning the children off from inviting him. DS (5.11) has been in school for the whole of reception and year 1 and has been invited to a total of 5 parties and no play dates across the two school years. 3 of those were only because I am friends with the girls mothers from nursery. Through the whole of year 1, he has only been invited to 1 party - one of the ones where I am friends with the mother. I have only just realised this ........
:(

You might be lucky and find that he doesn't have problems with his peers - which would be absolutely wonderful:)

Although the paed made it quite clear that he is very likely to be on the spectrum somewhere, I keep thinking what if after the multi disclipinary assessment they say he hasn't got it and he is just a boy that no-one likes :(

That's great about your ds's bike ride Leningrad We've been lucky in that ds has never really hit out physically, his outlets are more verbal (gibberish words, humming etc) and clandestine licking, which he clearly realises is inappropriate as he tries to hide it. But overall not too obtrusive.

Aw ben10- it is horrible worrying about whether the other children like your child I do, a lot, even though ds seems to be doing ok for now. Do you think your ds feels different/ left out? Because he finds playing with the other boys effortful, ds does take time out to play by himself too some days, and I have to remind myself that's fine- he likes it and as yet it doesn't mean he feels excluded. I think leningrad's right though, there is someone for everyone, though perhaps it might be easier to find that friend later on in childhood, when there are more alternative groups besides the cool kids.

I know it is nowhere near Friday now but DS doesn't mind that he isn't playing with anyone else. I think he knows that it is the "norm" to want to play with other children but actually isn't bothered. He finds the playground completely confusing with the noise and all of the children running around. He prefers to play with the teacher as she doesn't shout and run around. He actually would be fine on his own I think but it is me having a go at the school about the whole thing that means that she plays with him.

It is us that has a problem with his social skills, not him. Thanks both for reminding me of that. :)

Yes it is totally our problem. I had a heart-sinking moment this morning when I took ds1 to school. His 'best friend' (I think the attachment might be a bit stronger on ds's side) was back from a 10-day holiday. Ds has been literally bursting with excitement all weekend and saying how much he's been missing his pal etc. As soon as he saw him he started following him around trying to tell him in detail about an episode of ben10 he'd seen - he's never been into that sort of boys' goodies/baddies stuff at all but is trying to learn what the other boys like to fit in. Anyway his friend was clearly finding him overbearing and trying to escape... Ds was trying so hard, just it's not natural for him. All the mums love him though! Only a tiny thing, but makes me - my problem, not his!