Moving up to secondary school, lets flap about it together.

[lostinwales]

Apologies if anyone has started a thread like this already I just need some handholding before September. DS1 (11, formal diagnosis of Dyspraxia, informal of ASD) is currently in our small village school, 10/15 to a year group everyone knows everyone and he has a nice little group of friends. He copes very well with the routine there and his teacher has time to teach the way he learns and after help with an OT he is doing really well.

The one thing he doesn't cope with is anygthing away from this lovely order. This morning he walked to school ahead of me with DS2 as I dawdled with DS3. He got to school, realised I hadn't signed a form (not essential today but if he's been told it need doing it HAS to be done). He dumped his coat and bag and ran all the way out of school to me in a complete panic, by the time I'd calmed him down and we got to school and signed his form it was 5 past 9, at which point he started to hit himself in the forehead with his homework folder and panic as he was late (and as he has been told not to be late this mega panics him). In the end he was taken to calm down by an LSA and I explained to his teacher and they were lovely and calm and helped him but I could see he would be in a state all morning. How will he cope in a school with 1,000 pupils? Right now I could cry, I want to go with him and keep him safe but I can't and it terrifies me.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one considering surveillance techniques. Dh is even worse. :o

In our area the outreach team are involved in helping with the transition process. The primary school SENCO is really good too. It's just occurred to me that I haven't even thought about the secondary school SENCO.

I've just been looking through the section about secondary school transition on Sugarcandy's first link. I love the ideas for the prompt cards, planner etc and have just added the link to my favourites.

Thanks, Sugarcandy. :)

My DS2's next school have recommended he brings a camera and takes lots of photos, too.

I've just been looking at Sugarcandy's link and the ideas about introducing the vocabulary of secondary school sound really good, and having a list of books/equipment reqd for each day, so they can pack their own bag the night before.

I'm lucky in that my DS1 already goes to the school so I can show DS2 his homework planner / filofax thingy that has his timetable in and events and homework, plus an area for notes to the form tutor. It would be useful to find out what your DC's school uses as DS1 received his on his first day, so there was no time to familiarise him with it.

The school have recommended e-mailing as the quickest way to get hold of the Senco, Transition TA etc rather than phoning as they move around the school a lot during the day, but always have their laptops with them. Even if there was an incident that would affect him that day. That's something you'd need to discuss with your school, best route for communication as it isn't always phone up like I'd expected.

Some areas will do accompanied journeys for the first few days, charity volunteers and the like. Perhaps the secondary school Senco would know if they do in your area.

Again I'm lucky that DS2 will go with DS1, at least on the way to school. The journey home can be more chaotic as the DCs are hyped up at home time and will all crowd on to the bus at the same time, not nice and calmly like the morning when there are various pick ups. If you are thinking of transporting them yourselves, the trip home from school may be the best one to do.

This is such a useful thread. I'm going to be checking it a lot in the next few months. Shall we put SATs worries on it, too, in May?

Lost I am in two minds about having plastic surgery to follow DS into school. He doesn't like me putting my hair in a ponytail, so I doubt he would like it if I changed my entire face.

I will however, be happy to share my sunglasses!

We had parents evening last night and I mentioned the transition planning which has gone quiet but it seems the deputy head is dealing with it so no more answers today. I would much prefer it if I could take matters into my own hands and sort something out but we are in the system now. Still, if I don't hear something soon I might just do that. Sugarcandy's link was very good and gave some ideas that I hadn't thought of and that hadn't been mentioned.

Oh the joys of being in Wales and not having to worry about SAT's too.

DS2 is having a quick half hour tour of his secondary school tomorrow. This is an extra visit so his 1 to 1 can do some work with him with a transition to secondary school package. So far, it's all gone over his head. I'll take a camera and lots of photos. Not sure if floor surfaces will be needed, but we'll see, catok?

I'm not sure my stress levels can cope with thinking about SATs yet. Ds1 has a tendency to get wildly varying results from one week to the next - sometimes as much as two levels difference (ie the numbers rather than the lettered sub-levels).

Ds1 has now had an after-school visit to meet one of the teachers. He was nervous at first but seemed to quite enjoy it by the end. The teacher is arranging for someone to contact me about transition etc but the usual SENCO has apparently left the school and they're waiting for the new one to start.

I've stopped worrying about Y6 SATS. If he does well then that's good, he's capable of doing tests. If he does badly he'll get more support in secondary. The primary school is the only party that needs him to do well, it might actually be better if he just does realistically. It's not like an employer will care what Y6 SATS levels he got!

SATs are probably the one thing I'm not too worried about they are more for the schools benefit than my ds1. Realistically it'll be a stressful time for him as he doesn't like tests and is unlikely to be able to read the questions well enough to write anything appraoching an appropriate answer!

I'm all for the disguises, have seen these will start collecting hats and dark glasses.

tis bigcar btw

That disguise would give me anxiety issues, let alone poor DS! What were you thinking bigninjagoosecar?

I will flap with you my daughter currently attends a small school has multiple issues and omg I am lost about what happens in september lol. I have phoned the high school up and talked with the senco there, made me feel a lot more at easy about it all going to see him in about june time and he is going in to see my DD at school, so I can stop stressing a little but its all still a big thing :)

awww ellen, I'd ordered one especially for you too

hello lisa that's on my list for after easter, get on the phone to the senco and see what I can sort out, she's a nice lady but has a reputation for being a little eccentric What does your dd think of it all, is she happy to be moving up, sounding positive with the senco?

We let her pick her school and she chose the catholic one about 4 miles away and not the one around the corner lol. She said she wants to start over somewhere that no one knows her, so I let her :) She does sound ok about the new SENCO she is going to have. The current one in primary school we have not meet, I mean all this time in primary school and not once have I been able to see the SENCO. I even had to get parents and partnership in so that we got a meeting in school about her IEP. The SENCO at the high school said that there is lots of places she can go to if things are getting to much, and there is very understanding teaching assistance with in the class that will not single her out but at the same time help her. I find the biggest problem with the primary school she is at is how the teachers treat DD, she is seen as that naughty child and That's just not right. having special needs does not = the naughty kid. She really wanted to get into the grammar school but did not pass the exam. she was totally devastated about it but like I told her it does not matter at the end of the day you can still go to a good school :) I do think some of her not passing the the total lack of support she has been given with in school. all we ever get told is there is only so many hours given to them to get someone in to do the tests. I always thought that her time would come but never has :( hoping that in high school it will be a lot better and she will get the right support that she needs :) to me DD is priority but to the primary school DD is at the bottom of the list :( oh look at me ranting on lol

Am just marking my place as this is a really useful thread. My son is in Year 6, but he is off school at the moment and being educated at home as he was suffering extreme anxiety at school. He is dyslexic and we are seeking another assessement for Asperger's. He has a transition morning coming up in a few weeks' time and I don't know how he will do it. He feels ill just walking up to primary school with me to collect his younger brother. We are at a loss about what to do next. Home education is going well and he is happy at home, but his anxieties outside the home are just as bad as ever.

Hi Toffeefudgecake. Has your DS had his transition visit yet? If so, how did it go? Hopefully he'll see it as a fresh start rather than something to get stressed about. Let us know.

how's everyone getting on? Nothing new here yet, am waiting for one of the support workers to speak to school before I do.

We've got 3 individual 1/2 hour visits lined up then 2 whole day transition days with 1/2 of the whole year group. They have said they will put DS in the same tutor group as a 'friend'. Haven't had his tutor group through yet. It's looking good, DS seems confident. He's not a 'store it up and get anxious' sort of boy, more a scream loudly about it for 1/2 an hour then forget about it!

This is my SATs hi-jack.

Just had a look at the first paper, all about caving. Interview with a caver, journalist's day caving, advert for some caves. Didn't look too bad, but I expect my DS2 will have found the 'What was the writer thinking here, and why?' questions hard. Anyway, one down, 6 to go!

Just been reminded not to post this sort of info til this evening. Sorry.

So I was sent here from another link and so glad I was. My son just had his transition days. He coped well but struggled with his dinner money. Yesterday redone fine but today he spent it all on snack and had no ,obey for lunch, I gave him £4. He also had a melt down because he couldnt open the door, it's a heavy fire fire door, he thought he was going to miss bus home and burst into tears. He spent all his time out of class by his self but says he likes all his classmates but wanted peace as school is noisy.

I am sick with worry over him.

Hi chummybud. That doesn't sound like a good visit, your poor DS. Have the school been in contact with you at all, how did they deal with your DS when he was upset? Now would be a good time to arrange to see the SENCo and find out how they will be able to support your DS, especially as they didn't seem to have supported him adequately during the transition visit. Is he on school action or school action plus, does he have an IEP at the moment, or a statement of SEN? The secondary need to know about your DS's issues and have a plan to deal with them.

This thread has been a good source of information, but for a quick response to an urgent problem, your original thread on SN children will get more traffic, if you update it. Sorry, I seem to be messing you around but this is a quiet board and you might not get an answer quickly here.

We have a sen but nothing else. In Scotland so I think it's all different up here. I have had endless meeting with his school including the occ therapist paeditrician etc etc. The high school had me convinced they were waiting for him so to speak when he was upset they took him to the side and calmed him down before putting him back on bus. They have not contacted me and this all came from my daughter who works in a near by school so gets the school bus home. He seems happy enough though and says he is looking forward to going in. I have contacted the Hdcd organisation and they have sent me a great pack to give to the school on the best way to look after kids with Dcd..

Have recently had a diagnosis for DS - not Asperger's, but Tourettes Syndrome, OCD and social anxiety. He has already been diagnosed with dyslexia. He also has 'ASD traits'.

He refused to go to the taster day at secondary school this week. Last night I attended a parent's evening. We all had to list our main worry about our children going to school. Everyone was writing things like - 'won't eat', 'won't make friends'. I wrote - 'He may refuse to come at all'.

Am meeting the SENCO at DS's primary school on Monday and going to ask about getting a statement. Then will make an appointment to meet the SENCO at the secondary school. One of the problems is that I actually have no idea how we can make school bearable for my DS, although being in a small group, rather than a larger class, is probably a good start.

It is all very worrying. My son has been off school (with anxiety) since January, but I really want him to go to secondary so that he can socialise more and have all the opportunities that school can offer him.

Toffeefudgecake, meeting both SENCos is a good start. Shame he's not already got a statement, but have they actually requested SA yet? The whole process from requesting SA to getting finished statement takes a minimum of 6 months, but hopefully the secondary will realise he needs support to manage the transition and won't wait for the statement to provide it. If you have any specific questions post them on SN children to get a quick and varied response.