Moving up to secondary school, lets flap about it together.

[lostinwales]

Apologies if anyone has started a thread like this already I just need some handholding before September. DS1 (11, formal diagnosis of Dyspraxia, informal of ASD) is currently in our small village school, 10/15 to a year group everyone knows everyone and he has a nice little group of friends. He copes very well with the routine there and his teacher has time to teach the way he learns and after help with an OT he is doing really well.

The one thing he doesn't cope with is anygthing away from this lovely order. This morning he walked to school ahead of me with DS2 as I dawdled with DS3. He got to school, realised I hadn't signed a form (not essential today but if he's been told it need doing it HAS to be done). He dumped his coat and bag and ran all the way out of school to me in a complete panic, by the time I'd calmed him down and we got to school and signed his form it was 5 past 9, at which point he started to hit himself in the forehead with his homework folder and panic as he was late (and as he has been told not to be late this mega panics him). In the end he was taken to calm down by an LSA and I explained to his teacher and they were lovely and calm and helped him but I could see he would be in a state all morning. How will he cope in a school with 1,000 pupils? Right now I could cry, I want to go with him and keep him safe but I can't and it terrifies me.

Morning everyone, DS1 and I are having anyone else? He actually woke up after me which is nothing short of a miracle.

ds1 has just left [wibble] will put a photo up soon.

DS2 left at 8.00, very excited, jumping and flapping. He's feeling fine, I'm a wreck. I took some photos but won't be able to post them until I can get to the computer tonight. Looking forward to seeing yours.

One down two to go then I can have a good cry sit down and relax. I stalked watched hidden in the car and he was fine getting on the bus. I had a little [snurk] to myself as one if his NT friends was walked down by his mum 15 minutes early for the next bus to the school in town. I was just jealous really!

Ooh, just saw your picture, Ninja. So cute, so little, blazer sleeves down to his finger joints, I see.

I've got work today, so won't have time to dwell on it.

Repeat after me, "They'll be fine, they'll be fine."

yes ellen, I plan on that blazer lasting the next 5 years So pleased your ds2 left happy, it makes a world of difference.

lostin, my girls are still in bed or I'd have done the same, I just craned my neck out of the front door as he walked off down the road. When do your other boys go back?

Hi everyone. I have been very worried too. It is a big step and change even for children in sn school.
Ds started at his new SS secondary today. I have been very concerned because he is moving from a lovely small MLD/ASD junior to a larger traditional MLD. However apart from signs of over excitement he managed well. And for the first time in his life he got up and dressed himself for school as we have been practicing!! The bus driver is lovely and I think is probably right to maintain order along with the older girls. I was worried about the lack of an escort. Ds was excited because the new school has a tuck shop!! He gathered all his pennies - which I confidently espect will be gone by tonight. However I can see he will need to earn more (bribary to keep up the homework/ tidy bedroom perhaps) or put up with apples from home.
They have to move for each class and carry their coats and equipment around -I wonder how much will be lost by tonight. I have carefully labelled everything including his rubber and pencil! Because he cannot read he had to take mini headphones (I think they rcord instructions for homework etc) but they look so delicate for a heavy handed non technical child !! We will see!
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Good to read that everyone's children got off to a good start this morning. Have you all been checking the clock and imagining what they're doing? I have been through imaginary breaktime and lunchbreak with DS1.

The amazing thing was that DS was fine this morning! This is a boy who couldn't even go to school a few months ago. He was up by 6.15, took his Prozac, dressed himself, had a proper breakfast (porridge and banana) and was ready and waiting on the doorstep for his friend 10 minutes early. When his friend hadn't arrived on time, he set off alone, quite unphased, but, luckily, the friend turned up at that moment and they went off together, chatting. DS even remembered to text me to tell me he'd arrived at school.

I have had two calls from the Education Outreach Worker at school to let me know that DS is doing fine so far. Apparently, he gave the EWO a 'thumbs up'.

I just hope that DS has had a good day. At least he went there in the right frame of mind.

Hope all your children come back happy too, although I suspect they will all be exhausted.

Magso - hope your boy hasn't lost anything! I have set up a 'school supplies' shoe box in DS's bedroom to replace the inevitable pencils, etc, he'll lose.

lost - it's weird having all this time, isn't it? I have had tea with a friend and done some housework. The house is unusually quiet.

ninja - your boy looks so sweet. That's a lovely pic.

ellen - glad to hear your boy went off happy. Hope you get through today without too much worry.

you found us magso Hope your ds is in the same mood when he gets home! Bribery opportunities sound fantastic. Ds1 is at ms and it's the moving about and remembering everything that's a worry, that and getting there and back safely.

lostin, of course it will last 5 years hope you've enjoyed your peace and quiet, I'm waiting for wednesday for mine when the other dcs go back.

toffee, have had plenty of distraction today so it hasn't been too bad, but knowing he'll be leaving school in the next few minutes has been a worry.

Oooh, I'm bouncing up and down now, I managed to make the day pass (nearly bought a new car ) but this last bit is dragging! I am so worried about him getting on the bus now to come back. He was beaten up by a vile local boy on the last day of his test week sitting on the bus waiting to come home. I swear if I'd seen the boy in question I would probably have got myself into some trouble.

Yes Ninja, fo course it will

He's back and happy! Not sure if he likes his tutor, though. She's an NQT with a rabbit in the headlights look! Pictures now uploaded for a few days!

Thanks for pointing me over here Ninja and to you all for letting me join in. I do realise how much more worrying it is for those with sn attending ms school. Lost in Wales I hope your son has had a good day and bus ride.
Ds is back and in now ( he needed to be left alone infront of the tv for half an hour to regroup) in a boyant mood. I think he still has everything infact his pencil case looks unused!! The snack shop was closed so he ate the fruit I gave him. He earned a few points ( which they can save up to buy small things) and is saving for a tiny ?ball apparently. So far so good! He even wanted a hug!
I have a spares drawer too - because lost clothes/shoes have been a way of life for us - shall have to add stationary supplies too!

Elen they look so smart!

What gorgeous looking boys EllenJane! You must be very proud of them, I like the long cuffed blazer look everyone is wearing this season. Doesn't quite work as well on DS1's fleece.

DS1 is back too, had a bit of a moment when he forgot his money in the dining room so had to go back, then the queue was long, then he didn't know anyone to sit with which he's a bit stressed about but we've decided he won't forget again now he's found out what happens once so we are ok.

they were indeed fine lostin, now for tomorrow! What a fine looking bunch of boys we have between us I must say So good to hear first day has been got through, definitely for us by the end of the week.

ds1 survived, school was 'ok', he did 'not a lot' and that was about all I got other than played football at lunch [sigh] but he seems fine and has gone of to band happily so must be ok.

magso, I don't think ms/ss makes any difference, I would have worried either way!

So glad to hear all your boys got through the first day OK. DS was also fine. He rang me at 3.10 to say, "Mum, I'm just hanging out with some guys and I'm going to buy a milkshake so I'll be back a bit later" . He was back 15 minutes late, clutching a milkshake from Cafe Nero and looking very proud of himself. He said he has made two new friends and likes his classmates. He also likes the school. He is very tired. He hardly ate anything and didn't drink a thing all day. But he got through the day and seems to be happy, so that's all I care about for now.

So a successful first day for everyone, all in all. Here's to tomorrow.

Toffee, that's fantastic!! 'Hanging out with the guys..' Wow!

What's a tiny ball? Is it just a small ball do you think, Magso?

I dream of DS2 playing footbal, Ninja.

DS2 bought a barbeque chicken baguette for lunch, which was horrible apparantly, but he seems to have spent about £3. At least he remembered his money, lostinwales, I almost wish he hadn't.

Big yay for Toffeefudge junior, that's incredible for a first day.

I think we are going to have some food issues even if DS1 gets to sit with his friends. As the school is massive yr 7 eat in the primary school next door but pay with their own money. He doesn't like the hot food on offer and other than that there is a choice of cheese, ham or tuna sandwich. He doesn't eat meat (texture thing) and although he tried the cheese (which gets a big yay for trying something new) it wasn't cathedral city and therefore inedible. They aren't supposed to take packed lunch as they have such a choice of food but I'm going to have to ask if he can (and then fear the nasty boys noticing him being different again). I sometimes forget that an 11 year old who will only eat cereal, bread, plain pasta and plain rice (and fruit and veg) is hard to cater for. Still not impossible. I will give it a week and see.

Yes Ninja, we do have an uncommonly gorgeous group of boys between us. Obviously SN is the wiring for a superior race and all the others just have to catch up to the way their brains work!

Hello, I have been wandering aimlessly around MN looking for people of like minds to fret about the start of secondary with. I thought this thread had died (I was on it at the beginning) but obviously it was me burying my head in the sand and pretending that today wouldn't come.

DS1 started 'big' school today battling wind and rain all the way. He was absolutely fine as I suspected he would be. He has always settled well at school (except for 3 traumatic weeks when he started pre-school but I try to blot that out of my memory).

I managed to stay dry eyed until about 10 minutes ago because it struck me me that if you have a child who is a bit different you regularly get stuck in a catch-22 situation where you are asked your opinion on a course of action because 'you know your child best' but if you happen to have a differing opinion to the professionals you get a 'you're only his mother, you're too close/clueless/biased to know what is best.

I mention this as we got DS's timetable early, presumably so he could be prepared although he wasn't in the slightest bit interested tbh. It is bothering me as it seems he has only a handful of teachers, several of the teachers doubling up for 2 or more subjects. Plus he has to do 2 sessions of something called Successmaker which is supposed to be a computer programme to help with literacy and numeracy and for all his difficulties that isn't something DS needs. I would much rather he was in a classroom with other children than looking at a computer screen (although he will love it of course - playing on a computer is always more fun than actually doing proper work!). I envisaged him being in with all the other children but with the teachers aware that he needed just a little bit of slack so they are aware he isn't being deliberately rude or lazy even if he appeared that way. What we seems to have is him being separated out with other children who have very different needs to him. This lead me to the catch-22 thing where I am a bit worried about pressing for what we think is best for him against what the school are doing.

I suppose the hardest bit today is not knowing who the hell I am supposed to be addressing concerns to. It was so easy at the juniors - you went to the class teacher. Not any more.

Hope things are going smoothly for everybody and all the niggles are little ones.

Thanks for letting me have a moan.

lostin

niecie, pleased you found us again Speak to the senco about your concerns with the timetable, no doubt that would have had to go through him/her, they may be quite flexible. If it's just your average niggles then it's usually the form tutor who deals with things. Dd2's school is similar with a few teachers teaching more than one subject in year 7, it doesn't continue as they go up the school though where she goes. Hope your ds has a good day

well this morning was back to the usually nagging and reminding over and over again, he certainly wasn't ready on time as he was yesterday [sigh] I had to remind him that his tie was meant to go over his shirt as he'd just stuck it over his head, oh well.

Oh Niecie - good time to have a few tears. Do they have a year teacher/ tutor or someone like that to contact? it must be so difficult - not wanting to 'interfear' but knowing a little extra support goes a long way. Ds school have a head of year 7 I guess that is who I would approach but even in a ss it is not obvious. I miss the home school book!! I wonder if the successmaker is to give your ds a chance to relax and learn in his prefered medium?
Things did not go so well this morning. Ds earned a much needed time out ( don't ask!) then needed a trouser change - but at least it happened at home and he was still dressed himself without fuss.

your photos are lovely. I did not think to take a photo of ds.
A think the tiny ball might be one of those little bouncy balls that used to be in 10p machines - ds loved them as a younger child. They reward basic good self care like remembering their gym kit, wearing correct uniform, and getting to the right classroom.

Thanks for your kind words. Have pulled myself together a bit - had to as the doorbell rang and I am sure the delivery guy didn't want to see me weeping and wailing. It turned out to be DS's new desk being delivered - 3 weeks early. Impressive!! All that is left to do is get it built and then get DS to actually use it. I forsee it being a receptical for books and magazines but not as a place for doing homework.

The senco sent the timetable early and I have met her and she appears to have put him on the Successmaker thing (is it me or is that an incrediably naff name?). He has a form tutor where they do registration and she is the person we have a parents evening with in 2 weeks time to see how they are all settling in and then there is head of year although I haven't met him but he went to the juniors and talked to them so he should know what is going on. Plus DS has him as a teacher so he is going to know him.

We'll give it 2 weeks and see what happens after the CAT tests, when they do the streaming. I just don't want all of DS's confidence knocked out of him when he finds he isn't with the other children as he was so pleased with his report/SATs/progress in general in the juniors and we have been telling him how brilliantly he has been doing. If they then put him in the special groups what does that tell him?!

I think the tie is going to be a source of great angst for some time to come. My Ds just puts it over his head too. He can't see how to get it over the shirt as well. Plus he is left handed and it is really hard to demonstrate how it is done, as a right handed person to a left handed person who has no coordination for that sort of thing in the first place. He has only just learnt to tie the sleeves of his sweatshirt round his waist if he is hot and we are out. Putting bows in shoe laces or knots in ties is a long way off.

Blimey is that the time! - I suppose I had better remember to go and pick him up in an hour. I bet he had a lovely time and it is only me who is worried.

Don't worry I lost the thread and I'm the OP

Ties are such a pain, we should swap DS's for a little while as I'm left handed and DS1 is right!

I went to look at a new (well 'pre owned') car today in one of our big towns (all about 45 mins away) and it was 3/4 of the way through the journey when I was thinking to myself 'shouldn't I have come down the other side of the mountain by now' that I realised I taken myself on a rather longer journey to get so the same point which incidentally went past DS1's school. My internal sat nav obviously wanted to drive past even though I wouldn't see him. I do realise this doesn't make me the safest driver but I swear I was concentrating on the driving, I just let my brain take over on the directions!